✅ My Cousin's Keeper [NaNoWriMo 2021]

Act II: 36. Our Baby's Clothes

When I reached my room, I gave a little sigh. Ffrances had laid clothes out on the bed for me, and they were just what I'd been expecting. But somehow, seeing them spread out like that made it all the more embarrassing. They were the same clothes I had worn when babysitting more than ten years before. Jeans that I might have considered stylish. I'd probably called them distressed, but in truth they were worn out. I'd been so opposed to being a vapid follower of fashion like Jenny Hollister that I'd found a completely different style without realising. I'd mistaken scruffy for edgy. It was just my good luck that I'd been attractive enough for people not to say anything. Or maybe they had said something, just not where I could hear.

The T-shirt that went with those clothes was a Paramore one, much worn. Well, it wouldn't really have been anything else. I might have listened to a dozen different bands at that age, but half my wardrobe was filled with almost identical prints. That had been my attempt to be edgy as well, and it was only looking back on it as an adult that I realised how cringeworthy I must have been as a child.

Still, I was going to be older than Tess today, and the only way I could achieve that was by changing into my old clothes. They were freshly washed, at least, and smelled of Ffrances's favourite floral fabric conditioner. She must have washed them at home, to save them from any dust that had built up while they were in storage; making sure that there was no chance of Tess seeing them before she knew what we had planned for today.

I'd seen Tess's clothes as well; they looked just like the ones in the photo we'd just been staring at, but I was sure they weren't actually the same. Tess hadn't grown as much as she would have liked in the intervening decade, and I thought the outfit looked quite loose on her in the photo, but there was still no way she could have fitted into toddler clothes without extreme discomfort. But when Ffrances held them out, I was sure that they weren't quite as small as the last time I had examined them. She'd either adjusted the clothes, or remade them in something closer to my cousin's current measurements.

I changed my clothes, feeling a little strange about it. I wasn't supposed to be getting younger today, that wasn't the point. I was supposed to be the older cousin for a change, so I could look down at Tess a little, and tease her the same way she'd always done to me when I was younger. But persuading Ffrances to hypnotise her had been hard enough; and the only way I'd been able to get Tess to ask for it was pretending that regression was something I wanted to do as well. So I would be thirteen again, a little kid who didn't know any better. I wasn't enthusiastic about being young again, but as long as it gave me the chance to turn Tess into a real child I would take it. I didn't know yet if I would make her twelve, or ten. Or if I would tell her to be even younger, an excitable six-year-old perhaps, or all the way back to being a toddler, or even a baby. Every possibility excited me, but I also knew that going too far would put her off, and there was a chance she might decide against being hypnotised again if she didn't enjoy it. Six was probably a happy medium, small enough that there would be no doubt who was in charge, while still old enough to say what she wanted, so she didn't feel like she was out of control.

Under the rest of the clothes, I found a pair of zebra-print knee socks. I didn't even remember those until I stretched them out, and remembered just how awesome they had seemed when they were nothing like anything my friends would wear. I felt confident and in control, proud of my individuality. Even without the suggestions that should have turned me younger, I was feeling excited. Happy enough to play along, knowing that before long my cousin would be the little one.

I went down the stairs two at a time, and saw that Ffrances was waiting outside Tess's room. And then the soon-to-be little girl came out, looking just a little embarrassed. She was wearing green dungarees, sturdy fabric that would give her great freedom of movement, with a stiff skirt-like bit that just about hid the fact that her outfit had buttons between the legs of her shorts. It would be easier for the grown-ups to change her diaper if they needed to, but I assumed she wouldn't actually be wearing a diaper today. Ffrances had said that we would start slowly with making us younger, and I didn't think Tess would ever have agreed if we asked her to wear a diaper right away. Still, it gave me a google to imagine my so-serious cousin dressed up like a tiny little baby.

"All dressed up?" Ffrances asked, and we answered with a chorus of "Yes."

"Feeling young and cute?" We chorused our agreement again, although I wasn't really feeling any littler. I'd watched the hypnosis without taking part, so I would just be able to play along. This was going to be so cool.

"How old do you feel, Tess?" I joined in the questions, because I wanted to show how grown up I was to start with, putting myself on the same level as Ffrances. Then Tess have to think of me like a grown up, and she would do what I said when she started getting properly little.

"Umm..." she mumbled. "I'm fourteen. Like we didn't start changing yet, did we?"

"No. But it'll change soon enough," I giggled, and then thought about the instructions I'd heard Ffrances give her. The things I needed to say, when I wanted Tess to start being younger than me. Did I just have to tell her how old she was, and how it felt? I looked at Ffrances again, wondering if she was going to show me how to do it the first time. But she didn't seem to be doing anything. I took a deep breath, swallowed, and tried to remember how it felt to be a little bit younger.

"Tess," I said, confidently. "You're only thirteen now. That means you're all giggly, and you still get excited about cartoon shows and all those teddy bears you've got in your room."

Tess started to blush, and I couldn't even guess what was going through her head. Did she feel herself getting little again, or did it just change without her noticing? How would I know if it had worked?

"Are you?" Ffrances asked, and Tess nodded. "How old are you?"

"Thirteen," she answered, with no hesitation at all. It had worked! "I bet this is going to be loads of fun, it's so cool!"

"And you, Gabby? How old are you?"

"I'm nearly thirteen," I answered right away. "But there's only a few months in it now. As soon as I tell her to be littler again, I'll be the big one and then she's got to do what I say!"

"Is that fair?"

"Yeah. It's my turn to be in charge, isn't it? I get to look after a real baby now and she can't stop me."

"But I can, young lady. And I say you're only allowed to make her younger once she's had time to get used to it, and you have to stop if Tess says she's uncomfortable. You can try to be a big girl, but you're not allowed to be a bully."

"Sure, sure," I shrugged, certain that I could do whatever I wanted. I had made my plans, and I knew how much fun today was going to be. Tess was already giggling, like she could see the biggest joke ever and nobody else had got it. If she did what I said so easily then there was no way she could stop me. When I realised that I started laughing too, and thinking about all the fun I was going to have. The two of us were laughing away, not paying attention to anything else around us. But there was one big difference between us: I actually had something to laugh at, and the supposed teenager was just giving up and feeling like the little kid I'd told her to be.

"Well, would you two like to come and take a photo, then?" Ffrances asked, and we both managed to nod an answer. So with Ffrances in the lead we headed for the garden, where I could show her the next bit of my brilliant plan.