Light of Stars [2]

Chapter Fifty-Nine

♕ Moonflower ♕

There was silence in the bedroom as she stepped inside. Raven was asleep with both of her hands beneath her pillow. Vereena walked to the bed beside it, sat at the edge with her hands over her knees staring at her, wondering how she could've gotten it so wrong.

She tried to see her and search for anything that would let her know she'd been alike Deirdre all along. A frown in her forehead, a crease between her brows. But there was nothing in front of her except for the girl she had fallen in love with. The person she knew better than anyone else. Someone she had thought she'd spent the rest of her life with.

Vereena waited, staring and thinking of their life in Goldcrest, allowing herself to believe it had not been a lie. Everything they'd gone through, what she had felt, it was not a lie. Whatever this was, whatever Raven was doing could not have been anything more than a fool's desire for survival.

Raven's eyes opened, at first she did nothing but blink, and then as if remembering they did not do this anymore, as if remembering they had not shared a room in months she burst up, sitting and placing her hair behind her ears, her eyes wide open.

Vereena looked down, clearing her throat. "I did not mean to wake you"

"It's fine" Raven said, pulling the sheet from her body. "What's wrong?"

Vereena took a deep breath, wondering how could she ever look into her eyes again without feeling rage inside her chest, without feeling betrayed, hurt, broken.

"I went to see you earlier today" she whispered, not knowing if it was the right choice, the wise choice. But hoping, praying that Taj and her had been mistaken about what they'd seen.

"What for?" Raven asked, Vereena looked up, watching the tattoos around her arms shift to golden. Something turned inside her stomach. One of them had died, had lost their life for wearing those marks, and at the hand of none other than Deirdre. And she... she had been smiling at her, had treat her as a friend.

"It doesn't matter anymore" Vereena said. "You seemed to be occupied"

"Occupied?" Raven asked, her voice dropping. "I was alone all afternoon, I couldn't have been..." her voice cut.

Vereena shook her head. "Are you really going to try to lie your way out of this one?" Raven shook her head, taking deep breaths as she waited for her to speak. "Explain to me why I shouldn't ask Jay to strip you from those" she said not caring to hide the resentment in her voice. "Explain to me why I shouldn't exile you this second for even breathing in her direction"

"Vereena please" Raven said, her voice shaking. "Its not what you think I swear"

"Not what I think?" Vereena said. "Were you not speaking to Deirdre? Were you not making deals and being friendly with the person who killed Layla? Or have you forgotten about her too?"

Raven stood up, kneeling before her feet attempting to grab her hands. Vereena moved away, to stay out of reach of her touch.

"I have not forgotten. I haven't but if you let her explain... If you heard her side in all of this..."

"Her side!? She is a murderer. She tried to kidnap Bryden! She tried to kill all of us. She helped tear Goldcrest apart!"

"It wasn't her own doing." Raven whispered. "She is just trying to survive. Same as all of us"

"So now that means killing is okay?"

"You are a hypocrite you know" Raven said, standing back up. "You'd kill any of the marked, have killed multiple of them without caring to find out if they could even be saved, and you did it because you were trying to survive too. Why is she any different?"

Vereena breathed in. "I can't believe you" Raven said nothing as Vereena moved away walking towards the door.

"She was trying to warn me about the full moon Vereen" Raven said before she could step up. "Something big is coming. And she was trying to prevent you all from turning. From us ending up as her." Vereena turned around, watching Raven dig up moonstone dust from her pockets. "This is what she said could help us, any of us, resist the marking, of course, it would only help if the queen decided to not cut our throats and suck every bit of stardust from our skin. Which I believe highly unlikely considering"

Vereena snapped the door before Raven could finish talking. Rushing to her room, trying to avoid her tears from falling.

☆

Taj was already waiting in the entrance when she arrived, a hard piece of bread on his hand and a glass of water in the other. He smiled, Bryden sitting behind him eating his own portion of dinner, and what she could only assume where Taj's as well. She swallowed down the hunger and walked to them. Grabbing the glass of water and drinking it at once.

"Thank you" she said to Taj who only nodded handing her the piece of breath. She looked at Bry. "You sure you dont want it?" She asked him, Bryden's head shot up, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. Vereena forced a smile on her face, grabbing the piece of breath and giving it to him.

"But Vee..." Taj started saying before Vereena just placed her hand on his mouth. Knowing that if he told Bryden to give it back she would not be able to say no.

"Go inside Bry okay? We'll be right behind you"

Bryden smiled as he chewed on the piece of bread, nodding beforee rushing inside.

"Thank you Vee!" He yelled. "Love you!"

Vereena laughed as he watched him struggle to open the door, but her smile fell as soon as he walked inside. Taj placed an arm around her shoulders. It was cold now. Colder than they could handle.

"You didn't have to do that" he said.

"Yes I did, just lets not talk about it" Taj nodded.

"How did it go with Raven?"

Vereenas eyes shifted too the sky, her eyelids starting to close.

"As good as it could've gone" she said, holding in the need to scream at him how horrible it had felt. How much she hated everything that happened now, but Taj was probably, no, most definitely the one person that did not deserve to receive the fire of her anger. Especially when it was not directed to him.

"We are gonna have to talk about this with her sooner rather than later you know" he said.

"I know I just" She said, taking a deep breath to keep from crying. "I feel like I cant breathe"

"Oh Vee" Taj's arms wrapped around her closer.

"I know I should be angry at her, but I'm just hurt. So deeply." She said, closing her eyes as tight as she could. "And I hate myself for missing her"

"Those are normal things to be feeling right now, don't beat yourself up for it" he said, tapping his fingertip lightly against her eyelid, trying to get her to open them up again.

"Theres so many things i've gotten wrong lately, so many people that depended on me to keep them alive, to help them, to fight for them. And all I can think about is why would she even get close to that little piece of garbage"

Taj laughed. "Ninth hell Vee. You can't even curse at her. How am I supposed to believe you're an awful person like that?"

"Because I am" Vereena whispered, her voice cracking. "I am"

"You just gave up your only meal for the third day in a row just so my already full brother could smile at you" He said, holding her tighter. "You're an angel now shut up and close your eyes. You can sleep for a bit before you need to go back out" Vereena felt herself wanting to cry. Wanting to thank the gods for letting him in her life.

"You are my family. I never want him to know how it feels to go to bed hungry. Ever" She said, laying down with her hands beneath her head, promising herself she would just sleep for a few minutes.

"Well now you're just trying to get me to cry aren't you?" Taj whispered after a while.

"Sorry" Vereena said, a small grin on her lips.

Taj sighed."I promise we will keep trying okay? Aubrette is too. Wherever she is. Hold on to that."

"Okay" she whispered. She could, hold onto that, for now.