All in his head

thirty seven

Tate

I felt a pull in my heart towards the door, that whatever is on the other side is something I need. 

The baby won't stop kicking and moving, he senses it too. Moving my hand over where he's kicking, I rub the spot and nod for Dominic to open the door. 

He puts a soft hand on my shoulder and opens the door. For some reason my eyes stay down my stomach, watching my belly move a little every time he moves. 

"I'll leave you two alone" I hear Dominic say, and I look up.

Right into a pair of bright grey eyes.

He looks at me with tears in his eyes, he looks different. A short beard and his hair grown out and is curling a little at the ends now. Slowly he stands from his seat, the same seat I was told he was dead in, and walks closer too me. 

I forgot how much taller he is than me, I have to tilt my head up to continue looking into those eyes I thought I would never see again. My brain isn't processing that he is standing in front of me, I've spent the past 6 months grieving him and thinking I lost the love of my life before I even got to tell him I love him.

His eyes flicker down to my belly, and my hand resting on it. The hand with his ring on it. 

Without a second thought, I start hitting his chest. 

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU LEFT ME ALONE AND FUCKING PREGNANT ADRIAN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU" I scream, the tears finally appearing as he stands there quietly taking the weak hits. It starts sinking in that he is front of me, and so does what has been happening these past months. 

It all clicks together now, why he rushed to get a ring on my finger not even a week before his 'death' after it had been discussed that we would be safer if we were engaged or married. How Kai had come to the apartment just hours before Adrian was supposedly shot to death. 

I start crying harder as more becomes clear, and stop hitting him. My hands rest of his chest and feel his warmth through my hands. 

He grabs my wrists and holds them to his chest, tears falling down both of our faces. 

"I'm so sorry, Princess. Please let me explain everything" He pleads, hearing his smooth voice brought me back down to Earth. 

I fall into his arms, letting his presence sink into my skin and head. He holds me tightly against him and places a hand on my stomach right as the baby kicks. I feel him kiss the top of my head and moves us over to the couch against the wall. 

Adrian lowers us down and locks me deeper into his side. 

"I wanted to come back to you the second I got the news you were pregnant, Baby. It took Kai and Atlas hours to convince me not to call this whole thing off, I wanted nothing more than to be with you and our baby" He says, I stay quiet and try to decipher if this was a dream or not. 

I've had dreams of Adrian being alive multiple times, but not this vividly. 

"Call what off?" I manage to ask, he sighs and moves his hand in soothing circles over my belly. 

"About a week before I left, we planned to stage my death to lure Tommy in. He knows if I was gone everything would collapse for us. So we faked it, didn't tell you to make it look real and pretend that everything was falling under. And he finally came right to us 3 days ago. After we had him, I went and took care of those scumbags that hurt you. I made them suffer, Princess. They felt every ounce of pain they ever delivered into you and some. I'm so fucking sorry I did this too you and made you go through most of your pregnancy alone, I should've been there." He explains, I nod and tightly grip his sleeve in my hand. 

"B-but I saw your body, I touched your cold dead body" I whisper and look down at his hand rest on my belly, I can feel his warmth through the fabric of his hoodie that I'm wearing.

"It was all fake, that wasn't a real dead body. I had that done knowing you would want to see me one last time, and it made the most sense to pay off the mortician for his help to set it up." He tells me, I nod and try not to think of the money he spent on this thing to pull it off. 

How long had he been planning this before going through with it?

How did I not notice that he was planning something big?

What all has he been doing while he was dead to the public?

"We're having a boy, and I'm due in 2 months. I like the name Gavin, it means god send. I think it's fitting" I say changing the subject, deciding I don't want to know what Adrian has been doing these pasts months. Whatever violent things he has been doing, doesn't mean shit to me. 

The father of my child is back and alive, he needs to know what's going on inside me right now. 

"He is the size of a cabbage and weighs about 3 pounds, his hands are fully formed and he is moving like crazy. Last week at my checkup you could see him grabbing his foot on the ultrasound." I inform him, he nods and kisses my temple. 

"I love that name, Baby. I'm so proud of you" He whispers.

Carefully he wipes the tears away from my face, his hand shaking a little. 

"Your mom has been mean to me, she told me I should give the baby up for adoption" I mumble into his chest, he sighs and moves my legs to rest over his. 

"I know, she knew I was alive the whole time and was worried she would let it slip to you. So she thought if she said mean things to you about our baby, you would pull away from her and give her fewer chances of telling you" He says, I nod and try to hold back tears.

I thought she hated me and blamed me for his death, but she was trying to protect her son and his plan to protect me. 

His heart is racing under my ear, his hands shake whenever they lift of my skin of a moment. The baby hasn't stopped moving or kicking, he knows his dad is finally near us. 

"Do you have a picture of him with you?" Adrian asks unsurely, I nod and take the one out of my phone case then hand it to him. 

Looking up at him, I see the love in his eyes as he shakily holds the small picture of the ultrasound. He smiles down at me and kisses me after 6 months apart from one another. 

Another single tear rolls down my face when I feel his lips on mine again. He moves his hand to my cheek and wipes it away without pulling away from me. Electricity I haven't felt in so long flowing through my body, I feel like I'm actually alive again.

We both pull away to catch a breath and keep out foreheads pressed together. 

"I will never do this to you every again, Princess. I'm so fucking sorry I made you go through this, I should've been there with you instead of hiding like I did" He whispers, I don't say anything and lean back into his chest. 

He did what he had to do, and now he is back with me and our baby. I won't have to wake up thinking I lost him before I ever truly had him ever again. 

"I love you, Adrian. I'm sorry I didn't say it back when you proposed" I say as fresh tears make their way down my face. "Don't ever say sorry for something so stupid. You shouldn't say something just because I said it. I told you I love you because I do, and because you didn't say it that moment doesn't mean I think you do feel the same way I do. If I remember correctly, you showed how you felt that night perfectly" 

I nod and feel the heat rise in my cheeks, the night we conceived our baby. The night we didn't use any protection because we were so caught up in each other and the need for one another. Also the night he left me.

"I love our baby, I love that we get to start a family together, and most of all, I love you" He whispers, I mumble it back and hug his torso. His beard scratches my forehead as he kisses me again and holds me close to him. 

I didn't lose the love of my life.