✅ My Cousin's Keeper [NaNoWriMo 2021]

152. My Acceptance

This bonus chapter is dedicated to Peter, with thanks for supporting kittyangel on Patreon. Thank you!

"I did something terrible," I mumbled as Ffrances walked into my room. She nodded, but didn't acknowledge the statement. "I tried to push Tess, because she's denying her little side. I know I'm supposed to let her have autonomy, but–"

"Gabby," she said. "She's not denying her little side, or repressing her inner child, or anything like that. The only evidence to suggest that she has any kind of little traits is stuff you made up. You want her to be a baby because you think she's cute. That's all."

"No!" I protested. "I was doing it for her. Trust me, she's a little on the inside. You know I have that talent for sensing the role that really fits somebody, whether it's sub, dom, little, or whatever. But I know I shouldn't have tried to make her accept that. And I know that–"

"Gabby, listen, please. You keep talking about this talent. But every time you've mentioned it, you have been wrong. You keep telling me I'm a natural domme, but that's something I've only ever pushed myself to do so I can please you. A role I play, not who I am. You said it's obvious that your friends Kelli and Rei at uni were in a heavy D/s relationship verging into ownership and objectification... and that was right, but you pegged their roles the wrong way around."

I opened my mouth to object, but I couldn't think of anything to say. Ffrances seemed so sure, and she was an actual psychologist. Could she see clues I'd missed, or had they actually talked to her about it? And she said 'every time'... but so many times since we graduated, I had let her know when we met somebody who was kinky. Did she really mean that she had read the opposite; or that she had asked enough of those people to be sure that my instincts were off base.

I wanted to ask more, but then I thought about the other part of what she'd said. That I'd got her wrong. She wasn't really a domme? How could I have been so badly mistaken? I couldn't believe that; but I loved her. Making her happy was more important than my pride, so I had to know the truth.

"Wait, you're not a domme? But you said you were. I mean... you're not just saying that because you think you have to?"

"Gabby, we've been through this. And you don't listen, but I can live with that. This time, will you believe me? As a teaching assistant, I had to take control of the class, and I know how to do that. But it's exhausting; the longer I'm in control, the more I'm craving a chance to give it all up. The mask I present to the world isn't who I really am. And I think it's the same for a lot of people. Like your colleague Little Vicky, I messaged her on the forum to set up this convention, and she said... you've met her in person, and she knew that you'd immediately assumed she's a domme, just because her career requires her to be in control. And it's like... you even told me that people who feel like they have to present an in-control persona for their jobs or whatever are most likely to be littles in private. But when you look at people, you only see the surface."

"I'm sorry," I said. What else could I say? "So you really want..."

"I'm a little. I told you that so many times. When will you believe me? But I'm also a service domme. That means I know how to take charge. I can put on a dominant mask, I can walk the walk and talk the talk. But that's not what pushes my buttons; I do it as a service, to please the woman I love. Understand? I can enjoy your happiness, but it's always been about what you want. And that's something I'm happy with... until you started imposing your opinions on what you want them to be on children. You managed to convince me that Tess had talked to you; and you planted the evidence that seems to support that. But now it's just a pack of lies, and there is nothing at all to suggest that she could ever enjoy this."