no matter what decision your heart makes, I will be waiting for you...

Part 33

Sitting on my bed, I could still hear the mumbles from down the corridor. My chest rose with every heavy breath I took. I don't know how Tom feels, what his feelings are towards me or his feelings towards the girl he told me he broke up with, but either way a tear slipped down my cheek. I couldn't control it, it just came as I stared at my baby blue wall. At that moment my door opened and I sobbed, quickly wiping away my tear. I wanted Tom to stand behind the door, to tell me that this is just a dream, but it wasn't like that. The door opened all the way, revealing my brother with a look I couldn't quite read.
"Hey..." I greeted him, doing my best not to sound shaky or show my teary eyes. I just smiled softly.
"You want to tell me what that was in the washroom? what were you two doing in there? and I want to know the truth Y/N." He closes the door behind him, making loud footsteps towards my bed.
"Harrison, there was nothing going on. I just wanted to start a machine but I couldn't reach the detergent. So Tom was kind enough to get it down for me. I promise" I felt bad for lying, I admit, but what else could I have said?
Harrison thought about it, after a few seconds of staring at the floor he nodded. He tried to believe it and kept telling himself, partly because he trusts me, or at least wants to trust me, and partly because he only wants to hear what his ears like. Meaning if he thought there was something between Tom and me, he would get angry, probably even attack Tom like he did back then. But if I let him believe that there is nothing between us, then nothing will happen. Right? And so it was like that now, of course he knows what he saw. He will certainly continue to question everything but he didn't want to hear it, he wasn't ready to hear it yet.
"Promise me !" he said, more like a demand.
"What?" I asked confused. He held his little finger out like we used to do when we were kids, making a promise to eachother.
"Promise me that there is nothing going on between you and Tom, and there never will be." I let out a pathetic laugh. I can't do that... I don't want to.
"Harrison you are acting childish right now" I tried to persuade him, but he remained standing in front of me with a stern face.
"Promise me, that there is nothing going on between you and Tom, and there never will be." he repeated again in a serious tone, if not even a little sterner. With a long groan I nod. He doesn't need to know the truth...
"yeah okay, I promise that there is nothing going on between Tom and me"
"ehem" someone cleared his throat. It wasn't Harrison, so it could only be.... Tom.
And there he stood, in the doorway of my room, his arms folded across his chest, his gaze fixed on me in confusion. Angry confusion, painful confusion, sad confusion... All the emotions were in his eyes as his chest rose and fell from his hard breathing.
"Hey... I don't want to interrupt your little conversation but" He kept eye contact with me, at least until now, but now he turned his attention to Harrison. "Cassie is hungry" he said. "I wanted to ask if we wanted to order food..." he finished the sentence and looked at me again with that strange confused face.
"Gladly. Y/N and I had just finished talking anyway, hadn't we Y/N?" Harrison asks as he gets up from my bed and looks down at me. I narrowed my eyes briefly as I tried to read Tom's thoughts, but gave up, shook my head and looked up at my brother.
"yeah..." I answered with a low voice.
"Okay... well great ! yeah great..." Tom spoke up, lowering his voice mid-sentence. Harrison nodded at us before walking past Tom out of the room. Tom, however, remained standing in the doorway and kept his evil eye on me.
"you coming?" Hazza yelled.
"yeh yeh, just give us a minute" Tom said without losing eye contact. He took a step forward and closed the door with his foot, made it slam shut.
"there is nothing between us?" he asks as he comes towards me. Each step became heavier and heavier until he stopped right in front of me. His crotch on my eye level, as if I had nothing else to look at, I also looked right at it. His index finger came under my chin, gently lifting it up to him until his black eyes pierced mine. "Just 10 minutes ago I fucked you in the washroom and you say there's nothing between us?" he asks, stroking my chin with his thumb.
"Sorry, I guess I forgot about that when I watched you kissing your girlfriend" I replied bitchily. He knelt in front of me, one knee on the floor, the other supporting his elbow while he held my chin with his hand.
"Look, I don't know why she's here, I broke up with her too.... somewhere. And I can't exactly break up with her in front of your brother, can I?" he asked and I shook my head "Just give me some time, okay? After dinner, I'll take her to my room and tell her it's over." he explained in the sweetest voice ever.
"you will?" I asked in a whisper. He nodded softly.
"of course, nothing can change the way I feel about you Y/N" And at these words my heart melted. I smiled warmly at him, put my hand on the back of his head and gave him a delicate kiss on the lips. When I pulled away again, his eyes opened. A smile also plastered on his lips.
"Let's go order, okay?" his soft words asked. I nodded sweetly. He took my hand gently in his, stood up and waited until I stood up too. His fingers brushed over my palm as we made our way out of my room. Only when we arrived in the living room did his fingertips let go of my hand and it felt cold again. I was still standing behind Tom when Harrison poured himself a cup of tea in the kitchen and Cassie was probably in Tom's room, unpacking her suitcase.
"So, cassie has asked for Vietnamese. Are you OK with that?" Harrison asks, bringing the hot cup of tea to his lips.
"yes sure, whatever she wishes for" Tom answers for the both of us.
"OK, I invited Jenna too. As a little reunion, you know" We nodded. Jenna and Cassie never had much to do with each other. Sure, they met once or twice when they were both here or when we went out for dinner, but I don't think they are the closest of friends. I don't even think Jenna really likes Cassie that much. How shall I put it, Cassie's usually a little... specific. 'I ordered a caffe mocha, not a caffe macchiato' and believe me, she ordered a caffe macchiato! And while she was arguing with the waitress, Jenna and I were exchanging our eye rolls, which we were suppressing the whole time.

