can't help falling in love- spencer reid

thirty nine

two months later everything between evelyn and spencer had fizzled out, their relationship pretty much back to normal. "open it." evelyn said excitedly. they girls of the bau were currently sitting on her couch with boxes in their hands. "wait stop not yet." evelyn says quickly as spencer walks in the front door. "out out out." evelyn  exclaims, jumping up and pushing spencer back outside. "what was that for?" spencer asks. "go back to your apartment we're discussing top secret information." she says. "well when do i get my girlfriend back?" he asks. "i don't know, tbd. i'll text you. love you, bye!" evelyn says, kissing him quickly, hopping over the plants as she ran back inside. "huh." spencer laughs, getting in his car and going back to his apartment. "what was that about?" tara asks. "you'll see." evelyn says, making sure spencer pulls away, locking the door and coming back to the group. "okay open." evelyn says excitedly. the four girls open the boxes, revealing an ultrasound of a baby and a positive pregnancy test. "oh i knew it! that's why you were eating so much on that one case!" jj exclaims, hugging her tightly. "yes, but i didn't know i was pregnant. that was the very very beginning. i was too worried about the situation with spencer, but then we fix it and i was like hey, i missed my period oh my god i'm sick, oh that explains me eating to plates of food, well time to go test." evelyn says. "the two other times my life has been so hectic i didn't even realize i missed my period until i started having symptoms." she continues. "that's why you kicked spence out." jj says, connecting the dots. evelyn nods. "yea, i plan on telling him later today." evelyn says. "well congrats!" emily says, hugging her tightly. "oh my god, another baby to spoil!" penelope says excitedly, clapping her hands together. the three other girls laugh, evelyn's eyes widening. "oh jeez." evelyn says. "speaking of spoiled babies, where's baby gray?" penelope asks. "he's upstairs sle-" evelyn starts, being cut off by grayson starting to cry. "see what you've done?" evelyn says, going upstairs to get him. once she fed, burped and changed him, she brought him downstairs, penelope immediately making grabby hands as soon as she saw him. evelyn laughs, handing grayson to penelope. "you guys cannot tell spencer, okay? i'll text the group chat when he knows." evelyn says, everyone's eyes immediately going to penelope. "what?" penelope says, oblivious to what they were implying. "that means you, penelope." emily says. "hey! i am a very good secret keeper." penelope defends. "let's not forget who told spencer i liked him?" evelyn replies. "okay well i was drunk, and if it wasn't for me you two wouldn't be together so you're welcome." penelope defended. "we probably would've gotten together somehow." evelyn says, laughing softly. the four of them hung out for a couple more hours before they left, evelyn getting spencer's box ready as he drove to her house. he unlocks the door, looking around for her. "evelyn?" spencer calls, evelyn coming down the stairs with the box. "what's this?" spencer asks, kissing her softly. "a box." evelyn replies. "i can see that. what's inside the box?" he asks as evelyn grabs his hand, leading him over to the couch. he sits down on the couch, evelyn sitting across from him. "a present for you." she says, handing him the box. "for me?" spencer asks, his eyebrow raised. "mhm." evelyn nods. "open it!" she says excitedly. spencer laughs, untying the bow and taking of the top, revealing a plain white sheet of paper that read 'baby #2' spencer looks up at her, his face full of shock. "keep going." she smiles. spencer removes the paper revealing a onesie for grayson that said 'best big brother'. "are you serious?" spencer asks. "keep going." she says again. spencer takes out the onesie,. revealing an ultrasound of the baby, a positive pregnancy test and a pacifier. "you're pregnant?" spencer asks softly, setting to box next to him on the couch. "surprise." evelyn smiles. spencer engulfing her in a huge bear hug, kissing her passionately. "finally got this 'telling spencer i'm pregnant' thing down." she laughs. "wait is that why you kicked me out earlier?" spencer asks. evelyn nods. "yea, they had the same box, but it was just the picture and the test." evelyn says. "how far along?" he asks. "2 months. i tested positive as soon as we got back, but i knew this is how i wanted to tell you so i had to wait until i could get an ultrasound where you could tell it's a baby." evelyn explains. "where's grayson i need to put this on him right now." spencer says excitedly, picking up the onesie. "in his room sleeping." evelyn says, following spencer upstairs. "do not wake him up." evelyn whispers shouts as spencer goes into his room. "look, he's already up." spencer says, pointing to grayson, who was standing up in his crib. "oh look at his hair, it's a mess." evelyn laughs. although he was only a year old, he had quite a lot of hair, something he got from both spencer and evelyn. "yea, he looks like you when you wake up." spencer laughs, evelyn playfully hitting him. "mama." grayson says, making grabby hands at evelyn. the two of them look at each other and gasp, that being grayson's first word. "ha! i told you it'd be mama!" evelyn says. "no, you said it'd be mommy." spencer says. "same difference, rather it be that than daddy." evelyn says. "why?" spencer asks as evelyn picks grayson up. "cuz then it proves i'm the superior parent." evelyn smirks. "yea, but if it was daddy, i'd have two people calling me that." spencer smirks. "spencer!" evelyn exclaims, covering grayson's ears. "unless you have another