✅ My Cousin's Keeper [NaNoWriMo 2021]

116. My Confession

I stared in shock. I'd spent a lot of time today to bring me and Ffrances closer, building something special to make our relationship perfect and hold our family together. What could have happened to give Ffrances second thoughts? It wasn't the first time that she'd slapped me, but normally I could tell that she meant it affectionately. This time wasn't some kinky game, I knew that she was angry. The way she walked away made me think that she didn't even want to see me, which was a completely new feeling. I knew that she had to have misunderstood something, but I couldn't guess what. And if I didn't know what she thought I'd done, how was I supposed to think of a good explanation?

I shook myself out of my stupor long enough to step inside the kitchen and close the door behind me. I didn't chase after her yet, but thought hard about what could be wrong while I took off my coat and shoes. There was only one conclusion I could come to; and it was one that I should have seen coming, if I'd just thought about it.

Ffrances could track me. There were apps on my phone to control a bunch of remote control vibrators and similar toys, so that Mistress could tease me wherever I happened to be. And that was a lot of fun, but it also meant that many of those apps would give her some kind of status report; like whether my phone was in do-not-disturb mode, or driving mode. She would know when I was in the car or when I was at work, and I guessed that she might be able to find out where I was in more detail than I had realised. It was entirely possible that she had seen me in Moistville, at the end of a day when I'd told her I would be coming straight home from the conference. She could have been here waiting for me, when I didn't respond to her messages, and then she checked with some piece of technology and saw that I was in a bar in a city an hour's drive away. What would she have thought? Did she think I was deliberately neglecting her?

I knew that I would have to find some kind of explanation. But what? I couldn't tell her the truth; so I'd have to make something up in order to calm her worries until the big day. But what could I say? My mind was whirling, trying to find the right idea that I needed. But everything seemed too trite, or not believable. Really, I needed to know just how much she knew. Was she just mad that I was home later than I had promised? That was hard to believe, because I'd left work without helping with any of the cleaning up. Even offset by sinner and an hour each way to Moistville, I still wasn't much later than I would have been coming straight home at the end of the day. Was it because I hadn't heard her messages? Was it because she'd found out I went to Moistville; or because she knew that I was in a bar? The answers I needed to give her would be very different in each case.

Or it could be something else entirely. Had she heard that I'd gone to Malarkey & Sons without her? I would think that was a good thing, trying to get on with her friends so that perhaps they could be our friends. It was something I should have done a couple of years ago; but maybe it would seem weird because I'd chosen a day when she wasn't there to introduce us. But if that was the case, maybe I could spin it... If I got to know Isaac better as a person first, and could call him a friend, then it would be easier to calm my paranoia when I saw him flirting with my fiancée. But then... what if Ffrances had heard from someone that I brought Kernigan there without telling her? I was sure that if she'd known he was going to be there, she would have wanted to meet him as well. But that wouldn't merit a slap, would it? There was no way I could be sure.

I needed to know how much she knew about today, and what exactly she was mad about, so that I could put together a story to calm her down. And there were too many things that she might or might not have heard about; things that would make all the difference. So I would have to wing it, and just hope that I could come up with something believable on the fly.

The TV was still on; playing silently. Flickering images illuminated the lounge in a complex dance of shadows. I guessed that Ffrances was planning to carry on watching something later, but she wasn't there right now. There was no sign of Tess either; I wondered what she was up to. Could she have gone to bed already? The absence of her flask from the fridge suggested so, but it was still a little early for her to be sleeping yet. Maybe she was still down after her afternoon with Spike; if she'd ditched the predator it might take her a couple of days to get used to the change. I knew that I should talk to her; if I could comfort her then it would make it easier for her to heal. If nothing else, I could help her to have a little accident and feel like a baby. Regression would be a big comfort, even if she was too nervous to ask. And I was sure that in the circumstances, her previous demand that I check with that boy would no longer apply.