Castle's partner

Surprise

"The zoo?" Repeats Ryan, a bit confused.
"Yeah."
"Ok. But why?"

"Momma, Daddy look at the anteater!
He's sucking up ants with his nose!"
I giggle at the sight.
"I wanna see!" My little brother exclaims from the comfort of his stroller.
I pick him up so he can look through the glass window.
My sisters are pointing at the giraffes and laughing as they stick out their long tongues.
My dad takes my moms hand, and she smiles up at him.

A wave of nostalgia washes over me as the memory ends.
Ryan nods. "Ok. Lets go. Do you promise to be safe?"
"I promise."

We eat at El Palmar. Well Ryan eats and I nibble a few bites.
Then we go to the zoo, and I run around like a little kid trying to find all of my favorite animals.
Ryan follows, keeping up with me, all the while a smile keeps his face company.

I am exhausted by the time we get in Ryan's car and drive back.
We take the elevator to the second floor and walk down the hallway to his apartment.
As I step up to the door, I notice the welcome mat is a bit crooked.
And it wasn't when we left.
"Ryan," I point to the mat.
He motions for me to be quiet and pulls out his gun, holding it in front of him.
He slowly turns the handle, before quickly shoving it open and running inside.
The door bangs against a wall, and a woman screams.
Then we see each other.
"Oh Ryan!" She exclaims. "You scared me."
His face lights up and he drops his gun on the table and embraces the woman in a hug, kissing her passionately on the lips.
When they pull apart they are both grinning from ear to ear.
She then turns her head to look at me, and her smile grows wider.
"Samantha!"
She envelopes me in a hug.
"Hey Jenny."
My worries have left me, and I am very happy to see Jenny again.
She lets go and her and Ryan sink into the couch while I take the chair.

"So how's your father?" Asks Ryan.
The whole reason she was gone was so she could take care of her father who was ill.
"So much better!"
As they get caught up, I sit there and wonder whay it's like to be in love.
These two are perfect for each other.
You can tell just by watching them, they are madly in love.
"So how have you been Samantha?"
Jenny asks. I forget she doesn't call me Ross.
"I've been great!" I lie.
Ryan's face falls a little when I say this, but I know he doesn't want Jenny to worry about me.
She knows about my family's murders and my kidnapping, but she doesn't know about my depression, PTSD or suicide attempt.
I hope Ryan doesn't tell her.
"Awesome. Have you been staying here?"
My face turns red.
"Yeah I'm really sorry. Beckett's still getting a room ready for me but she's been busy and I feel bad staying here because its such a hassle and-"
"Samantha!" She cuts me off.
"I'm happy you're here. You don't need to apologize."
I blush. "Thank you."
She nods.
I stand up.
"Well I'm going to bed."
I walk to my room and try to figure out how I'm going to hide my nightmares from Jenny.
Ryan is going to want to be with Jenny, and if I'm alone it will end in me screaming.

I decide to just go to sleep, and if I have a nightmare I'll just play it off like it was a one time thing.

I close my eyes, happy to see Jenny again, but sad knowing she will eventually find out what I've done.