Messing Up - JENSOO - english version

KJ 7

There's a phone ringing insistently. I try to cover my ears but it won't stop. I snort angrily and run my hand over to the table, but the phone isn't here.

"For God sake, Jisoo, answer that phone." Chaeng says irritated. Wait, Chaeyoung? Oh no, no, no. The phone rings again and I feel it being thrown into my belly.

"Savage." Low river and I answer without seeing who it was "Kim."

"Did I wake you up?" Jennie's soft, clear voice echoes over the phone, making me gasp. What the hell timing is this?

"How can I help you, Miss Kim?" I try to sound as firm as possible, even though my heart feels like it's going to come out of my mouth.

"Jisoo, don't treat me like that," she says, but I don't know how to respond as I watch Chaengie stretch in front of me. "Okay, two things. The first is do you know where Chaengie is? She and Lisa had a really bad fight."

"Do you want to know where Chaeng is because she and Lisa had a fight?" I say the words slowly and Chae turns to look at me with wide eyes.

"Yeah, exactly. Lisa stayed here complaining instead of complaining to you that you're her best friend." I can imagine her rolling her eyes while saying that "While my best friend disappeared."

"Chaeyoung is in my apartment." I clear my throat and stand up. "We met at a bar yesterday and when it was time to leave, I advised her to sleep here so as not to take risks."

"That was something I didn't expect." Jennie is thoughtful. Well, a lot of things she didn't expect happened last night. "And there's something else too."

"What?!" My question was not to Jennie, it was to Chaeng who is standing in front of me, only in her panties and my shirt. My gaze dances all over her body and I gasp. I fucked up.

"Should I leave?" Chaeng bites her mouth and leans closer to me.

"It's a good idea, considering everything that's going on." I try to say softly.

"Why does something tell me you're reluctant?"

"Because you're like this, almost naked, in front of me, while your best friend is on the phone with me!"

"Jisoo?" I hear Jennie's voice and swallow hard "Is something going on?"

"It's nothing you need to worry about, Jennie." I say as I watch Chaeng change, but she just puts on her jeans and keeps my shirt on.

"I'll take this" she points to her shirt and brings her mouth to my ear "You owe me a breakfast and my best friend is stupid to have left you. I think now she'll want you back." She whispers and I close my eyes when I feel her teeth in my ear before she go.

"Dear God, I'm lost." I say softly and she laughs.

"Jisoo, what's your answer?" Jennie's voice wakes me up again.

"About what?" I rub my temple.

"We need to talk, I can go to you and..." My mind is panicking now, Jennie can't come here, if by any chance she walks into my room, I'm sure she'll smell Chaeng's perfume. Wait, why am I worrying? She was the one who gave up on us.

"No, let's meet at a cafe or restaurant." I cut it quickly.

"Why?" her tone is hurt "Our conversation is too serious to be in a public place, considering that your father always puts someone to watch you and..."

"Ok, Jennie, ok. I'll be at your house." I hang up without waiting for her answer and lie down on the bed. I'm so screwed.

**************************

"Hey." Jennie's smile fades as she watches me from head to toe and I'm confused. As I follow her into her apartment, I open the front camera on my phone and see that there's a little bruise at the base of my neck. Why am I feeling guilty if we're not even together?

"What do you want to talk about?" I sit in an armchair opposite her, who sits on the sofa. I think she expected me to sit next to her.

"You didn't go to the company to get your things." She says without looking at me.

"You called me here for this? You can throw my stuff in trash or donate it, I don't know, I don't care. It was just that?"

"No, but I think from the mark on your neck, nothing I say will change anything." She turns to face me and I can see how angry she's.

"What do you want me to say?" I give a wry smile "Jennie, I'm sorry for having given up on you, since all you could believe was that I would cheat on you? Sorry, I don't have to stand behind you like a stray dog ​​looking for the least amount of attention? Sorry, after nearly a month of sinking into work, I decided to go out drinking and ended up giving in to my physical urges? Is that what you want to hear? Because I can tell you, but it won't be honest." I get up.

"I know?" She arches her eyebrow, but her eyes are getting red.

"Yeah, but that's not in your best interest anymore, Jennie. It stopped being the moment we finished."

"We didn't even finish it, Jisoo." She gets up and stands in front of me.

"Stop lying to me! I know very well that for you it was all over too. Everyone told me you didn't care, so stop pretending. You're just angry because I didn't stay behind you." I shake my head as I watch her cry. "It was a mistake to come here."

"Were we a mistake?" She says in a choked voice and I really wanted to hug her now.

"I don't know, Jennie, it wasn't for me. The days in my entire life that I was truly happy were when we were together, but if for you, all you felt was fear and paranoia, then we were a mistake. I'm sorry that something I really enjoyed experiencing was torturous for you."

"Jisoo..." she says in a low voice and the tears keep falling.

"Anyway, I think I should apologize if I was blind and didn't notice your insecurities, if I didn't try hard enough to give you security and confidence." I look at the wall behind her and take a deep breath "But honestly, nothing I had done or not done would change your mind and your heart. Part of me is sad that we weren't meant to be, that we weren't meant to be together. I was sure you were my soulmate." I approach her and hug her tightly, feeling the tears wet my neck "Part of me is happy, now you're free to find someone you really love and you feel that you belong to that person, without fears or insecurities. I hope you find the person who will cure your fears and make you happy as you deserve, because you deserve to be very happy, Jennie." I give her a kiss on the cheek before pulling away and leaving.