Silent Love, Silent Pain [Levi x OC]

42. Comfort

When Erwin came back to Trost a week later he was ready to have a conversation with Sophie. Before he left she wanted to discuss her potential transfer to Levi's squad. At first he wasn't very convinced that it would be a good idea, but he thought about it during his lonely nights in the capital. There was no one to occupy his mind and his bed, he could as well think about his soldiers and their position in the unit. It was far more productive than focusing his attention on his boring private life. Life that turned out this way because of his own actions. It was good this way - no one to hurt and no one to argue with about him prioritizing his job. Now he could fully focus on his tasks and there were lots of them.

So he thought about this whole thing and decided that it was a good idea, a better one that he would originally think. He only put her in Hange's squad so she could have a chance to develop her interests, she didn't have an opportunity for that back in the Underground. She was good at drawing and it was a great use in Hange's research where she could draw detailed pictures of titans and areas they searched. They were using some of her pictures even during the presentations, some of the higher-ranked people in the capital were visualisers, thus it was good to always have something that could gather their attention.

Erwin wondered if working with scientists would raise her interest in this subject, but it didn't. It seemed like she wasn't that much into research. A shame. This unit was in a desperate need of more great minds like Hange's. Only because of that he decided to agree for her transfer. She was good at research, but it wasn't something she was passionate about. And her combat skills greatly improved since she joined the Survey Corps.

"Sophie" he greeted her when he met her in the canteen the next day after his return. "May I see you in my office after breakfast?" he asked.

She nodded and continued her meal, even though she struggled with swallowing it. Her throat and stomach seemed sensitive that day, due to her taking more pills than usual. Why was she taking them? Obviously because of Levi. They weren't really speaking these days. Ever since she let him down one more time he distanced himself from her. Sure, he was still around to check on her and keep an eye on her just in case she needed him, but he wasn't engaging in any conversation with her. It hurt too much.

Levi was mad at her. Mad that she chose alcohol over him. That whatever she decided to do with him that night was nothing to her, just a drunk excess that didn't mean nothing or at least didn't mean as much as he had hoped for. Just a stupid fooling around.

Sophie was aware of his feelings. She couldn't blame him, she would probably feel the same. But she was still suffering these days, so she was taking those pills to calm down herself as she found it harder than usual to keep quiet and not snap at him. Getting into an argument with Levi or worse - hurting him more than she already did was the last thing she wanted to happen.

She decided that there was no point in stalling the conversation with Erwin. He was her commander and he wanted to see her. She hoped that this meeting would be about his next trip to the capital, that he would tell her that she can go with him next time. It would be great, she would buy some pills from her usual supplier, the one from the tavern in Trost was alright, but his stuff was definitely overpriced considering the quality and she didn't want to be milked out of her money for something not fully effective.

"Won't you finish your breakfast first?" Farrah asked. They weren't hanging out often, but they enjoyed each other's company. She was one of the few people that were in the Scouts before she joined them. It always felt good to talk with someone who's been through a similar amount of shit in this place.

"I'm not hungry" she lied. "Besides, commander can't wait" she chuckled and headed to his office, actually excited to have a conversation with him. She knocked on his door and when she got his consent to enter she opened the door and smiled at him.