Castle's partner

Pure Luck

"Espo how'd you find us anyways?"

"After the storm started, Beckett called us and told us you were stuck out there, and we all went looking. Then my phone went dead. It was pure luck."

"Well, thank you, again."

"Alright, we'll wait here until the storm is over. I don't want anyone getting lost in this."

I make my way to the break room, and Ryan follows me.

"Hey. You okay?" He asks.

"Fine."

He takes a step closer to me and hugs me, and I gasp, having a sudden flashback.

He pulls away, and I can see the hurt.

Then my senses overcome me, and I realize it's just Ryan.

"Ryan, I'm so sorry."

"I'm hurting you."

I grab his hand. "No! No it's not you, you're not hurting me."

"That's the second time today Samantha! I am!"

He shrugs away and turns.

"Ryan, please."

But he keeps walking, and I stare after him in horror.

He thinks he's hurting me. And it's my fault.

I sink to the ground and hug my knees, rocking back and forth while crying.

"Woah, what happened?" Oliver comes in and sits with me, hugging me tightly. He strokes my hair and whispers soothingly. "Ssh, ssh it's okay."

Slowly my cries turn to silent tears, and he wipes them away with his thumb.

I lean against his chest. "What happened?"

"Ryan hugged me and I had a flashback, and he thought he was hurting me. But he's not, and it's my fault."

"It's not your fault. And Ryan's just worried he's the reason you're having the flashbacks. He cares, he doesn't want to see you hurt."

"But now he's mad."

"He's not mad, he's scared, and scared of himself, not you."

"What if-"

"Enough, you need to get some rest."

He places a hand on my forehead and frowns. "You're still hot. I'm gonna ask Lanie to take your temperature again."

"Oliver I'm fine."

But by the time the words tumble from my mouth, he's gone.

He comes back with Lanie, who also places a hand on my forehead.

"It feels like it's going up instead of down, are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine."

She takes my temperature again, and it has increased.

"Baby girl, I need an honest answer. Are you feeling sick at all?"

I open my mouth to answer no, and then hesitate. "I'm tired. I feel like crap I'm not gonna lie but I'm not sure if it's my body being sick or my head."

"Honey, your mind can make your body sick, especially after everything you've been through today."

She gently runs a finger over the bruise on my neck.

"Sleep until the storm's over, we'll still be here I promise."

"Lanie, please no."

"It's not a suggestion. Look at what this stress is doing to you. You don't sleep, and when you do it's for long periods of time and that's really unhealthy!" She sighs. "If you won't do it for yourself, do it for me. Please?"

Ooh the guilt card. Works on me every time.

I sigh dramatically and lay on the couch. She gets out a pillow and a blanket and gives them to me. I turn away and close my eyes.

"I love you," says Lanie, before she leaves.

I feel Oliver's lips on my cheek and I blush. "I love you too. Now try and get some rest. We're worried about you."

He starts to leave, and I stop him.
"Oliver?"

I fly into his arms. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

Though I don't say what for, he knows.

"It's okay. Look at me a sec."

I let go and raise my eyes to meet his blue ones.

"I know you're goingt through a lot, and I'm right here. I'm here for you. So please, please stop hurting yourself."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You cut when you have nightmares, and you have nightmares after bad things happen."

"I'm not going to-"

"Give me your blade."

"I don't have one I gave them to Ryan."

"I know you have one in your jacket, you keep it there. I feel it every time I hug you."

I stare at him. How did he know it's a blade?

He reaches into my jacket pocket and I pull away.

"No Oliver."

"Samantha, give it to me. Now."

"No Oliver, I need it."

"No you won't. Give it to me or I'll tell them you have it."

Seeing my defeat, he again reaches into my pocket, and I let him take it.

He turns it over in his fingers.

I glare at him. "Oliver-"

"I'm telling them, they need to know."

"They need to know I carry around a blade? So I can hurt them even more?"

"So they know you're still struggling with this!"

"They already know Oliver!"

Silently, he puts the blade in his pocket.

"Go to sleep. We'll wake you up when the storm's over."

I know this is a battle I'm not going to win, so I listen to him.

I curl up on the couch, and wait for the storm to pass.