Light of Stars [2]

Chapter Four

♕ Numbing Loudness ♕

The back of her throat ached. She had woken up to the sound of her voice, and the pain lingering through her chords was sign enough of how long she'd screamed before she had awaken. Her breath uneven from the dream that often made its way into her mind. Sometimes it was bearable. Some nights, when she'd stayed up for a few days straight refusing to sleep, her mind was too tired to fabricate dreams made out of memories.

There are worse things to go to sleep to than nightmares, she'd learned.

Memories. Feelings. Reality. It all was much worse. Those were the nights that made her dread going to sleep, made her dread closing her eyes for even a second. Because every morning after, she woke up feeling like all of this was the dream, a sick nightmare twisted inside her head because of something she'd read, and after it was over she would wake up to him sitting in a chair in some part of her room with a forgotten book almost about to fall from his hands.

She would walk out of the room before he could wake up and sit in a long, beautiful table filled with warriors dressed in golden, patterns of mystic ink adorning each and everyone of their skins. Bryden would fight with his brother to be able to sit on the table because that was the only way he could eat comfortably. And after a while the golden prince would walk through the doors, and wink at her before sitting on his edge of the table.

It was a curse, to hear their laughter so clearly still.

She could count with one hand those days, that seemed to live brighter than any others in her mind. And at night, no matter how much she willed herself to forget, they'd become brighter, and similarly to how the sun burned through her skin and blood, the memories turned her soul into smoke and ashes.

Shadows flew around her eyes before she blinked them away, forcing her eyes to stare at the small window. The wind was silent. And the quiet lately did nothing except terrify her.

Aubrette stood up, barely opening her door before she saw Zander's black hair sneaking inside Sybilla's room. She waited there, expecting to hear her kicking him out, or their voices mixing together, but the ship was still silent.

Standing in the frame of her door staring out onto the hallway, she realized how much it felt like the day before, and the day before that, as if all of her days were starting to blend in a endless thread she could not see the end off. It was exhausting, and yet, and yet....

She closed the door and made her way back to bed, closing her eyes and hoping the shadows would too fade away by morning.

☆

Aubrette sighed and forced herself up the stairs and into the world, she had covered her skin as best as she could, wrapping it in the few sheets she had to cover herself at night, but there was nothing she could do about her hair, or her face. The sensation of burning was manageable at least. Today, it felt as if she'd been standing next to a fire for longer than she should.

Sybilla sat with her back resting on one side of the ship, both her eyes closed and her face up to the sky, like she wanted to soak in as much sunlight as she could. Zander was staring at her, again. Mason was with his swords, all of their swords really, daggers, knives, all of them would be sharp to cut through anything when he was done, that much she was sure off. Izabella sat with a piece of wood on her hands, tossing it around the air and waiting for it to come crashing back down to her. Aubrette moved to sat next to her, and Izabella smiled as she sensed her coming.

"Hey" she said, letting the small broken piece of wood fall to the ground, it looked like a broken star. There was no friendliness in her face, no sign of anything but understanding. Out of all of them, Izabella knew what she felt the most. Aubrette was almost sure their grief was similar in more ways than one. "You're out today"