Castle's partner

Dragon Slayer

I wake up with a blanket over me. I am in the break room still, but I am alone. I look at the clock on the wall and it reads 6:37 pm. I sit up and fold the blanket and wander out of the room in search of anyone I know. I meander over to Beckett's desk. She's not there but I sit down in her chair anyways. I stare at the murder board that is always there when we work on a case. I didn't realize how much I missed it. I study it for a few minutes.
It seems fairly obvious to me what happened. This dude was sick by the looks of it. His face was thinning and he tried to hide the circles under his eyes. His hairline was receding at a fairly young age, indicating cancer. He looks like my mom did.
It seems like his caretaker killed him. Growing close to him. Close enough to write him into the will, and then to kill him. Maybe he needed quick money. The caretaker was into some bad stuff. I am wondering if Beckett checked him out or not when she walks in with Castle, Espo and Ryan. They are each carrying a bag of what looks like Chinese takeout. Like always. They walk into the break room expecting to see me but don't, and I see Ryan's head pop out the door. He looks at me and then sticks his head back in. He says something and the gang follows him to where I am.
"Hey" he says.
"Hey. I figured out who murdered him," I say as I point to the board.
I tell them my theory, and Beckett sends Ryan and Espo to go pick him up. Twenty minutes later he is in the box and I am in the observation room with Beckett and Castle. After five minutes, my uncles get a confession out of him. I smile inwardly as Ryan hands him a notepad and pen so he can sign his confession.
Castle pats me on the back.
"Good job." We all walk to the break room. Beckett starts handing out the now room-temperature food. She hands me a paper plate, and I realize I am actually hungry. I then remember how long it's been since I've eaten.
I put a few pieces of orange chicken on my plate, and one potsticker. I eat and I am full. Kind of. I stand up to throw my plate in the trash.
"That's it? That's all you're eating?" Espo questions with a disapproving look on his face.
"Yeah. I'm not hungry."
"You haven't eaten much at all. That's not good for you. You can't punish yourself Ross." Says Castle.
"I know I'm just not hungry. I'm fine trust me."
The air goes silent, and I know that was the wrong thing to say.
"Ross can I talk you for a sec?" Asks Beckett.
I nod, and follow her to her desk.
"Sit down." She gestures to her chair.
Oh no. That is never good.
"Why aren't you eating?"
"What? I just told you why. I'm not hungry. And I did eat."
"You're lying. I can tell."
"Beckett I'm not lying."
"Yes you are."She gets close to my face and puts her hands on my knees.
"If I find out that you stop eating, I will personally put you in the hospital and force feed you myself. Understood?"
I grit my teeth and nod.
"Good." She starts to turn around, but thinks better of it.
"I'm sorry. I can't see you get hurt again. I know what it's like. I really do. Trust me. I've seen dead bodies of people who were anorexic. I've seen dead bodies of people who were bulimic. It's not worth it. I promise you. But will you promise me something?"
I nod again.
"If you ever, get the urge to self-harm, you tell me. Promise?"
I swallow hard. "Yes."
"Ok. I love you." She walks back into the break room, but I am still glued to the chair.
I just lied to Beckett. I can't do that. I can't tell her if I need to cut. She can't find out I have urges because then she will know I cut. I don't know what to do, so I start walking. I walk back to Castles apartment. There is a package waiting by the door with my name on it. I go inside and open the package. I find my single bag of luggage and underneath is something I never thought I would see again.
I take out my violin case and unzip it. I pull out my bow and rosin it, and make sure the violin is tuned.
I start out rusty, but soon the notes come flooding back to me and I have a song forming fast and hard. It sounds beautiful. It is my favorite piece called Dragon Slayer. I repeat it a few times, and then I stop.
"Sounded beautiful."
I jump where I am standing and turn around to see Castle, Alexis, and Martha standing there watching me. I can feel myself blushing.
"Sorry didnt mean to scare you" says Alexis.
"Oh you didn't. But thank you. I haven't played in awhile."
I quickly pack up everything and bring it to my temporary room. I set my case down in the corner of my room. Someone knocks on the door softly.
"Come in."
Castle walks in and sits on the bed next to me.
"I didn't know you played. You are really good."
"Thanks." I say still blushing.
Castle takes my hand. I am suddenly tired and I rest my head against his shoulder.
"How you doing?"
"Ok. Just tired."
"Ok bedtime!"
I sit up and look at the clock.
"Castle it's like 8."
"Yep. And bedtime! Change and get in bed."
I glare at him but stand up and grab my clothes. I walk into the bathroom, change, and brush my teeth. I walk back into the guest room and Castle is still there, but he is leaning against the wall. I get in bed. He sits down in the chair at the desk.
"Castle you don't need to wait with me."
"I don't want you to have a bad dream."
"I won't. It's ok. Please go to bed."
He sighs and squinted his eyes at me.
"Fine. But you have to tell me if you have a bad dream ok?"
"Ok."
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight. Thank you."
He walks out the door and turns off the light.
I lie awake in the bed for awhile, not wanting to go to sleep. I don't want to have a nightmare again. I finally become so tired I drift off. Knowing I'm going to have a bad dream.

I'm in the room. The man pushes my head under the water. But this time I don't fight. I exhale under the water pushing the air out of my lungs. I will myself to pass out, but before I can he pulls me out. I bear coughing to my left, and water splashing. I will myself to look, not knowing but expecting the horror I see. Ryan is under the water. I pull away from the man and run to him. Before I can touch him my captor grabs me and forces me to my knees. He forces me to watch as Ryan is tortured. He isn't screaming, but instead making sarcastic comments.
"You know I went to Catholic school. This is what they did to us for talking in class. This is nothing."
"Ryan! Ryan! Stop! Take me instead! Please. Please." The man holding Ryan stops and looks at me. He lets go of Ryan who stands up and runs in front of me, trying to shield my body. The man punches Ryan in the stomach, who crumples to the ground unable to breathe. He steps over Ryan's body and drags me towards the bucket. With my head thrust under, I close my eyes to block out Ryan's screams.
"STOP!"

I sit up in bed. I am shaking like a leaf. I am covered in sweat. I look at the clock and it reads 4:19 am. I sigh. I know I won't go back to sleep. I get out of bed and take a shower. I get ready to leave, and I write a note to Castle saying I left. I walk out the door and walk to the precinct. By the time I let myself in with my key, it is almost six O' clock. I take the stairs and walk to Beckett's desk. Waiting for a call to come in, saying someone found a dead body.