Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Everything is happier with Lisa, that includes me. Never I have thought to deserve such an incredible person. Lisa was my night and shining armour, she protects me from harm. Always there to give hope and future. My young self years back knew I love her. Maybe I didn't realized that it was not a plantonic kind, sooner. Atleast I had, and it brought colors to my empty and dull life.
We witnessed each other's growth. Practically we're twins. I know everything about her, she knew everything about me. We're vocal about our feelings, our thoughts, our dreams. We cure each other's wounds. We love each other's imperfections.
Loving Lisa is both the easiest and hardest thing to do. There is no escape in falling for her, the rush of waters will drive you to the edge of the falls. And it will drop you far and deep. However, at some point you'll reach where the tides and waves are huge enough to knock you down. It will drown you slowly, it will kill you eventually.
Falling in love and staying in love is two different things. Falling for someone will be unexpected, but leaving someone is a choice. In Lisa and I's story, it's much more complicated. We we're both holding unto something that is no longer there. And we're cluless what's the true reason why we aren't letting go.
"Your memories" said our parents
"Your pride and ego" said our friends
None of the two I believed, none of the two fits right. Since then the question remained unsolved. Not until we found out the answer ourselves.
"I still love you, but not the same as before" She mumbled under breath, it past by like the wind.
"I love you, but it's not enough for us to last." I lied. I lied to convince myself that I felt the same way. I lied, for her not to think that she hurt me so damn good. I love her, I love her the same way I love her since we were 18. That gave her relief, a thought that the both of us are responsible for this failing relastionship.
"I can't stay with you anymore. I... fell in love with someon else. And it kills me whenever I go home and sleep with you. I'm sorry" her salty tears made me tear up too.
I know, I have watched myself losing her. I do grasp her hand anymore. I smiled painfully. Look at that, we're both falling. Me to her, she to another.
"You don't need to apologize. Because you're not the only one" Every word was poison to my blood, lies. You're the only one, you will always be my only one.
"I don't deserve you jen" there it is, the line I've been waiting. It the exact cue before it ends.
"We don't deserve each other" I replied, sucked it Jennie. She isn't the Lisa you loved! She is leaving you! There's no more goodmorning kisses, no more late night dates, no more I love you's, no more random jokes, so and so on. I refused to screamed it at her face.
She stood up, I closed my eyes preparing for her to vanish. But I felt her warm and cozy hands holding my face, as if I'm the most fragile thing she have ever held. She made me look at her. It broke me that her eyes tells she doesn't want to leave but there's no more reason to stay either. I found her hands and molded it with mine, I smiled savouring her feathery skin.
The next thing, her lips crashed on me. I felt goodbye. I kissed her back with the same intensity. I can taste out mixed tears of grief, for our dying love affair. A romace that will end tragically. Her dominant side emerged, hee tongue fighting with my submissive one. She laid me on the cold matress. Hovering me on top, she's touching me like if its her last.
Because it is, that night seems to be forever. I woke up without her beside me. Clothes and personal things gone. She left a note on the side table, the lamp still open illuminated the pen's ink.
"You will always be my first in everything. Be the happiest without me. Until our stars alinged again, Jennie."
-Your Lili
Crumpling the bedsheet I covered my naked body from the crwaling sunlight. I sob the whole time, it's the first sunrise without her. And many more to come. Years had passed since that. I'm aware about her life. We once saw each other at a museum. We didn't talk, but we gave one another smiles and small wave.
Lisa was my everything, and I'm once was hers.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
