I've Loved and I've Lost

Chapter 41

Danica POV

I watch as Meredith exits the O.R. her face saying it all. "No, please no!" 

"Derek!" Meredith yells as she runs to hold me up, my knees giving out of me. Derek runs out of the O.R. and grabs me as Meredith runs off. 

"I'm gonna--" I rush over to the garbage can and vomit hard. I hold the edge of the garbage can as I continue to vomit. "This can't be happening to me! This--what did I do to always get the short end of the stick!" I practically scream.

"Dani you need to breathe, for the baby," 

"The baby," I whisper. I turn back around and continue vomiting into the garbage can. 

Danica POV

We all stand outside the room George is in. I stand with my back to the wall, not having the stomach to look at him. "How do you know for sure it was George?" Derek asks softly. 

"He wrote 007 on my hand with his finger," Bailey comes up to me and writes something on my hand but I can't make it out. "I know it sounds crazy but that's George," I say, my voice gravelly and weak. "Callie, look at his hand,"

"What?"

"Look for the texas birth mark on his hand," I say with a small sob. She walks into the room and bursts into tears after a few second. Tears stream out of my eyes as I squeeze them shut. I can't do this. I run, despite them all calling my name, I run. I go to the steps and before I can even take a step my eyes lock with the saddest eyes I've ever seen. Mrs O'Malley. 

"DANI!" I hear someone scream before everything goes black, blissful silence taking over. 

TW: If you aren't okay with trauma and death please stop reading here.

Danica POV

My eyes flutter open, the sound of beeping waking me from my peaceful rest. "Dani," Callie gasps as she rushes to my side. 

"What happened? Why am I in a hospital bed?" I ask confused as I see everyone crowding around me outside. 

"You seized from all the stress," Derek explains. Mrs O'Malley. 

"Where's misses O'Malley?" I ask trying to move but almost cry out from the sudden wave of pain. 

"You fell down a flight of stairs Dani," Bailey says as calmly as she can. My eyes look to the door as a redhead walks in. Her eyes bloodshot and her nose red. 

"Addie," My voice is barely above a whisper praying she isn't crying for the same reason I think she is. She bursts into tears and I leans back into the pillow behind me, my hands covering my face. 

"Mrs O'Malley wants to talk to you about George's organ--"

"Donate them. Any that are available," I say quickly as I sniffle. "George would've wanted his organs to be put to good use," I sigh before asking the most dreaded question. "I lost my baby didn't I?" 

There's silence and I have my answer. "Was it a boy or a girl?" 

"It was a boy," My shoulders shake as a sob leaves my lips. 

"Dani--" 

"Get out Hunt!" 

"I--"

"OUT! This is all your fault. If you hadn't have told him to join the army he would've been in surgery today and then he would've come home to find out that he's gonna be a father! Just get out of my sight!" I yell, not an ounce of remorse in my voice. "All of you please leave," 

I turn on my side facing a wall, hugging my knees to my chest despite my body screaming at me not to. I've lost everything in the span of a day. 

Danica POV

It's been a day since George passed and I'm sitting in my room, in the dark. There's a knock on my door and I ignore it. "Hey, I brought you some food," I look up and see Meredith. "It's just soup but it'll be good for you," 

"I'm not hungry," I mumble. 

"Dani, I k--"

"No! Please don't do that. Please don't act like you understand what I'm going through. Because I have lost everything. I-I don't know what to do and--and It hurts. It hurts so bad Mer. Every time I have something good it gets taken away from me. I'm broken, again. I'm like fine china that has been dropped one too many times. George cracked me and now he's shattered me. It's wrong and as a doctor it's even worse but I wish that woman had died instead of him!" I sob out as I sit up. She places my soup down on the dresser and sits on my bed. 

"I didn't just bring soup," A creak in the floorboards makes me look up and see Bailey. She walks in and sits down beside me. Without a second of hesitation, I place my head on her chest as quiet sobs leave my body. She wraps her arms around me and rubs my back. 

"Why am I not good enough for people to stick around?" I ask with a hiccup. 

"Oh Dani girl, you are good enough. The love George had--has for you will be with you for the rest of your life. And that baby boy, is with his daddy and they're both watching over you all the time," SHe says softly as she strokes my hair. 

"I don't wanna be alone. I didn't want to be alone and George was always there for me. What do I do without him. How do I live without him?" I ask as I fiddle with my wedding band. 

"I brought something for you," She reaches into her pocket, George's wedding band, hung on a chain sitting in her palm. "Can I put it on you?"

I nod and she clips it around my neck. My eyes look at the photo laying on my bed. Our wedding photo and I smile lightly, for the first time in over 24 hours. "I'm gonna miss you Georgie," I whisper as a tear rolls down my cheek.