kid i don't know about or you're cheating, that's not true. i have never called you daddy." evelyn says. "you talk in your sleep sometimes." spencer says. "no i don't." evelyn says, putting the shirt on grayson. "you'll say like one word when you do it, though." spencer says picking grayson up once he was in the shirt. "go sit in the chair with gray, i have to take a picture." evelyn says, pulling out her phone. spencer sits in the rocking chair, making sure grayson's shirt was visible. evelyn takes a picture, sending it to the group chat, not giving any explanation. "for the record, i was joking about the daddy thing." spencer says, evelyn taking grayson since he was making grabby hands at her. "but you do talk in your sleep." he continues, sitting on the floor with evelyn, who was playing with grayson. "you're such a good mom." spencer smiles as he watches her play with grayson. evelyn sighs. "i try my best."she smiles weakly. "what's wrong? was it something i said?" spencer asks, sitting up worried. "it's just hard. like i wanna hold onto him and never let him go because i'm scared what happened to madison will happen to him." she sighs. "that wasn't your fault. as much as you think and say it was, it wasn't. you had no idea that was going to happen. and you've already left gray a few times when we've had cases and he's been fine." spencer says softly. "and it terrifies me every single time." evelyn says. "you've never told me this." spencer says. "i could've helped you, or try to help at least." he continues. "i'm not your little toy you can always fix, spencer." evelyn snaps, sighing softly. "i'm sorry. i just-" she says, trying to find the right words. "don't like me always trying to fix you even if it's unfixable." spencer finished softly. "well yes and no. sometimes i appreciate it. more than you know. like after madison died and i wasn't doing well, but on the other hand, there's some things you just can't fix, and you keep trying ti fix it. i will always blame myself for what happened to madison, i will always be terrified it will happen again, even though i know he's dead, and there's nothing you can do about it. i know you're just trying to help, but sometimes it just makes things worse, and sometimes it leads to you throwing me against walls." she says. "so now you're saying me trying help you is a bad thing? then maybe i should just stay out of it altogether and let you go through it alone." spencer snaps, obviously hurt by what she had said. "spencer stop!" evelyn exclaims, raising her voice. "stop what, evelyn?" spencer replies, matching her tone. "i-" evelyn says, picking up grayson and going to her room, locking the door so he couldn't get in. evelyn sits on the bed, putting grayson in his swing, trying to gather her emotions. a few tears had escaped her eyes, due to both pregnancy hormones and stress. "evelyn let me in." spencer calls from the other side of the door, knocking on it as he spoke. evelyn said nothing, covering her ears to try and block out the sound. "evelyn, let me in." spencer repeats, his tone harsher than before. "spencer stop." evelyn says, feeling a panic attack brewing inside of her. "i'll stop when you open the door." spencer replies harshly, banging on the door. "stop it spencer, i'm serious." evelyn says, a little louder. "no, i'm serious evelyn. open the damn door." spencer yells. "spencer for the love of god stop fucking banging on the door and shut the fuck up for once!" evelyn screams, her sobbing now very apparent as her panic attack is set in full motion, spencer immediately realizing it. evelyn's panic attacks were rare (thankfully) but when she did have them they were very intense and scary for her to go through, which only made it worse because then she would panic about not being able to catch her breath, eventually cutting of oxygen to her brain and passing out, which had happened once before. spencer stopped banging on the door, now trying break it down so he could help her. "come on, come on!" spencer yelled angrily, putting his whole body into slamming into the door, the door finally swinging open, spencer immediately wrapping his arms around a violently shaking evelyn. "it's okay, i'm here. i'm sorry. breath." spencer said softly, evelyn holding onto him tightly, scared about not being able to breath. "it's okay. i'm sorry, i'm calm, see?" spencer says, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out, trying to help her. evelyn eventually began to calm down, her frantic gasps of air turning into shaky breaths turning into deep breaths of air. "see? you're okay." spencer says softly, running his hands through her hair, freaked out about the situation. "are you okay?" he asked once she had fully calmed down. "no." she says, her voice shaky. "spencer, we're always fighting. and i had to lock myself in my own bedroom because i was scared of what you would do, if anything. you made me have a panic attack." she says, spencer staying silent. "i'm scared spencer." she whispers. "of me?" spencer asks quietly, his voice breaking. "kind of. and i'm scared our relationship won't make it." she admits. spencer goes to hug her, but evelyn moves away. spencer sighs softly, sitting back against the headboard. evelyn shakes her head, moving so she was sitting on spencer's. "it's stupid, really." evelyn says, letting out a pity laugh. "i shouldn't be scared of you, you're no threat to me right now. you're the gentlest person i know." evelyn says, trying to convince herself she was okay. thankfully it worked as soon as spencer wrapped his arms around her, evelyn sighing softly. "i don't wanna loose you, spence." evelyn says softly. "you won't. i promise." he says gently, kissing her head softly.