Castle's partner

Blood in my Veins

I open my eyes, and Ryan is in the chair next to me, still asleep. I am still tired, but I have been asleep for eight hours already, and that's more than I have gotten in a long time. I silently make my way to the bathroom.
After I'm done, I walk back to the kitchen and decide to make breakfast as a surprise for Ryan.
I pull out the supplies, and settle on omelets and hash browns. I put the pans on the stove, and start cracking eggs in a bowl. After I beat them, I pour them on the pan and start making the insides. I get out ham and a knife, and start cutting up pieces of it. I turn towards the stove and notice the eggs are burning. In an all too fast motion I start towards the stove and trip over my own feet. The knife is still in my hand, and when I hit the ground, the knife hits my arm.
I cry out in surprise and pain as blood blossoms from my skin.
My eyes widen in fear knowing Ryan will think I did it on purpose. I quickly stand up and look at him, making sure he is still asleep. I turn off the stove and rush towards the bathroom. I close the door and rip a wad of toilet paper off the roll. I press it to my arm trying to stop the bleeding, but this cut is pretty deep. I am trying to decide what to do. I can't tell Ryan because he won't believe me, but I need this bleeding to stop. Blood drips to the floor during my desperate attempt to cover up my mistake.
I am too busy tearing more toilet paper off the roll to notice the door opening.
"Ross?" Ryan looks at my and my bleeding arm and then at the blood on the floor.
"Ryan it's not what you think! Just listen to me!"
"It's not what I think? Because it looks like you cut yourself."
"I didn't!"
But my cries are in vain. He grabs the bathroom scissors from the medicine cabinet and drags the blade across his arm, twice.
My worst nightmare has come true.
"NO! Ryan!"
I drop my arm and run to him. His arm is bleeding now too. I grab the towel from the rack and press it to his skin. Our eyes meet. His are full of worry, and mine are full of pain and fear. Although my blood is getting everywhere, I don't care. The only thing I care about is getting Ryan to stop bleeding. I am so busy taking care if him I don't even notice the tears streaming down my face. He takes me in his arms in such a way that the back of my hand is pressed against his chest while I'm still holding his arm, and the back of his hand is against mine. I sink to the floor, and so does he. I manage to choke out, "Ryan, why did you do that? I didn't cut myself I promise. You can't do that again." Although my words are choppy, he gets the idea of what I am saying. I can still feel blood coming from my skin, but I am glad Ryan's has stopped.
"I had to. It's only way you will stop." His words are muffled because he has buried his lips in my hair.
"But it was an accident. I slipped while I was cooking."
He lets go and looks at my bleeding body.
"Are you telling the truth?"
"Yes! I told you that!"
He goes silent for a moment, his eyes still trained on my arm.
When he finally speaks, his voice comes out in a whisper.
"Now do you understand how I feel every time I see your scars?"
"Yeah." I am avoiding his gaze.
"Hey look at me." He gently moves his finger under my chin and turns my head so I'm facing him.
"I love you."