I've Loved and I've Lost

Chapter 47

Danica POV

"Derek I'm telling you I'm f--fine?" It comes out as a question as we pass the NICU and see Alex with his shirt off, holding a baby. "What are you doing?" I ask with a laugh. 

"He's saving a baby's life, that's what," Bailey answers. 

"Doctor Bailey I--oh, no shirt," Reed says as she stops beside Derek. "He's wearing no shirt," 

"Have you started to lactate yet?" Derek teases. I let out a snort as I cover my mouth to try and stop laughing. 

"Bailey made me," Alex states, clearly annoyed. 

"Is this the room for the calendar shoot?" Mark asks as he walks in. I start laughing harder, holding onto Derek for support. "I was told it was downstairs," 

"Yeah, alright, that's enough. Everybody out. Let Karev do what he's doing in private," Bailey says ushering us out of the NICU. 

"What is he doing exactly?" Mark asks.

"Out!" Bailey yells. We all chuckle lightly before going back to what we need to do. I walk down to Liylah's room to see how she's doing after her very minor surgery. I walk in and see her sleeping. I smile softly as I walk over to her bed, brushing some hair out of her face before placing a kiss on her forehead. 

"I love you, baby," I whisper softly before leaving the room. After a nice drive home, I end up at Callie's for Arizona's surprise party. I'm wearing a white long sleeve turtle neck with a plaid, black skirt that falls at my mid-thigh, paired with black boots. I walk over to the refreshments table and grab a beer.

"Dani, I heard about Liylah, how is she?" Callie asks as she walks over to me.

"Wait Liylah? What happened?" Mark butts in, overhearing the conversation. 

"Who's Liylah?" Lexie joins the conversation. I laugh lightly before answering.

"Liylah is my daughter, she came to the hospital due to a heart murmur. She went into surgery and came out great, thanks to Arizona. She is doing well and is currently sleeping," I answer all three questions before taking a sip of my beer.

"I didn't know you and George had a baby," Lexie says with a smile, completely unaware. Callie and Mark give each other a look before I answer.

"Um no. Liylah's dad is my ex-fiancee. She's not George's baby," I say simply with a shrug of my shoulders. 

"Oh. I'm so sorry," I wave it off as I give her a side hug before plopping down on the couch. We all hear the sound of keys jingling and quickly get into position, switching off the lights. 

"Surprise!" We all cheer as she walks through the door. Blowing kazoos and clapping. We watch as her face morphs into one of sadness as she starts crying. Oh no. She tries to talk but nothing comes out as she runs out of the apartment. Callie takes off her party hat before running after her. I finish off my beer before heading into Callie's room. I plop down on her bed and just lay there for a bit. The sound of the door opening causes me to sit up. 

"What do you want Ocean Eyes?" I ask with a sigh as I flop back down. 

"Saw you come in here. Thought you could use some company," He chuckles as he sits on the edge of the bed, looking down at me. 

"Nope. No company needed," I chuckle lightly as I fiddle my fingers, nerves suddenly sprouting throughout my entire body. Why am I nervous? It's Jackson. There isn't anything special about Jackson. I mean sure he has nice eyes, and a handsome smile, and his body is-- Stop! "I should get going," I say as I stand up.

"So soon?" He asks as he stands up as well, looking down at me with a smirk. 

"Yeah. I'm exhausted, it's been a long day," I say honestly as I rock on my feet lightly, avoiding eye contact. I look back up at him to see him already looking at me. He leans in and without a moment of hesitation, I lean up and connect my lips to his. My hands grasp his shirt as his grasp my hips. The kiss becomes more passionate, butterflies bouncing off the walls of my stomach. He turns slightly before sitting down on the bed, pulling me down on top of him, straddling his waist. I grind into him out of instinct as his hands grasp my hips harder. 

One of his hands moves to brush some hair off my shoulder but it tugs. We break the kiss and I look down and realize my hair is stuck to my chain. My eyes travel lower on the chain and land on George and I's wedding band. The realization hits me like a train. I immediately get off his lap and he must see the fear in my face cuz he stands up "Dani are y--" 

I turn and I run, straight out of the house. Leaving the sound of Jackson calling after me in my wake. I get downstairs and hop on my bike, racing home. I get inside the house and it's like I can't breathe, my hands shaking as I struggle to unlock the door. "Derek!" I scream out as I get the door open. I know he might be sleeping but I need him. "Derek!" I yell again, my voice cracking as I try not to sob. I close the door and lock it as I turn to see Derek coming down the stairs. He sees me and I immediately run and hug him, sobbing into his shoulder. 

"Dani, what happened?" I hear Meredith's voice, groggy from being asleep but still filled with concern.

"I don't know what happened. She was yelling and when I got down here she was sobbing," Derek answers as I grasp onto his shirt tightly, afraid to let go. "Dani, breathe and talk,"

"I-I-I-I almost s-slept with J-Jackson," I stutter out between sobs. 

"Who?" Meredith asks for clarification.

"I-I don't know what h-happened. He k-kissed me or I-I kissed him. And then I-I was on his l-lap and I panicked," I sob out, my body shaking as Derek helps me upstairs. 

"Dani, breathe," Meredith says as she helps Derek get me to my room. He helps me into bed and sits on the end, rubbing my arm as Meredith lies beside me. 

"I-I-I- it's the rings. I saw the rings," I manage to get out as I look down at the necklace. I take it off and put it in my drawer beside my bed. "I can't--I need to move on! But he's everywhere! It-it feels like he's embedded into the foundation of that hospital!" I yell in frustration. "Everywhere I look reminds me of George!"

"I know," Derek sighs, knowing he can't say anything to help me. I lay back with a sigh, sniffling as Meredith and Derek try to comfort me.