Castle's partner

Familiar Faces

Ross pov.

I am sitting here alone with Castle, just talking about nothing in particular.

Espo walks in, and I know my face lights up. He sits next to Castle.

"Hey," he says cautiously.

"Hey Espo. You got here fast."

His leg starts bouncing.

"I never left. I was afraid you wouldn't wake up if I did."

I take his hand.

"Espo..."

"I'm just gonna go..." Castle says and walks out.

His hand trembles in mine.

"It's my fault you're like this, in so much pain. I should be the one in that bed, not you."

"That's not true. Please stop saying that, it makes me feel worse."

"I caused you so much pain."

"Espo! Do NOT make me feel worse than I already do. It's not your fault, and I think my opinion is the only one you should care about right now!"

A tear escapes his eye.

"I know. I just-I keep seeing you dying in front of me and it's not fair. Why does it have to be you?"

His question is very deep, and I don't know how to answer it.

I decide answering his question with another question should be the right response.

"You know what I once asked someone? I asked 'why do the best people always die.' You know what they told me? They said, 'in a garden, which flowers do you pick?' Espo, what flowers do you pick?"

He shrugs his shoulders.

"The most beautiful ones?"

I give him a sad smile.

"Now do you understand?"

He closes his eyes, bringing my hand to his lips.

"I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too."

-----------------------------------------------------

Soon the familiar faces of the precinct family start flooding in, each of them telling me they are happy to see me awake, and they will keep visiting.

Ryan's eyes seem the saddest.

"I wish I had been there."

"I'm glad you weren't. You would have seen your worst nightmare come to life."

"I could have been there to comfort you. Those could have been your-your last moments."

"But they weren't. Ryan, remember, I'm still here?"

I ask, referring to what I said after his nightmare about me killing myself.

He nods.

I place my hand softly against his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat.

He encases my hand with his.

His voice breaks as he speaks.

"Please don't leave us. Please don't leave me."

"Never. I love you."

"I love you too."

He hugs me, in a way only he could.

I close my eyes after the sleepiness sets in.

And for the first time in a long time, I feel like nothing can hurt me.