Castle's partner

Hospital

I am panting. I can still feel ache and rawness of my lungs. I am aware of the dull throb coming from under the cast on my leg. I feel someone grab my hand.
I look over and see Beckett sitting there. I see pain and fear etched into her eyes and face. There are tears dripping down her cheeks and her eyes are bloodshot.
"Why didnt you tell me?" Her voice is breaking.
"I could have helped you. I could have protected you."
I suddenly realize that she is blaming herself for what happened to me.
"Beckett, no matter what they would have gotten to me eventually, just like with your moms murder. They would have hurt you too. And everyone." It is my turn for a breaking voice. She lets go of my hand and pulls me into a hug.
When we let go of each other several minutes later, she asks, "so what happened exactly? After you tell me, I can tell you."
I nod, and try to put my thoughts together before I continue.
I tell her the story of how my siblings and my dad were murdered, and about the case file and my visits to the prison and my phone being tapped. I tell her about the mans text and how he kidnapped me, and I stop there.
"Wow. That's a hell of a story."
"Yep. So how did you find me?"
"Well I waited a week like you asked, even though now I wish I hadn't, and started looking through everything in that file. When i saw the picture of you at the back, and you had written on it 'they're after me' i knew i had to help fast. It didnt take us long to figure out who took you an where you were. When I ran in I saw... that man... And you were screaming... I didn't even know what to do. I froze for a second but than I killed him because I knew he had caused you pain. For a whole week..." She trails off because she's crying so hard she can't speak anymore.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner. I'm sorry for all the pain he caused you." She whispers, barely loud enough for me to hear. I hold her hand while she is telling me this.
When she finally stops crying she starts talking again.
"We lost you for a minute. You literally died. You went into shock from everything that happened, and you had lost so much blood. Lanie had to do CPR on you in the ambulance." She smiles sadly. Her phone starts ringing and she answers. She listens and says, "ok ill be there in ten." She hangs up, and I become confused.
"Wait, where are we?"
"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. We're back in New York. That man brought you here."
"I was drugged for that long?"
"Yeah. That stuff he gave you was harsh. I have to go but I promise I will be back. I imagine you are going to be entertained for a while though, there is a line of people out the door that want to talk to you." She gives me one last hug and starts out the door.
"Wait Beckett?" She turns around to look at me.
"Thank you." She smiles, and turns back out the door.
Before I even lay back down, Lanie comes rushing in. She looks the same as Beckett did when she came in.
"Hey, how you feeling girl?"
"I'm ok." I lie.
She sits down on the side of my bed. She takes my hand like Beckett. I know this is going to be hard.
"Lanie I'm so sorry."
"Why are you sorry? You are the one that was tortured for a week!"
I wince when she says this. She goes quiet for a moment, but with a breaking voice starts talking again.
"I walked into that room, and I saw you laying on the ground, and not the other guy. They only call me in when someone dies, so I saw you and I thought... I thought it was you." Tears start streaming down her face.
I look her in the eyes and whisper
"I'm ok. It's ok, I'm still alive."
"But you weren't. I saw you die. In my arms. And it would have been my fault because the CPR I was doing didn't work. You died, and there was nothing I could do."
"Lanie." My voice is breaking.
"Lanie I love you so much. When I died, I saw my family again. My dead family. And they told me I had to stay because you guys were here and I couldn't leave you guys. You are the reason I am still alive. You saved me."