Tom and I sat down on the couch, looked up menus on our phones to choose something to eat.
"I think I'll take the 32" I say, not looking off my phone.
"32?" Tom asks curiously with a chuckle that follows.
"What's so funny?" I ask with a fake pout and look up only to see him already staring at me.
"You don't even like grilled scampi." he answers. And he's right, I don't actually like them. But I want to try something new, since I usually only ever have the duck with peanut sauce anyway, so why not give things a second chance. Also, I last ate them when I was 15, I certainly like them now.
"hey, you don't like them either. And who knows, maybe I like them now" I say with a cocky smile.
"Allright, I'll take the 41" 41, the number I always take, but of course. Well, he leaves me no choice but to throw a pillow on him.
"Heyy!!!! what was that for?" he asks after the pillow has landed perfectly in his face.
"you know that's my number, you hate peanut sauce anyway!!!" I fight, pouting. Now I want 41 again...
"like you just said, maybe I like it now" he answers with the same cocky smile on his lips that was plastered on my lips only seconds ago. I roll my eyes again with my red cheeks and my big stupid smile on my lips before my eyes land on Harrison who has been watching everything from the kitchen. When I catch him, however, he quickly looks away, then goes into his room as if he has seen nothing.
"I think he knows Tom..." I sigh and look over at Tom, who also saw everything.
"I know..." he replies in a sigh, just like me. My eyes travel down to my hands which are nervously playing with each other, not noticing how he approaches me. It was only when his finger lifted my chin a little and my eyes met his that I noticed him.
"but hey, maybe it's for the best. Once I break up with Cassie for the second time, we could tell him about us. Don't you think?" he asks while his eyes twitch anxiously back and forth between my pupils.
"You mean as a real boyfriend and girlfriend?" I request, hope in my voice, as well as in my eyes, which literally sparkled up.
"like real boyfriend and girlfriend!" he whispers. He leaned even further forward if that was even possible. His thumb passed over my chin and his eyes closed. He wanted to kiss me and I wanted to kiss him, so I leaned in too. His lips brushing against mine bevor I kissed him.
"hey Baby-"