Castle's partner

You Remember

"I love you, and I miss you. You haven't woken up yet and it's been two weeks. I don't know if you ever will but I hope you do, and I hope it's soon."

I look at her, and I mean really look at her. She looks so tired. Tired of fighting like Oliver said. Tired of being in pain. I just want to see her smile again, and hear her laugh. I want to be outsmarted by her on cases and watch the excitement in her eyes as we pull up to a new crime scene.

I bite my lip as I try to hold back tears, but it doesn't work.

Within seconds I'm blubbering like a baby. I put my head in my hands and let out everything I've kept in.

"God you're acting like someone's dying or something." Comes a voice.

Is it...

I look up, and Ross is ever so slightly sitting up. She has a smug grin on her face, and struggles to keep her eyes open.

"Oh my God you're awake!"

I throw myself at her, hugging her like I haven't seen her in years, which is what it feels like.

I continue to cry as I hold her in my arms. I feel her small hands just below my neck, and she buries her face in my chest.

"I love you so much. I don't know what we would have done without you. I've missed you."
I kiss her forehead, and she smiles her genuine smile.

"Is Beckett ok?"

"You've been in a coma for two weeks and that's the first thing you ask?"

She shrugs.

"She's fine, other than the anxiety you've been giving her."

"I tried Ryan I really did."

I frown. "Tried what?"

"To wake up. Was it really two weeks?"

"Yes, but it seemed like so much longer. You do realize it's not your fault?"

"I know, I just wish I didn't have to cause you guys all that pain, especially Oliver."

"Wait, you remember Oliver being here?"

"I remember a lot of what happened. When people are in comas, they are still able to hear and process thoughts."

"That's crazy! I didn't know that."

She nods. "Ryan I'm tired. Will you stay with me?"

"Yeah lemme text Jenny and the rest of the team that you're not-"

I abruptly cut myself off.

"Dead. It's ok, you can say it."

I sigh.

I take out my phone and start texting, and then put it away again before I can read what they reply.

She moves over to make room for me in the bed. I lay down next to her, careful not to touch her in case she's sore.

Instead of turning away like she usually does, she stays by my side.

It goes quiet, but her soft voice breaks the silence.

"Did you know you can still have nightmares in a coma?"

I start to respond, and then realize nothing I say will help.

She turns on her side towards me and places her hand on my chest.

"You're not dead." She lets out a sigh that sounds like a sob. "I'm not dead."

I clasp my hand over hers.

"It's ok."

I feel her relax and her breath steadies.

"I love you."

"I love you too Uncle Ryan. Please don't go anywhere."

"I'm not. I'll be here when you wake up."

She glances up at me and tries to hide the fear in her eyes, but I can see right past her thin veil.

What were her nightmares about that were so bad they're causing her to be afraid now?

"Close your eyes."

She gives me a look that seems to be half amusement and half exhaustion.

To my surprise she doesn't argue.
Without taking her hand off my chest she closes her eyes, and I feel her fall asleep within minutes.