My Girl

57 | little angel

"Look over there, Dad." I pointed at a swing as Dad carried me on his shoulders, holding my legs.

I giggled, knowing that Dad would let me play. He'd always fulfilled every wish coming from his five years old daughter.

"Do you want to play that swing?" Dad walked across the playground with me sitting on his shoulders.

"Yeah," I exclaimed in a cheerful voice, my heart beating in anticipation.

Once we arrived at the swing, Dad placed me on it and walked around so that he could push it from behind. My hands were sweaty as I held the swing ropes tightly, like my life depended on it. I wanted to play this so badly, but I was scared that I would fall.

"Don't worry, Mia," Dad said with a reassuring tone. "I got you."

My shoulders relaxed a bit after hearing that, because I knew that he would protect me.

"I won't let you fall. Even if you slip, I will catch you before you reach the ground." With that said, Dad began to push, and I soared to the air.

Laughter escaped from my lips as excitement filled my heart. The wind blew gently, caressing my hair and skin. All I could feel was pure bliss and contentment as I enjoyed the view of the beautiful bright blue sky above me.

I didn't know how long I played the swing, but Dad never left my side. When I finally got bored, I told him to stop.

I got down from the swing and buried my face in Dad's chest, hugging him tightly. He laughed, embracing me. I closed my eyes, feeling safe and secure in his arms. There was nothing else that felt as safe as his arms.

When we pulled away, he had a large grin on his face. His eyes glinted with love as he stared at the happiness on my face.

"Now, where would you like to go?" He raised his eyebrows playfully.

I giggled. "I want to eat ice cream."

"Ice cream?" he repeated, and I nodded vigorously that he broke into a smile. "Okay. Ice cream, it is."

My eyes snap open, only to find the ceiling of my bedroom. My heart feels full from the dream I just had, which was a flashback of my memory with Dad.

The longing inside me stirs again. Remembering that moment feels warm but also painful, because I've lost him forever. The feeling of his love for me is still very much in my heart, and I don't think that it will ever go away.

I sit up and rake my fingers through my hair, thinking about what has happened these past few years. My heart clenches painfully as the realization washes over me.

In the end, I chose my father over the man I love. But Cal didn't have the chance to choose his sister over me.

That day, he didn't know that Jasmine was sick. He didn't know that she was dying, waiting for him to come home.

A shaky breath leaves my lips when I remove my blanket and sit on my bed. Slowly, I trudge toward my desk, where my bag is lying. I take a white envelope out of it and sit on the chair.

My eyes dart on the envelope for long seconds as I brace myself to finally read Jasmine's letter. I know that I would never have the strength to read it if I didn't open it now.

No matter how hard it is, I have to face the reality. I have to hear what Jasmine wanted to say to me before she took her last breath, no matter how painful it would be.

After taking a deep breath, I rip the envelope open and unfold the paper. My heart is beating restlessly as my eyes find Jasmine's handwriting, the handwriting of a ten years old girl.

Silence fills the room, and my eyes drink every word.

Dear Amelia,

I'm writing this letter to you when Cal isn't around, because I don't want him to find out. He left to pick you up, and I'm alone in my room.

Do you know how worried he was the whole night? He couldn't stop thinking about you. I don't know what happened, but I've never seen him so restless. I hope that everything is fine. I know that everything will be okay. That's what I told him.

But now that he hasn't come back for hours, I'm starting to worry. I hope that it's really nothing serious. If something happened to you, he would be so sad. And you would make him happy again, right Amelia?

My brother is everything to me. I love him very much. He's my angel :D

He's been taking care of me since I was really, really small. He held me when I cried. He gave me milk bottles. He made me delicious food. He... changed my diapers. I just want you to know that he's really good, and loving, and the best person in the world.

Cal never told me when he was sad, but I always knew. I knew it when he was thinking about our parents. I knew it when he lost hope, when he didn't believe in love. I knew that he thought so ever since his mother left him.

But when you came, it all changed. My brother is... happy. He's really happy. I never see him smile the way he does every time he looks at you.

So, please, Amelia, please don't take that happiness away from him.

I'm so worried. I'm waiting patiently for him to come back with you. You will never leave him, right? I don't know why, but I have a really bad feeling right now. I'm so scared that you will be gone, that you will never come back. I'm willing to wait for hours as long as you come back.

After my mom died because she gave birth to me, our dad left us too. Can't you see that, Amelia? Because of me, my mom died and our dad left. Cal lost his dad because of me. I don't want that to happen again. I don't want him to lose anyone again because of me.

I know that this is too much to ask, but please, don't ever leave him, Amelia. Don't ever leave my brother, because he loves you too much.

This is my only wish.

I think that's all I want to say. I want you to stay by his side. I'm not feeling well right now, so it's getting harder to write.

I love you to the moon and back.

Jasmine

PS:

When you read this letter, I'm sure that you're already back. It would be awesome if you can ask him to watch more Disney movies. I'm up for a movie marathon.

Please don't tell Cal about this letter, because he will never forgive me.

My hand is shaking as I hold the letter, reading the last word in it. Tears are streaming down my face, and I'm sobbing hard.

She didn't call. Jasmine didn't call her brother to come back home, because she was afraid that I would be gone for good. She didn't want Cal to lose me because of her. She fought her sickness alone even though she was dying.

But what did I do? I left.

I left them.

The pain inside my chest is unbearable, and the only thing consuming my mind is this little angel, who has sacrificed herself for her brother.

For me.

For us.