All in his head

twenty nine

Tate

Light shines through the windows of the room, I barely slept last night. Part of me wished for Adrian to have come in the guest room last night and hold me, but the other part hated that he was even just across the hall. 

Slowly I get out of the bed and walk out of the room. 

"The new cameras and locks are going to be installed next Tuesday, and we have their release dates." 

The voice makes me stop in my tracks and turn towards the open office door. Atlas and Kai are sitting in front of his desk both holding files in their hands. "But it's going to be hard to protect your girl if she isn't even aware of this" 

I move out of their view and sit on the floor, they must be talking about me unless Adrian has had time for another girl yet I doubt it. 

"She shouldn't have to deal with anymore of their bullshit, I can keep her out of harms ways and unaware" His voice rings out, he sounds like he is trying to convince himself more than them. 

"And how do you plan to keep her safe when you two are sleeping in different rooms" Kai asks, I bite my lip and wait for Adrian to respond. 

"I pushed her too far yesterday trying to show her I wasn't lying. That won't become a normal thing" He answers, "And unless I say so, she is to remain unaware of her father and uncle's release. Clear?" 

My heart drops as I rise from the floor and walk to Adrian and I's bedroom. Right past the open door, I hear heavy footsteps behind me. 

I can feel him behind me, I can feel his panic as if it was my own. 

His hand goes around my waist and holds me from behind. Feeling his touch made the words further sink in and my heart start racing. 

"Princess, I'm going to protect you. It's going to be ok, I promise" He whispers into my hair, his other arm going around me. "Why didn't you just tell me yesterday?" I ask, he sighs and sits down on the edge of the bed, turning me around to face. 

His hands hold tightly onto my waist, he keeps his head down. I climb onto his lap, my legs on either side of him, and gently put my hand on his tightly clenched jaw as my other holds his tensed shoulder, waiting for him to answer. 

He won't meet my eyes, "Because I'm a fucking pussy, Tate. I'm too weak to tell you the truth. Every time something hurts you, it fucking kills me to see you like that. So why even put you through that pain when I can deal with it and not have you hurting because of it." he finally admits and looks into my eyes. Tears line his eyes, his mouth in a firm line as he tries to hold it together. 

"Where has you not telling me what's going on gotten us, Adrian? I slept alone for the first time weeks because you choose to keep me in the dark. That hurts me more than knowing about my father and uncle" I say, he nods and rests his forehead against my shoulder. 

I take the quiet moment to take him in, he's still in his clothes from yesterday, heavy bags under his eyes, and his hair is a complete mess. 

"How can I trust a man who can't tell me what's going on?" I question as I try to fix his hair, he shakily sighs and shrugs. "Adrian, if you truly want me to trust you like I think you do, you have to work for it. You can't just keep stuff from me, especially when it directly effects me"

He lifts his head and nods finally letting one tear fall down his face. I wipe it from his cheek and give him a moment to process what I said. "I really fucked up" He states, I give him a sad smile and nod. 

More tears escape his bloodshot grey eyes, and he doesn't bother to try and wipe them away. His hands tightly hold my waist, keeping me pressed against him. I keep running my hand through his soft hair and wait for him to speak. 

"Can I tell what's going on with your father and uncle?" He asks, I take a deep breath and nod. "At my parents house, my dad told me that they're to be released in a couple months. That's why I started acting weird, I was trying to figure how the hell I was going to keep you safe." 

I nod and stay quiet, "The thing is, our fathers were in competition when we were in high school and that your father is more likely to come after us to kill you, me and everything my family has built. I'm so scared he is going to hurt you again, I'm scared that he will break you, I'm fucking terrified."  He admits, tears fall down his face at a rapid pace. 

He was letting it all out and I'm sitting here speechless. I just keep playing with his hair and wiping the tears off his cheeks.

"Please never sleep in that goddamn room ever again, I like you in here, in our bed" He says once calming himself a bit, I laugh and wrap my arms around his neck. 

"Don't give me a reason then Kings" I say, he gives me small smile and kisses the tip of my nose. 

"I'm fucking tired" He mumbles, I smile at him and rub the back of his neck. "Did you sleep at all last night?" I ask, he shakes his head no and rests his head on my shoulder.

"I watched you toss and turn most of the night trying to figure out how I could make you forgive me" He answers, I nod and watch his eyes flutter close, his long wet lashes laying perfectly across his tear stained cheeks. 

"Why don't you go shower and change, and I'll make us something to eat" I offer, he sleepily nods and loosens his grip on me. I slip off his lap and let him stand up, he wipes his face with his shirt and takes a deep breath. 

He kisses the top of my head before slowly walking into the bathroom, once I hear the glass door open and close, I walk out of the bedroom and find Kai and Atlas in the kitchen eating all of my snacks. 

They both look at me warily when I walk in and start pulling out ingredients for pasta. 

"Soooo how much do you know?" Atlas asks, "Everything" I answer, he nods and looks down at his beer. 

"Where's Aid?" Kai asks, "He's taking a shower and is probably going to bed after" 

They both stay quiet and put away their snacks, "You should bring Savannah over sometime, I miss her and I doubt the big baby is going to let me out of here anytime soon" I say, Atlas nods and smiles. 

Halfway through me cooking, they leave and Adrian walks out in nothing but sweatpants with soaking wet hair, dripping all over the floors. 

"Did you even try to dry your hair?" I ask, he shrugs and sits on one of the bar stools watching me. "You're like a baby sometimes" I say and grab his hand, he follows me back into the bathroom and leans against the counter. 

I grab his towel and motion for him to lean down a little, he does and I towel dry his hair until it's just damp. He lets me put some product in it and detangle it before finally having enough of it and standing up to his full height where I can't reach his hair. 

I frown and place my hands on his toned stomach wanting to play with it for a little longer, he smiles down at me and places a hand on my waist. 

"You can mess with it later, but I'm starving and whatever you're cooking smells good" He says and leads us back out to the kitchen where he makes us both a bowl.

We sit at the table quietly eating before cleaning up and going back to our room. Adrian immediately flops onto the bed but realizes his pillow is still the guest room and leaves to get it. I get ready for bed and change into one of Adrian's shirts before crawling into bed with him. 

He pulls me into his chest and I feel the tension leave him. 

The sunsets through the windows as we lay in peaceful silence. I trace his tattoos and feel him play with my hair as we both drift off to sleep.

But the end is about to begin, and neither of us are prepared.