shutterbug ~ johnten

two

a drunken smile rose on johnny's face as he put down the glass of red wine he'd just finished. today was the one year anniversary of him and his boyfriend's relationship. the two worked as models for separate companies, but met at an event a few years back, and their companies merged.

they lived together in an apartment which wasn't too run down, but not too fancy, which was shocking for the amount of money they made. they weren't the materialistic types. they enjoyed living like everyone else when they could.

his boyfriend's name was jaehyun. he was very well known, especially in korea, where his company was based, as he's originally from seoul. he was handsome in johnny's eyes. he loved looking at him. every free moment he got, his eyes would land on this man.

he was quiet. the shy type. he didn't show affection much, and rarely did anything for their relationship, but when he did, johnny fell deeper and deeper. he adored this boy, even though he sometimes felt like he was the leader in their relationship.

jaehyun saw johnny as his inspiration, alongside his lover. he admired him. every move he made was perfect, and he loved the way he simply... just.. lived.

jaehyun was messy. his brain was messy, his environment was messy, and his life was messy, but he didn't let that stop him from spending time with the people he loved.

johnny didnt see any of his mess though. he just saw love. peace. happiness.

when jaehyun took the last sip of his wine, he fell into johnny's arms, where he got the boy's arms wrapped around his waist. their bed was covered in rose petals that johnny had jokingly scattered around the entire house, and small wine stains from the two being childish.

this is where the younger spent the rest of his night. in the arms of his one and only, as the tipsy american enjoyed the cuddles and trashy show that he'd put on for the two.

-

"fuck-" ten gasped, as the man ontop of him released, falling to his side. after pleasuring himself, he stared at the ceiling for a moment. why did he do that. was he really that empty that he had to fill the holes in his life with sex?

he didnt know this man. he'd only had one conversation, before bringing him home. he didnt want him at his house anymore, but he couldnt say that. instead he laid, feeling cold, uncomfortable and unloved.

"you okay?" the man asked. ten couldnt see his face. he didnt want to. he didnt want to grow an attachment. he just wanted sleep.

"mhm.. i'm good, yeah-" ten stammered, pushing his hair back and shutting his eyes. he just wanted to fall into slumber, and wake up alone. he regretted all that he did tonight. he shouldn't have drunk anything, "you okay?"

"mm.." the voice replied. ten didnt even get to know his name. he didnt want to, either, "i... should go."

ten nodded sadly, realising that neither of them really enjoyed that. he didnt feel anything except... sex, "do you need money for a ride home, or?"

"nah, it's good. i can walk. i dont live too far from here," ten watched as the figure stood in the dark, reclothing himself quickly, "will you be okay?"

"yep."

and with that, the man had left, and ten was in tears. he didnt know why he kept doing it. he'd regret it everytime. it'd end up in tears, and pain, and disgust in himself.

his body was weak, as he laid ontop of his bed, completely nude. the window was open, so the cold, winter's air was burning his delicate skin. he sat up, wrapping himself in his blanket, before waddling to his bathroom.

staring at himself in the mirror filled him with feelings of disgust. his eyes were dull, and drooping. his lips were red, and. they stung. his hair was messy and his bare figure was used.

-

tentography i didn't sleep 🌙