✅ My Cousin's Keeper [NaNoWriMo 2021]

148. My Guilt Trip

As we continued watching the movie, I found it hard to pay attention to the screen. Ffrances seemed to be doing everything in her power to distract me; and it really surprised me when I realised that I'd even noticed. When we had first started dating, there had been so many movies that I didn't even look at, because I was so taken with my beautiful lover. Maybe that was an indicator of why Tags and Striker were so popular; or maybe it was because I was growing as a person, and I actually cared about the things that my fiancée enjoyed just as much as I wanted her body and her discipline.

I was glad that I'd finally started getting into the comics that brought Ffrances so much enjoyment. Another reason that I should be grateful for Tess's presence here, and try extra hard to make sure that my little one was safe from any contact with adult needs. Now, even with Ffrances's lips on my skin, I was taking in some of the plot of the movie. And at the same time, I think there were a lot of little bits that I would have missed, if it weren't for Tess and Spike occasionally skipping back to review the crucial scenes. At those moments, everybody wanted to talk about what we'd seen, and what it might be pointing to later.

Time passed, and the entertainment didn't get any less gripping. But it wasn't too long before I was sure that Tess would have started to squirm for real. She'd had several drinks, and I wanted to make sure that Ffrances noticed Tess needed to go before she actually wet herself. I tore my eyes away from the screen, and looked over to the sofa where Tess and Spike were sitting. They were a lot closer than I had expected them to be, and that still made me a little worried. But it was clear that it wasn't her friend's arm around her that was making Tess uncomfortable. She pressed her legs together and shifted position constantly, but made no move to pause the DVD. She skipped back sometimes if she wanted to make sure she took in all the details of what we were watching, and there was an occasional pause because we were talking about how well we thought the actors on the screen fitted the characters from the comics, but she hadn't called for a bathroom break.

It was working perfectly. Tess couldn't know just how long this DVD was. She would keep on trying to hold it, because to relieve herself would mean that she couldn't have an accident as instructed. And because it was supposed to be a surprise this time, she couldn't even realise that. But maybe I was only noticing the way she was moving because I was already expecting it. I needed to do something to make it a little more obvious; so Ffrances would finally accept that Tess's obsession with losing control without regressing was harmful.

It was hard to keep my mind on Tess, when Todd Lynchblud was giving such a convincing performance as Don Cassarone. Even knowing the vague story of The Biker, the Don, and the Pope, and what was about to happen next, it was hard not to get caught up in the angst of this guy wondering if his son was contemplating the assassination of his adopted sons. He was a great actor, and looked distinguished even with his distinguished silver hair slicked back and dyed. The fact that he showed up in a suit that may as well have been his costume even for the first table reads of the script showed just how seriously this guy was throwing himself into the role; and that kind of method acting really made it easy to empathise with the don.

I looked up at Tess, and saw that she was still shifting in her seat. I didn't want to interrupt, knowing that we were all about to be startled by the appearance of the hitman even if we knew it was coming. But I guessed that Ffrances would find a suitable place to call a break if I gave her a reason.

"Mistress?" I whispered, and then cursed myself silently. I didn't need to be in that kind of headspace right now. I wanted to be the one making suggestions, not taking orders. But when she'd been discreetly biting me as the movie went on, it was hard to think of myself as anything but a toy. "I uhh... Tess doesn't look comfortable. But she's not saying anything. Do you think if we take a bathroom break, she'll be able to go too? I don't like seeing her uncomfortable, and I guess there's some reason she doesn't want to –"