✅ My Cousin's Keeper [NaNoWriMo 2021]

68. My Little One

Because of all the people who have supported me on Patreon, you get a couple of extra chapters today. This one is dedicated to Alyssa. Thank you again for all your support.

Tess's movement and posture, even more than an outfit that wouldn't have looked out of place on any toddler, reminded me that she was a child on the inside. She was sucking on her pacifier as well; the one that I had given her a few days before. That was reassuring; I'd half wondered if she might have gotten embarrassed and thrown it in the trash if someone saw her with it outside the house. Taking care of it reaffirmed my belief that this was something she wanted deep down, and I was just giving her the confidence to admit it.

She bounced over to the recliner and threw herself back into it with a little giggle. Her hair was tied up in an approximate bun, but still wet and I was sure it would be hard to untangle if it dried like that. Still, her confidence in presenting herself to us like this was a huge step forward. I could worry less now.

"Hi," I greeted her with a wave. "Enjoying yourself?" She nodded and smiled. Her mouth moved too, the pacifier bobbing up and down. I thought she might be speaking, an embarrassed whisper that would barely carry in any case, but there was no way I could understand it with that thing in her mouth. "Had a good day?" Another nod. "Are you all tired and ready for a nap now?"

"Uh-uh." Tess shook her head this time. And spoke a little louder, although it still took some extra effort to make out what she was saying. "I did good, I think. I asked for embarrassing stuff, and worked out how I can do everything. Now we can all be happy. Do you like this?"

"You look adorable," I said, and Ffrances agreed. "Does that help you feel littler too? I hope you're as happy as you look, without a care in the world."

"A bit," she said. "Do you want to watch things?" She sounded almost normal, as far as her tone was concerned. But there was a part of her that was less embarrassed now, and could let those worries drift to the back of her mind. She didn't have the brash confidence she usually tried to project, because she didn't have anything to rebel against. But she also didn't have anything to worry about, no reason to hide anything. I thought I'd noticed her picking simpler words, a good sign of her headspace, but she wasn't saying enough for me to work out how far gone she was. I reminded myself that she was trying to impress me, playing to my fantasies. So I had to do everything I could to make sure she enjoyed the experience. That was how she would get more enthusiastic, and start regressing often enough for it to become a habit.

"While you've been a good girl," I said, "I thought we might let you choose what to watch. Do you want cartoons?"

"I'm not a baby," she giggled, and then paused to think for a second before adding: "Not now. What do you want?"

"We've got Shaaark!," I suggested. "Or we could watch Palmerston if you want more of a laugh. There's lots of stuff too. If you're feeling little, it might be fun trying shows for different ages, to see if you can relax and let yourself enjoy them."

"Will you be bored?"

"Don't worry about us," Ffrances said with a laugh. "I'm intrigued how you'll respond to this. Call it professional curiosity; I want to know if you could enjoy watching something like Totbox, or if you still need intellectual stimulation."

"A lot of shows are made so grown-ups can enjoy them too," I added. "Like jokes that you won't notice because you're too little, so we've got something to laugh at too."

"I'll notice!" she said proudly, "I'm a big girl! I can prove it."

I almost laughed then, and I could tell Ffrances's hand was at her mouth just to hide a chuckle. Normally it would have been impossible to manipulate Tess with such a simple trick. But like this she accepted my words at face value, and did her best to argue like a bratty child. Or perhaps she saw what I was doing and decided to play along. Either way, I could tell that she was having fun.