no matter what decision your heart makes, I will be waiting for you...

Part 44

No, I can't!
My nerves couldn't take it.
I unbuckled my seatbelt and jumped up. It certainly drew attention to myself. Oliver, who was sitting next to me, also looked up at me in confusion, but my eyes were searching for the brown-haired man in the last row. And when I spotted one of his little curls behind all the seats, I started to squeeze through the rows.

"Ma'am, you need to sit down, the plane will take off any moment now" a stuardess wanted to explain, but I ignored her presence as I squeezed past her.
All heads suddenly looked over their seats to see what was going on between the rows, which is why there was suddenly unrest. Loud murmurs rang out from all corners. Everyone was staring at me, especially since I was one of the only women in the company, and therefore the only woman on the plane besides the stewardess.
"Pardon. Sorry. Excusé" I apologised to everyone I accidentally bumped into before the aisle was finally completely empty and I reached the last row of seats.

Tom's figure grew bigger and with each step I got a better view of his seated body.
When I finally stood next to him and got a full look at him, I first noticed how dejected he was sitting alone in his row right by the window. Earplugs in, his headphones were blasting a full blast of music into his ears to which his head was nodding to the beat and his eyes were focused on the floor. In the same way, his right foot tapped the floor every two seconds to match the music.
"Tom!" I tried to get his attention. The eyes of the others long gone.
"Tom!" I tried again, but this time I shook his shoulder in the process, which immediately made him take an earplug out of his ear out of shock.
"What the- Y/N? what's up?" he asked me, sat up straight. His eyes immediately sparkled at my sight, glad to have someone to talk to.

Without asking, I sat down next to him and fastened my seat belt, cause otherwise I was sure that the stewardess would come back to tell me to please sit down.
Seriously, fuck off!

"Oh, nothing, I just... I didn't want you to be alone like that." Lie! I panicked and needed someone by my side who I was sure could calm me down, and Tom somehow seems to be the person who can have the effect of calming me down. Even though I don't like to admit it, I just needed his distraction.
"Oh uh.. Thanks?" He said, or asked? I don't know, I don't care.
I nodded with a smile and looked straight ahead at the plane's safety instructions, which were attached to every seat. Nevertheless, I felt Tom's gaze on me, which just wouldn't let me go.
"And Oliver's okay with you sitting with me?" He asked as if Oliver was my boyfriend from whom I needed permission.
"duh! it was even his idea for me to talk to yo- I mean i'm sure he's okay with that!" Tom gave me a puzzled look, definitely catched on to what I had said in the first sentence. Nevertheless, I was grateful when he didn't question it...

The plane started to shake a tiny bit, which meant that we were slowly taxiing to the runway for take-off, and that in turn made my inner panic take over my body. I closed my eyes and let my head fall into my neck. My palms began to sweat and my leg began to wiggle histerically the faster the plane went.
My nerves were going crazy. My hands were shaking more and more. The noises slowly began to subside, becoming quieter and quieter. And my eyes squeezed shut even more than they already did.
I wanted it to stop!!
My heart was racing so fast, I wanted it to stop!!

And then, I felt his hand in mine. He gripped it gently with his rough fingertips and intertwined our hands.
Immediately the sounds returned to normal and my eyes shot open. But I wasn't angry that he grabbed my hand, no. He soothed me as I had imagined. His dark eyes were already anxiously fixed on mine when I caught his gaze. Not only did I want my inner turmoil to stop, he wanted it too. And he succeeded.

His thumb started to stroke little circles on my soft finger skin, calming me in every possible way!
"Thank you!" I murmured. He blinked slowly with a smile tugged on his thin lips, just glad he could help.
Neither of us noticed that we were already in the air and our hands were still interlocked. But neither of us wanted to let go of the other's hand. It just felt too good and too right to let go now. So we kept our hands intertwined for a while.
Damn it, this boy really has me hooked.
It's like fishing.
All he sees is him throwing the bait into the sea and fishing the same poor fish over and over again, falling for the bait. But all I see is the bait right in front of my nose, and even though I know it's going to hurt, I keep falling for it.
But every time I have done it again, and let him catch me, I only hoped that this time it wouldn't hurt as much.

After a while, I began to occupy myself with something else. But with one hand it was difficult. I wanted to listen to music... but I couldn't reach my bag without looking stupid. Reading was just as hard. While I was trying to make a plan and my lip caught thoughtfully between my teeth, Tom noticed what I was thinking about. He took his left earplug and held it out to me.
"Here, listen with me." He offered with a smile. Of course I accepted his offer and put his second earplug in my ear. But instead of rock music, like I expected, there was now relaxing music, more for sleeping.
I think the song is called Rosyln.
I have only listened to it a few times, though.
But admittedly, it was the perfect music to just close my eyes and enjoy the moment.
But that was hard, because the only thing I could concentrate on were Tom's eyes, which just wouldn't leave our hands.
What was going on?
did he want to stop holding my hand?
was he getting uncomfortable?
should I take it away?
what was he thinking about?

~I think the next part will be Tom's pov, won't it?~