can't help falling in love- spencer reid

nine

a/n: TRIGGER WARNING!! Evelyn has a panic attack in this chapter. if that triggers you, please skip that part of this chapter. there will be a warning before and after in bold.

"Evelyn? you're awake!" Spencer exclaims, tightly hugging her. "spence, too tight." she squeaks ou, Spencer immediately letting go. "sorry." he laughs softly, holding her hand and caressing it with his thumb. "I thought I lost you." he said quietly, sounding broken. "first you and the maeve." he continues. "you're not getting rid of me that easily spence" she jokes softly. "who's maeve?" she continutes, obviously curious. "she was my girlfriend." Spencer says sadly, looking down. 'okay ouch' Evelyn thought. "was?" she asked softly, not wanting to push him if he didn't wanna talk about it. "she had a stalker and so we couldn't meet and the stalker turned out to be her ex fiancé's new girlfriend who felt undermined when Maeve looked over and disregarded her essay. Maeve's stalking kidnapped her and when we found her I had to pretend to be in love with her instead of Maeve, and I messed up, which made the stalker shoot herself through her temple and it....." Spencer drifts off. "it went through her head and into Maeve's, killing the both of them instantly." he continued sadly. "Spencer, i'm so sorry." she said sincerely, combing a hand through his hair. although she had a huge crush on him and desperately wanted to be with him, she cared more about him being happy, and if that meant being with another girl, she was okay with that. "I missed you so so so much." Spencer says. "I missed you too, earthworm." Evelyn says, making sooner smile. "oh there's the smile I've missed so much." Evelyn says smiling. "oh don't lie, its not that great" he laughs. "I mean it Spencer." she says seriously. "am I going to end up having to talk about what happened?" she asks him, her tone suddenly turning to fear. "eventually, but not until you're ready, okay? I won't let them bother you about it." Spencer says. "thank you." Evelyn says. "h-how long has it been? y'know since he....um-" she says. "you don't have to finish, I know what you're trying to say. yesterday was exactly two years." he stated, it now being the next morning. "holy shit." she said in disbelief. TRIGGER WARNING!!! "hey spence?" she says, her voice becoming shaky, her eyes becoming watery and her breathing starting to become heavy. "you're having a panic attack." he says, immediately picking up on the signs. She nods and begins to break down, Spencer immediately wrapping his arms around her and bringing her as close as he could without hurting her. Spencer whispers things that usually help her during a panic attack. like ' its okay' 'i'm here.' 'its okay, i'm here' 'breathe'. things like that. TRIGGER WARNING END!!! once she came down Spencer continued to hold her, making sure she was okay. "are you okay?" he asked softly, wiping the tears that had fallen from her eyes. she nods softly, still clinging onto the lanky man she called her best friend. "y'know I never stopped looking for you. none of us did." he says softly, still holding her. "I know." she says. "thank you." she continues. "for what?" Spencer asks. "not giving up. if I'm being honest, it's the reason I survived all that time. I knew you guys would find me sooner or later." she says. "but I really don't want to talk about it anymore. where is everyone else?" she asks. "well some have gone home, I know hotch and jj have because of their kids, but as far as I know, everyone else is still here." he says. "I can go get them if you want." he says, beginning to stand up before Evelyn holds him tighter. "no, it's okay. they'll come in eventually." she says. "there's something else. that's not the whole explanation." Spencer says. "what's bothering you caterpillar?" he asks. Evelyn sighs, looking down. "I know the team is nice and everything, especially that Penelope, but I just met them. the day it happened. I really only trust you right now." she admits. "that's okay. I'm not going anywhere. I promise." he says, climbing into the bed next to her, holding her as tightly as he could without hurting her. "try to get some rest, I'll be here the entire time." Spencer says. "but I wanna stay awake with you." she protests. "caterpillar, we both know neither of us have gotten much sleep in the past two years. if you sleep, ill sleep too. how does that sound?" he says, trying to negotiate with her. "did they catch him?" she suddenly asks, Spencer not responding, Evelyn getting the memo that meant no. "do you think he's ever going to get caught?'" she asks. "I don't know, I really don't. I wish I did. now get some rest. please, for me?" Spencer says softly, looking deep into her eyes, making her melt slightly. Evelyn nods hesitently, closing her eyes and almost immediately falling asleep in Spencers arms.