All in his head

nineteen

Adrian

She finally fell asleep.

She told me everything, every detail of what those monsters did to her and her true family. I have seen and done brutal things, but what she described was utterly horrific. 

And I never noticed, I spent 4 years in the same school as her, watching her. Yet never noticed how she was suffering, I'm trained to spot stuff like that but didn't notice. 

The tip of her nose is red from how hard she cried as she peaceful slept on my chest. 

I don't think I'm going to sleep for a very long time, the images of what she described running through my head. 

Tears of my own are still running down my face as small scars are suddenly appearing to me all over her skin, she has endured so much and I keep adding to her trauma. 

Her life was going perfectly before I had to show up, I took away her career, freedom, and worst of all. I'm the reason she has a large scar on her side now. I watched her look in the mirror at it with a look of disgust. She hates it, and it's all my fault it's even there in the first place. 

But she seems to seek comfort in me, the way she wouldn't let go of me after Jax had brought her to the warehouse is something I constantly think of. She won't go to bed unless I'm there either, no matter how tired she clearly is. Whenever we leave our room she holds my hand or hugs my arm, even if it's just to get something to eat. 

I don't know what I did to earn her trust, but no way in hell am I going to lose it now. 

We've been at the safehouse by the coast for a week now, Atlas and Kai are taking care of things while I stay with Tate for her to recover from that night. 

Time and time again I promise to protect this beautiful woman in my arms, and time and time again I fail. 

Atlas still thinks moving her to Sydney is the best chance of her remaining safe. The more time that passes the better his idea sounds, I could go be with her for the first few weeks and then come back to San Jose. 

Once she got comfortable there she would be perfectly happy, there's a thriving engineering company there with jobs for her specialty, a beach perfect for surfing. And she would be safe and away from my enemies. 

She moves around in my arms and presses her back to my side, keeping my arm in her death grip. 

Her small hands holding onto me remind of the things she has asked of me, 'just please don't leave me'  I still remember how terrified she looked when she said that. 

How could I do that to her? 

I can't abandon her like that after all of this shit I've put her through.

Once more she moves in my hold but this time her honey brown eyes are looking up at me. 

"What has you thinking so hard?" She asks in a sleepy tone while wiping my face with her hand. 

"Nothing to worry you're pretty little head about, go back to sleep princess" I respond, she frowns and moves her hand to my hair. My body begins to relax as she plays with it, her nails scratching my head making a sudden wave of drowsiness come over me.

"Just tell me" She whispers, I sigh and tighten my grip on her tiny body. "I was thinking about all the shit that's happen to you because of me" I respond, Tate frowns and sits up a little more to look at me. 

"Haven't you been the one to save and help me from all that shit?" She asks, before I can even respond she starts talking again. "You are dumbass, yes it all happen because of our connection but you didn't do anything but try to help me. So stop sulking like a fucking moron and go to bed. We've had a long night"

Then she lays back down with her head on my chest, her hand on my stomach, and her leg laying over my hips. Taking a deep breath I try to relax my body and focus on the way Tate is laying in my arms as I slowly fall asleep.

***

Our next week in the safehouse is spent with little talking, Tate continues being glued to my side only letting me out of her sight for going to the bathroom and to shower. But I didn't mind, clingy Tate is adorable.

The little pout she gets when I move in the slightest, or when she's asleep she'll hold onto me like her life depends on it. 

Tomorrow we go back into the city, and things will go back to how there were before at least somewhat. 

The apartment has been completely repaired and set up differently, even our room is going to look different.

Hopefully nothing will be a constant remind as too what happened. 

"Adrian" Her soft voice rings out, she stands in the bathroom doorway, my shirt looking like a dress of her. "The shower is being weird" I nod my head and walk into the bathroom behind her. 

Moving over to the large glass shower, I mess with the handle and notice it's stuck. 

"Princess, can you go get the big bag of tools from the garage for me" I ask, she looks at me warily but slowly walks out of the room.

Baby steps, if I was going to return to work I needed her at the point where she can handle me gone for a couple hours sometimes. And that means letting her get to the point where she is okay leaving the room.

Everything is on her timeline, if she isn't ready for me go handle shit for awhile, so be it. She is my top priority, always and forever.