Songs For The Soul (Jenlisa Oneshots)

I was

I was 7 years old when I asked my mother what love is. It was after seeing him and father kissed. "It is what two people deeply feel for one another" she said. "So I can love too?" My eyes shone, reflecting my mother's. "Ofcourse, when you grew up, you'll find someone to love. You'll treasure that person and would do anything for them". Her words convinced me, it inspired me till today.

I was 14 years old when I had my first crush, his name is Caleb, from next door. A neighboor who casual ask me to play outside. We got along pretty well, his soft features and friendly smile made me like him. But that didn't last long. Highschool is another different story, it's where the thrills begun occuring.

Mathematics made my life miserable, one task is equivalent to one suffering. I was a total wreck in that subject. I've been kicked out from class three times, because I either dooze off to sleep, or blakly stare at the equation written on the board. And my free falling grades made my teacher call the attention of my beloved parents. "We think a tutor would help her" Ms. Anderson suggested. Dad was dissapointed, so as Mom. Nevertheless they followed what have said.

"Are you my tutor?" My brow arched, a girl same age as mine looks confused. She has this dark hair and big doe eyes. "Hello!?" I waved my hands at her. She shook her head and step aside, giving me more room to walk.

"No, My brother is your tutor" her head hanged low. I saw her biting her lower lip while fiddling with her fingers. She seems nice but awkward. "Hey, My name is V" A taller person appeared, a boyish smile and curly haired guy. I bet she's the brother she's talking about. "I'm your tutor" I nodded and shook his hand. It was warm, but rough. "This is my sister Lisa" He placed her hands over the girl's shoulders and made her face me. "Hi" she whispered, but enough for me to hear.

"I'm Jennie" I said, handing out a hand of her. She first glance in my eyes before greeting back. It was warm, and soft the very opposite of her brother. Every afternoon I'll head to their house, I learned a lot of things. Not only for my mathematics subject but about the two siblings. V is 4 years older than Lisa, that explains the maturity of his appearance and attitude. Lisa rarely join us, not that I'm seeking for her attention, it's just I noticed how aloof she is.

"Mom baked cookies..." a smile formed in my lips. The first time she initiated a talk, I hope this will be an long conversation. "Can I try some?" I respectfully asked, pointing at the freshly baked cookies. She bob her head, I gladly grab one and bite it. My face lit up, "this is delicious!" I praised, the cookie still in my mouth, making my cheeks fluffed. A saw the side of her lips tugged up. "You should eat more" she gently pushed the plate towards me.

"How about you?" I questioned, my head tilted up finding her shy gaze. "I can have the next batch" she said. "I can't finish this many, you should help me" as if she didn't understand what I've said as she stays in her position. "Lisa" I called. "Sit beside me and let's eat this batch together, cookies are much yummier if it's hot." I blabbed. Her shoes barely move an inch, to make her seat I stood up and pulled her with me.

"Are you afraid of me?" I conciously asked, because she's always like this around me. "No..." she uttered. "Then why aren't you talking to me?" I said sadly. I really want to befriend her. "I want too, but I don't know what to say" she admit, scratching the back of her beck. Hiding her unsettled iris beneath her bangs.

"Lisa, can you promise me one thing?"

"What is it?"

"You'lll me everything you wanted to tell"

______

I was 15 when I became bestfriends with her. And I was right when I said she's nice. She's very interesting too. She loves the things I thought was weird. She hates the things I thought was amazing. I love rock music, while she loves country music. I love pineapple on pizza, she dislikes it. I find skateboards cool, she finds it dangerous. I love the city, the tall buldings and blaring horns. She loves the beach, farm, fields and it's quitness. I hate heights, it frightens me. She loves it, it makes her feel free.

Our differences doesn't make us enemies. Instead it brought us closer. What I admire about our friendship is how we comprised. How we understand each other even without speaking. We're comfortable and delightful whenever it was the two of us. Others always say we have our own world, and we do.

I was 19 when I confessed. It was friday afternoon while we're eating lunch at the cafeteria. She was busy talking about this new friend she found in her english drama club, I felt jelouse when she mentioned how close they're. "I love you" she dropped her fork, her lips parted and her salad left unfinished. The bravely looked up to her, only to see the blush on her face, the thick rim of her glasses and eyes widen in shock. "I love you more than a friend should do." I added, adter a minute her eyes diverted away from me.

"I don't feel the same" my heart flipped. At that very moment I want the ground to swallow me. What did I do? Wrong move Kim, I said to myself. Lisa's chair moved back, I flinched. Tears forming on the side of my eyes, hands trembling in fear. "I'm sorry" we both said in unison. Same words, meant to bring different intentions. From that day on, Lisa became distant. Other than that, she changed. Every night she's out to drink, every night she brings someone home. Everytime I try to confront her, everytime she rejects me.

I was 20 when I waa diagnose wih Cardiomyopathy, or the coronary artery deseas. It weakens the muscles of my heart. And it was bad, so bad it made me cried because I can't accept that I was dying. All I could think that time is I haven't made up with my bestfriend. I have dreams to furfill, and who will be there for my parents.

For months I stayed at the hospital, no one know besides a few friends, mom and dad. "Don't tell Lisa" I said. I don't want her to feel guilty for avoiding me. I could have an heart attack anytime soon and die. It would be useless, her being away is better. She can forget about me easily. But that request wasn't granted. As I woke up my tired eyes from sleeping I was welcomed by her sobbing agaisnt my hands. She was holding me like I would dissapear.

"Lis-" my voice horsed, I was too weak to call her properly. Her glassy doe eyes darted at me. She quickly went near me and I felt her lips pressed on my forhead. Oh the things I will do to have this everyday. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She cried while hugging me. I failed to prevent my tears from falling, it hurts so good. I felt compelete after a long time.

"I love y-" My face distorted the same as her voice as I begun to roar in pain, heavy, suffocating, it strangles me. My breath hitched, I can hear my surroundings moving in a quick phase. My vision blurred, my heart clenching. A little I can see her crying, her shouts seems a bit unaudible for me. "No no, Jennie. I love you. Don't go please don't go!" She wailed. I heard she was pushed outside. Then everything went black.

Dizzeness, my world spins around as the white walls wiggles in front of me. I held my head, my nose crunched up. I felt hands helping me to sit. When my eyes slowly adapt, I searched for the people. My mother immediately embraced me, she's crying on my shoulder. My father covering up his mouth, stifling his cries. My friend Jisoo and Rosè on the corner hugging each other. Am I dreaming? Hallucinating that I'm still alive?

"Mom...what happened" my dry throat croaked.

"You had cardiac arrest...we almost lost you" she stuttered.

"Lisa was here earlier... she was the one who called the doctors. We should thank her.." I said to my Mom and she was nodding at me. She smiled and kissed my cheeks lovingly.

"Honey, can you hold mommy's hand?" My forhead ceased but did it anyways.

"After you recover hm? Your wounds are still flesh" My mother said. Wounds???

"What wounds?" I ask, she bit her lip before looking back at my dad. He bob his head, Mom faced me again and pointed at my chest.

"You've been operated...you're free from the deseas." She smiled...but something's telling me off. They found a donor at the same time I had a heart attack, but they can't find one when I'm still good.

"How? Who donated?" I looked confused. Looking back at my parents and friends. The quietness scared me. I must be wrong, she wouldn't do that!

"Mom?" I murmured, tears flowing down my face. My body shivered, as I clutched my hospital gown.

"I'm sorry...." I broke down.

"LISA!!!"

I was 21 when she saved me, I was also 21 when I lost the love of my life.