Silent Love, Silent Pain [Levi x OC]

108. Evolvement

Getting out of Marley wasn't an easy job given the current tense political climate. Luckily for Eldians, Erwin managed to leave its territory and sneak on the boat that was supposed to take him to Paradis. It took a lot of work on both his and Oldin's part to get him the documents and then find the ship that would have some of their well-wishers as part of the ship's crew, just to secure their travel. But in the end, they managed to get there.

He was sailing back to his home. Finally, Erwin never considered himself a person that would get attached to things - nor objects, nor people, nor titles and most definitely not places. He used to hold his sentiment only for ideals, but it changed. The realisation hit him in his face as soon as he felt the cold breeze on the ship. He was coming home.

Home. What a strange word that spoken inside his head, caused him to clench his jaw. The last time he thought about this word was when his father was still alive, but that was a long time ago, making it feel like it didn't happen at all. He was confused why all of a sudden he was getting these feelings again. Why did he seek to see Paradis again?

A year ago he would say that it's because his position requires him to be there, to join the conference about Marley in order to secure Eldian interest. A few months ago he would be under an impression that he started missing people that stayed in Paradis, people like Marie. But right now he believed he found a true reason for that - he became patriotic. That was a term he learned from Oldin. He realised that he hadn't felt like this before because he believed that there was nothing outside of the Walls. Now that he learned how tiny his home place was compared to other places in the world and how divided people were all around the world, he knew he had to place his loyalty in this, still a little overwhelming, term that was country. His country was Paradis and so it was his home.

Funny how his train of thought evolved ever since they learned the truth. No, when they started learning it. As of right now he was convinced that he won't ever be sure that they learned everything.

Maybe everything doesn't exist, he thought. He had to snap back from this silent deliberation when Hange poked him on his arm. Yes, he managed to get her on board too. "You're lucky I didn't tell Levi about it," she said, referring to him finding a way to get their passports instead of securing the ones for Levi and Sophie first, even though they asked about it months ago. "He'd be feral."

"I suppose he would," he nodded. He wasn't even going to make excuses or try to convince Hange otherwise, giving some kind of explanation that it was for the best of them. It wasn't and he was tired of lying. Well, he also knew that Hange would read right through that as they grew even closer during their time in Marley.

"Well, even if I didn't tell him, someone else could," she pointed out. "How are you going to explain it to him?" She didn't mean to irritate Erwin or try to make him guilty. She was just curious and a curious scientist with passion for gossip could be a pain in the ass, dedicated to getting all of the answers. Besides, what else could she do? She had to act normal, not causing people to pay attention to her whatsoever. The safest way to keep her entertained was to actually let her ask all of the questions she wanted and satisfy her with answers and thus, Erwin decided to give her just that.

"That if I took care of their documents first, there might not have been enough time to get documents for me before the conference starts and that could make their return pointless," his words were disturbingly honest, causing her to arch an eyebrow as she looked at him.

"You think it's really that important?" She leaned closer, curious to hear his answer. She wasn't into politics, no matter how much it was interested in her, she couldn't find interest in it. She'd rather have Erwin tell her how to feel on matters like this. For her it was far too complicated. She liked the simplicity of science, how every single discovery seemed logical and she could work on things that could actually have a result which wasn't always a case in diplomacy as she and the rest painfully learned before. Science was predictable, it was always giving some type of results. Politics failed in that very often, far too often for her liking.