✅ My Cousin's Keeper [NaNoWriMo 2021]

75. My Festive Preparations

Tess didn't have an accident while 'Spike' was in our house. I was a little disappointed by that; and also knew that I needed to find some way to test the suggestion. I could hope that he had enough respect to keep his hands to himself, so the instructions I'd given her wouldn't kick in. But he was a young man, barely an adult, and I didn't think there was any chance he wouldn't have control of himself.

Perhaps Tess had said no; that would be the best outcome. Now that she was accepting herself as a little, could she have realised that she wasn't old enough to be hanging around an older man unsupervised? I hoped that was the case, but I couldn't believe it. Still, it would have explained why he was so eager to leave, already making excuses when I came downstairs.

Tess thanked me for inviting him, and gave me a hug. I offered her a pacifier before bed, and after a moment of nervous hesitation she took it from me. She was calmer then, and seemed like she didn't have a care in the world. I still didn't know if that man had behaved, or if the trigger didn't work properly when she wasn't sleeping. But I had an idea for how to test that, and I told myself not to worry about it too much. I would know sooner or later. We finished the day watching kids' cartoons on TV, something that didn't need too much brain power. I was tempted to try Tess's new triggers, at least the ones I knew about. But I didn't want to admit that I knew any of the details, even of the parts Ffrances had allowed me to remember. So instead I asked while Ffrances was refilling her drink whether Tess would like to avoid accidents tonight; and gave her the trigger she was already used to. Whether she remembered it, or whether it put her into little space, would be entirely down to her own subconscious today; but I had to act like I didn't know that.

* * *

The next day was Wednesday, and almost Christmas time. Somehow, with all the things we'd gotten up to over the last few weeks, I hadn't managed to put up decorations yet. So I promised myself we would do them tonight, and stuck a note on the calendar. Just inside the back door we had a magnetic whiteboard with a calendar on, and a wide variety of fridge magnets, so I chose a snowflake to attach this note.

Then I was off to work. We had decorations up here already, and a tree in the lobby lit in constantly changing colours. It was hard to believe it was so close to Christmas now; the last few months seemed to have gone by so slowly. Work took forever as well; I couldn't wait to get home and spend time with my little again.

After a couple of hours I needed a break. The columns of figures were all blurring together, a constant parade of sums that meant nothing anymore. I got a coffee in my travel mug and wandered around the office, watching the people I interacted with at work every day. Somewhere in here, I was sure there must be someone who could help me. Another little, someone who would voluntarily spare Ffrances that indignity, if I could just find her. But when I looked at my coworkers, I was just reminded that I knew almost nothing about what they did outside of work hours. Was I too focused on my career, too dedicated to the company?

"Something I can help with?" I heard a voice at my shoulder and turned around to see Walcroft standing there; waves of chestnut hair framing a face that somehow seemed too large for her head. Always eager to please, wanting to show off to the full time staff in the hope that she could turn a Social Economics degree into a real job. Well, there probably wasn't anything she could help me with today, but... Something about that enthusiasm could be considered childlike, I supposed. Could she be Ffrances's mysterious little, even if there wasn't anything really cute about her?

"Well, I..." I mumbled, and then cleared my throat. If I wanted an answer, I just needed to phrase it in a way that didn't sound so suspicious. "Have you heard from Ffrances? My girlfriend, I mean. She said she'd been talking to someone from the office lately. Probably someone she met at the office party last year, or the summer picnic. I mean... not like I'm checking up on her or anything. But she said there's someone here with some unusual interests, the kind of thing you might be embarrassed to talk about. And... well, I'm hoping there's someone I can talk to. My cousin has similar interests, and it would help her so much if there was someone she could confide in. Like, an adult who's been in her shoes. Or even someone who could give me some tips on how to make sure she's happy. Ffrances is being all cryptic, like she won't share something she learned in confidence even if it's mutually beneficial. So I have to guess. Do you know who it might be?"