no matter what decision your heart makes, I will be waiting for you...

Part 39

"You want to move out?" he whispered in disbelief after a minute of silent staring. I nodded, not daring to stare into his eyes. A frown formed on his face and he also did everything to avoid meeting my gaze. It wasn't that I wanted to, I had to. And he knew it himself. I noticed it in the way he clenched his teeth and said nothing more.
"When will you move out?" He then asked, after another silent minute. His eyes stared into mine for the first time again, letting me see the tears he was holding back.
"As soon as possible I guess" I replied, whereupon he nodded and looked down at the floor again. His teeth began to chew on his lower lip, and his thoughts drifted away from the situation. His feelings irritate me though, it seems to bother him that I'm moving out, but then why did he choose Cassie? why not me? And now he is standing there, in front of me. Not saying anything.
So I let the silence fill the room again until he finally stood up straight and looked deep into my soul, now with tears in his eyes which he could no longer hold back.
"I really hope you'll be better off without me." he said with a single tear running down his right cheek before leaving my bathroom. I surely stood in the bathroom like a statue for another minute, only looking at the door with heavy eyes and broken heart.
I really hope you'll be better off without me...
These words cut deep, not gonna lie. Was he done with me? was that it? Was that his way of telling me he was officially finished with me? Because dear god, I am the one to be supposed to be done with him.
I didn't want to think about it much, so I tried to get back to other things, but it was hard to think straight after what he has said. I first put the first aid kid away again, and then went back to my previous plan of showing my brother the flats. I grabbed my laptop, which I had left on the edge of the sink, and made my way into the hallway, already seeing Tom and Cassie in the kitchen at the kitchen island. She was talking about something again while he held his hair with his left hand. His gaze was fixed on the cup of tea he was holding with his right hand. I tried not to draw attention to myself and kept my eyes on the floor as I made my way to Harrison who was sitting on the couch rummaging through the phone. Even though I was sure that Tom gave me a disgusted look at one point, I ignored him and sat down next to Harrison.  If that is how it would be again now, then be it to me. From enemies to lovers, and lovers to enemies again. That only makes it easier for me to move on. Right?
"Hey Harrison? I've been looking for a few flats and would like to hear your opinion about them. Do you have a minute?" He immediately put his phone aside and gave me his full attention with a nod of his head. But before I could even show him the first flat, I heard a chair bang against the kitchen island behind me, made me turn around. Of course it was Tom. He had stood up and knocked his chair aggressively against the kitchen island before he stomped off to his room, while Cassie just raised her eyebrows and batted her eyelashes a few times. She wanted to go after him, already stood up with her gaze towards his room door, but Harrison interrupted her in her steps.
"Better leave him alone for a while. He is a bit out of it at the moment and needs some rest." And Cassie paid attention to that. She put on her winter jacket, and then her shoes.
"I'm going to visit my parents for a while. Be back tonight" she said and left the flat. Instead of Harrison concentrating on my laptop because of the flats, he turned to me and gave me a questioningly look.
"what have you done?" he asked, making me raise my eyebrows.
I really hope you'll be better off without me... lingered in the back of my head.
"Nothing, I swear...." I tried to make him understand. He shook his head slightly, doesn't want anything to do with it.
"This is so fucked up" he sighed and looked at the first flat on my laptop. And I mean, he's right somewhere. It's fucked up, and I just don't know how it happened. And now that Harrison knows about Tom... it's kind of weird between us, but not just between us, also between him and Tom. There's a weird tension between all three of us at the moment. When I showed Harrison the flats, he seemed rather disinterested, and only mumbled a few words. He completely ignored Tom's presence, which I noticed when Tom walked past us to get another drink and Harrison just gave him a nasty look with his jaw clenched. It's like we're all mad at each other, no one talks to anyone anymore. Nevertheless, in the evening I called each of the 3 landlords who rented out the flats and asked for an appointment. All 3 of them even gave me one. My first appointment will be next week on Saturday, 6 days from now. My second and third, however, will be on Sunday, the first at 1:30pm and the second at 5pm. I hope the flats look like on the pictures, otherwise I'll have to keep looking. In addition, I plan to print out the exact data of the 3 flats again tomorrow at the company. Just as a perfect preparation, you know?

_________________

Next morning.
Same as every morning, I showered, got dressed and got ready. But today we didn't eat together at the table. I don't think Tom and Harrison even ate anything at all, and if I'm not mistaken, Cassie didn't even come back last night. Must have slept at her parents'.
And I swear, neither of us had said a word, and by now we've been driving for 10 minutes already. Maybe I should do the start for once, shouldn't I? I'm not really in the mood to talk to either of them, since I know Harrison is still pissed at me due the fact that Tom and I had a thing, and Tom seems to be completely ignoring me. However, I don't want their friendship to be ruined again because of me. I already did it back in highschool, and I don't want to experience it again.
I clear my throat since I surely still have a raspy morning voice.
"Any plans for today?" Is my question for the beginning. No answer, Tom just stares out the window with his jaw clenched, while Harrison drives down the street with an annoyed expression on his face. But just as I nod, wanting to give up already, does Tom speaks up.
"Doesn't Harrison sleeps at Jenna's tonight again?" He asks, not really interested in the subject, yet not wanting the car ride to be too awkward.
"Oh that would suit you, wouldn't it? So you can fuck my sister again or what?" of course, my brother has to start another fight right away. Tom's jaw clenches even more, his gaze now directed out the window instead of to the side window. His tongue sucks on his teeth, refraining him from saying anything.
"Harrison! seriously?" I exclaimed, ashamed of my brothers' behaviour.
"What? Isn't it true?" He asks, raging pain in the back of his throat.
"Couldn't you just shut the fuck up? There's nothing going on between me and your annoying little sister anymore, all right?!" I scoff. Wow, thanks Tom. Not like you couldn't have put it better. Silence returns. And for the last few minutes it remains quiet until we arrive at the company. I don't know what I expected, but I could guess that everyone would get out and slam the doors behind them.
As usual, I put my bag down in my office first and then checked my emails. Tom had already sent me the plan. He didn't really write anything, just sent me the documents which I have to print out and check by today. So I started straight away, at least I can print out the things for the flats too. I separated my work papers from my housing papers and made 2 piles, even though there were only 7 papers for the flats. I put the work papers on my desk and the flat papers in my desk drawer, cause who knows what Tom would say if he would see them.

I am so incredibly sorry that I didn't post anything last week. I hope you understand that I had school stress again and therefore no time to write. Lots of love and merry christmas in advance. If I find the time, I will post the next chapter in the next few days. <3