✅ My Cousin's Keeper [NaNoWriMo 2021]

4. My Compromise

Author's Note: This is fiction only. In the real world, Gabby's plans probably wouldn't work, and would probably be considered abuse. Don't try this at home.

"I'm not a baby!"

I'd seen the words in email more than a dozen times already, and John Naylor had already told me that it was Tess's favourite thing to say when she was upset about something, but it was the first time I'd heard those words in person. I'd had half an hour to get to know Tess and her parents, talking as we walked around the neighbourhood, and I still couldn't get over how cute she was. I'd been sure to remind myself that she had grown up since the last time we met; I didn't want to be disappointed on seeing her face to face. But she barely looked any older. If I'd seen her in the street, I would have guessed that she was nine or ten at the oldest, and I could understand why kids at school would have picked on her. She was an easy target; someone they could envy, perhaps. She was so small, so cute, that everyone would want to be like her. Practically perfect, with silvery-blonde hair swept back in a tight ponytail and an expression that looked so innocent and dreamy in between moments of intense focus.

I'd just left her parents unpacking some of her stuff in the kitchen – she was a picky eater, apparently, and had wanted to bring some of her favourite stuff in case she didn't share my tastes – and taken her upstairs to show her the new nursery.

She yelled. Well, I half expected that. She would realise just how good it felt to sink into her little headspace when she tried it, but right now she was still trying to be as adult as possible for her parents. I did my best to comfort her, explaining that it was only temporary, that she didn't have to keep it like that if she didn't want, and that Malcolm would be happy to decorate again. When her parents joined the conversation I explained that I'd already paid Malcolm to redecorate, and that if Tess picked a colour scheme he'd be here just as soon as he finished his current big job. They all seemed satisfied with that, although John pointed out that he'd be willing to pay some of the costs. I assured him that he didn't need to, that I could cover it. Easy to generous, when I knew my new baby would have changed her mind long before it was convenient to have a decorator in.

She had a lot of stuff with her; almost as much as all the things I'd already bought to get ready for her visit. I helped as much as I could, did everything possible to reassure her parents that she was going to be happy here. Before four o'clock they were gone, and it was just me and Tess in the house. A family, alone at last, and I couldn't resist a smile when I thought about how much fun we were going to have.

* * *

We spent the evening watching TV. I'd picked out a movie that Jenny at work said was a classic; a family movie that I should have seen when I was a kid. I figured that I needed to get to know Tess, so she could trust me with her problems. We laughed along with the movie, and by the end we were feeling like family again. In the circumstances, I felt like it would be appropriate to offer Tess a glass of wine. I had a bottle of some low-alcohol stuff that was more like grape juice, and I figured that after all the pressure she'd been under to act her age, she would appreciate it if I treated her like an adult a little more than I had to. That would make it easier for her to trust me.

I got up a few times to refill our glasses. We were on the second bottle now, and it was easier to talk; but this was reduced-alcohol wine so it was only like drinking a glass or two. And apparently Tess was feeling more comfortable with me, so she came out and asked if she would have to look after herself. She told me that she could make her own dinner if she needed to, that I didn't have to look after her, and that she didn't need a babysitter anymore. It seemed a strange thing to come out with, and I was pretty sure that wasn't what she really wanted. She just felt obligated to say it.

I gave the best answer I could on the spur of the moment. I said that if she acted like an adult, I would have to treat her like an adult, and made some lame joke about splitting the bills or something. It made sense in context, and seemed funny enough. And then I turned that around and said that if she wanted me to treat her as a baby, she just had to act like one. She didn't argue then, because it was clearly a joke. I think she was starting to warm up to me, and she didn't need to be so defensive. And I knew that if she remembered the conversation, she would have to dismiss the next time I called her "baby" as a continuation of the same joke.

I went to fill the glasses one last time, and hesitated. She'd had a long day, and I knew she must have been exhausted. Not to mention that she had school in the morning, and it would be her first time rushing to catch the bus. I gathered that her old home had been on the edge of Raybridge, so almost within walking distance of her school; but from here it would take ten minutes of brisk walking just to reach the nearest stop for the school bus. I glanced back into the lounge, and saw Tess bouncing in her seat, smiling. Well, that was a good end to her first day, but it had its own problems.

I knew Tess had to be tired, but she was also excited and giggly. Not good for a child who needed to sleep. So I reached to the back of the top shelf, and found a little plastic tray loaded with vitamins, painkillers, bandages, and a selection of assorted first aid stuff that I'd never found the time to sort out. I opened two small packs of tablets, and took out one of each. A sleeping pill would certainly be good for her in her current state, to make sure she actually slept before her early start. But I wasn't sure if a whole one would be too much given how small she was, so I broke the tablet in half.

Then it was time to hesitate again. I didn't know what her parents' attitude to medication had been; they could have been the kind to insist that you didn't take anything unless it was absolutely needed. And even if we were friends again, she might not trust me enough to just take a pill when I said it was a good idea. That was a question it would be better to put off until she was a little more sure of where she stood. So I crushed the tablets up with the back of a butter knife, and tipped the white powder into one of the glasses. The strong taste of a sweet dessert wine would mask the flavour, I was sure. And she would be a lot happier with a good night's sleep before having to learn the new route to school.

Twenty minutes later, the movie was over and I knew I'd made the right choice. She was already sleepy, and went straight to bed. The nursery door was ajar, so I looked in on her twice before the morning and found her sleeping soundly. Everything was going perfectly now.