no matter what decision your heart makes, I will be waiting for you...

Part 56.

I think that was the moment when all the walls I had built up around myself over the last few months came tumbling down. The protection wasn't good enough, and now even Tom, for whom these were, had managed to break through them.

It had taken three words. Three words that he didn't just say, but really meant.
I wasn't sure if there were people around, and if there were, I had already blocked them out because my view was on Tom, and only Tom. I wrapped my hands around his neck again, curling my fingers in his curls as I pulled him down to steal a kiss. Just one kiss, which I knew, would change everything from now on. For it was not he who kissed me, but I who kissed him.

I felt him hesitate for the first short moment, not knowing if it was really happening, but once he trusted reality, it didn't take him a another second to return the kiss. He put his hands on my waist and pulled me even closer than I already was. Tongue devouring my mouth as if it was just the two of us. No music blaring in the background, no people partying, no waves crashing of the sea, and no chatting of conversation.

Our breaths were heavy as they hit again and again, having waited so long for the moment that we not only longed for it but needed every little taste that we got as well.

Only after a good minute did we move back again, not because we were done kissing, but because we both wanted to go somewhere else. Unfortunately, it was too dangerous here with work colleagues who could walk into us at any time. I didn't want to risk that, since it could cost Tom his job. And especially now, where he was about to be promoted, it meant endgame.

"What do you think? Do you want to go back to the beach?" He held my hand gently in his, running his thumb over the back of it. Of course none of us wanted to go back to the crowd of sweaty drunk people whose only chance was to feel free today before they had to move back to their boring working world the next day.
But Tom could hardly ask that directly since he couldn't be sure I would agree with him.
"No." I shrugged, head turned towards the party. "What do you say we sneak out of here and go somewhere else instead?" I had no idea where to go since I didn't live here, but I knew there were some great places in Los Angeles and this beach party didn't have to be one of them.

Tom immediately started nodding, a relieved smile on his lips as I took his hand and led us away from the party and down the street.

The sky was dark, the wind rustled through the palm trees, and dim street lights were the only thing that kept us company at first. Our hands quickly found their way back to our own sides, too nervous and unsure whether the other one even wanted to hold hands at all. Yet I couldn't help but notice the small too large gap between Tom and me. It was maybe a metre at the most, yet I had the feeling that the temperature had suddenly reached minus degrees. And that although it was still pleasantly warm just a few seconds ago.

I stole sideways glances at him every now and then, appreciating the way his silhouette mingled with the city lights. His jaw was tense, eyes fixed on the ground that led him the way.

"I heard there's a great pool at the hotel. What do you think?" Of course, a little swim wouldn't relieve any tension as well as a massage, but it was better than anything else I could think of. It was too late to drive anywhere and I was too tired to walk. Massages were certainly no longer available at that time of the day too and crowds of people was too stressful. What else could we have done but look at what the hotel had to offer?

"You want to go swimming? Now?" He furrowed his eyebrows, looking at me for a moment that was enough to trigger a small ray of warmth in me.
"Why not? All our work colleagues are still at the party anyway and will certainly stay there for the next few hours. And even if someone sees us together, there's nothing they can do. It's not like we're a couple or anything." I blew a nervous breath from my lips. Referring to us as a couple was a tough thing to say, and I would lie would I say it didn't cause a quick pang in my heart.
"Right." He said, almost sounding disappointed? "I didn't bring any swimming trunks though, since I hadn't planned on going swimming here."
"Neither did I. Our underwear should do it. Apart from us, no one swims at this time anyway." And I was right, when we arrived at the hotel there was no one around except for the reception. The lobby was empty, the corridors were empty and the pool area on the top floor was also empty... apart from the problem that it was also locked...
"Damn it!" I scolded. The glass panes revealed view over the shallow water, and dimmed light from the corners of the room. What I would have done to get in there.