Asymptotic

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Before, I always wonder what's more painful. Losing someone you love and never saw them again, or seeing someone you love fell for another. I used to ask my friends about it. And their answers were split.

Losing someone you love and never see them again, said Rosie. "I would rather accept the fact that the one I love is happy with someone else and not me. Instead of losing them for eternity" it was her exact words.

Seeing him/her fall in love with someone else, Jisoo choose. "I mean, imagine having that person around but at the same time can never be yours? It would only kill you once, but thousands of time" she persuade. Nothing of the two is wrong, it the matter of understanding. Both points made sense, both causes pain.

However what will add more weight to it is when you include "what if you both love each other." If that would be attached to both sentences, then for me the more painful one is having that person near but out of reach. Because that kind of regret will never be the same with the situation where the person is long gone. For the reason that his/her disappearance will give you confirmation that it will only be you.

Unlike when you have no chance with the person eventhough they're around. You'll love from far away, daydreaming of what could have been if that person chooses you. Jisoo was right that it would tore you over and over. An infinity cycle of tears and hopelessness.

Now, 7 years after I still have the same answer. Destiny showed and told me an asymtotic love story. Where two main characters approaches a curve but never touches. Where happy endings are some form of illicit. Lisa, she was the person who made me open my eyes to the world. I was at zero level at that point when she helped and guided me to a different path. A much wiser and better choice. She stayed, for a while.

Joining me through a long drive journey. I was cozened by her positive personality, she became the cynosure of my world. We both created our beginning, our plot...but unfortunately I was alone marking the end of it. Lisa wasn't for me, she is too much for me. And I deserve nothing but the less. Despite all the uplifting, I fell for her. Something that I shouldn't do. Because she doesn't feel the same. She loves me, but the not the way I love her.

She loved me because I was needed to be loved. And I loved her because she's the best thing I ever had. I pushed her away, and just like what I said, destiny gave an asymptotic story. Where the final chapter finishes with a tear.

Our last meeting was at a public park. I was the first one to see her. And I felt a lump choking me when I saw a man kissing my favorite pair of lips. She noticed me afterwards, and broke my heart by making it clear that she already forgot the love she used to have for me ...and ended up falling for someone else.

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