Castle's partner

With Arms Wide Open

After a twenty minute conversation between the jury, they come to a decision.

"Guilty, and is sentenced to life in prison plus 23 years and no parole." The judge slams his gavel on the desk.

I don't hear anything after that.

I feel like I could float, like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders, my fear now gone.
But it's too good to be true. Always.

Brandon jumps up and escapes from the officer holding him.

He makes a beeline for me.

Before any other officers can grab him, he's grabbing me.

His hands wrap around my neck, his fingers digging into my skin.

He squeezes harder, and only for a few seconds, but I already feel myself losing consciousness.

Then someone pries him off of me, and I fall to the floor.

And the room turns to chaos.

Espo grabs him and slams him against the wall.

I gasp for air, sputtering and coughing to get air into my lungs again.

Beckett is next to me, and I cling to her and start crying. I sit in her lap, my face in her shoulder, and she strokes my hair to calm me.

I don't care that the entire court room is watching, I just care about Beckett.

I only focus on her.

"I'm so sorry baby he's not going to hurt you anymore. It's over now. He's gone okay?"

I shrink against her even more.

Her arms cover me up, and this is the only way I feel protected.

"Samantha?" Ryan's voice calls out to me.

And I freeze.

Beckett sees my fear mounting. "Ryan, you need to go away."

"But-"

"Kev, I'm doing this for both of you. Please."

I feel his pain as he nods solemnly and turns away.

"Why did he have to hurt me again?" I cry, and I feel her start as well.

"I'm so sorry baby, I'm sorry we couldn't protect you. I wish I could take your pain. But it's over now, I promise. I promise."

She rocks me back and forth like a baby and sadly it is comforting.
After a few minutes we both calm down. I still shake but not nearly as badly.

She helps me stand up. "Do you want to come stay with me?"

I nod.

"Alright. Let's go."

We walk to the car as everyone in the room falls silent. My family's eyes solely on me.

We drive to Beckett's loft, the only sound is me sniffling in the back seat. I close my eyes and wait for us to get there.

When we do, she helps me out of the car and into the apartment.

I lean on her, the emotional day getting to me.

It's really cold in here, at least for me anyways because I have no body fat and I'm wearing a dress with thin strapsand isn't very long. Goosebumps cover my arms.

I try to ignore it, but Beckett notices.

"Come here."

I follow her into her bedroom and she hands me warm pajamas but heck I'm so tired I don't know if I can put them on by myself.

She places a hand on my shoulder, silently asking if it's okay to help me undress. I nod, too exhausted to care if she sees my scars.

She lowers the straps and the dress falls to the floor as I step out of it.

I am left with only underwear and a bra. And I honestly don't care.

But she does.

Her eyes find the the ugly white scars running across my stomach and thighs and though they are fading, they are still visible.

"Samantha," she whispers, "why didn't you tell me? And why these words? None of them are true."

"Beckett I'm sorry. I couldn't tell you." I say apologetically.

"Don't pull that crap with me! You know that I would have listened. Look at me, I know it hurts. But doing this isn't the answer. It may make you feel something again, but trust me, in the end it's not worth it. My dad almost died after my mom did because he didn't think he could talk to anybody. He became an alcoholic, and I stopped him. I lost my mom, I lost my dad for awhile, I lost Montgomery, I can't lose you too." She takes a deep breath before continuing. "Promise me something. Promise me I will never be called to a scene and find your body. Don't do that to me. I don't think you understand what that would do to me."

"I can't promise you anything. Who knows what Tyson will do to me if he gets me again? And I am not strong Beckett. I'm not you. I can't keep doing this. If I died, you would get over it. You would move on."

She stares at me for a second, taken aback by my words.

Her eyes start to water.

"Baby, it makes me so sad you would think that. I love you so much. We all think of you like a daughter and though Ryan won't say it to my face, he doesn't want me to take you. We all want you. If you died, I'd be so depressed. I would never forget you, and I wouldn't move on. It would leave another scar on my heart. You are my daughter Samantha. Look," she points to the bullet wound on my chest. "I have the same one." She pulls down her shirt for me to see. "That makes you strong. And these," she takes my wrist in her hand, "these make you unbreakable. We all have scars. We all have bad memories that torture us endlessly. But that's what makes you perfect. You have a story that's still being written, so please don't put down the pen."