✅ My Cousin's Keeper [NaNoWriMo 2021]

34. My Hypnotised Baby Girl

Ffrances talked Tess through keeping her eyes on the metronome, and focusing completely on her words. It was a script I was already familiar with, and I thought it was probably a good choice for someone new to this kind of thing. In the past we had tried all kinds of innovative and experimental techniques, but I didn't know how many of those had only been effective because of the rapport we already had, and my having enough experience to find the place in my mind that she was leading me to. Not that I could remember all of those techniques anyway, but it already felt fresh and new. Ffrances was the one who really understood hypnosis, and I knew that she would do exactly what was best for our little one.

I was really excited now, looking forward to seeing how young I could make Tess. I found myself starting to anticipate the fun that would come after this, and that made it easier to stare at the metronome. The needle ticked back and forth, and my thoughts swung between the words Ffrances was saying and the experiences they were going to enable. But I knew this technique well enough, and it wasn't the version that she had slowly adapted, tailoring it to be more effective on me. She was focusing on Tess now and letting me go along for the ride. As long as I paid attention to the nuances in her language rather than following the instructions, I wouldn't quite sink into the trance. I could just go along with it, making sure that she was giving Tess the same suggestions we had agreed on. I would keep my own mind sharp, so I could be sure that I would say all the right things when Tess was actually being a baby. I was going to make sure that she slipped straight back to that state in future, until she got used to it and accepted that she was my little one.

She told Tess that she was going to feel herself getting a little younger as she tried on the clothes that Ffrances had selected; and that she was going to find it easier to feel childlike for the rest of the day. As always, she repeated and reinforced the instruction that this would only last for today; remembering suggestions could sometimes be like remembering a dream, and she wanted to make sure that this particular part got through. She asked Tess to remember being younger again; how she might have felt at different ages. And she asked her to imagine how it would feel if she found herself getting even younger. To imagine shrinking, and feel all her adult worries drifting away until the only thoughts she needed would be things that she could enjoy at that age.

She told us to imagine each other getting younger as well; that we would see each other as the age we were supposed to be, while the game developed. Again, she reinforced that this would only be for today, and that we could go back to our real ages at the end of the day. While I listened, I kept on nodding. I'd let my eyes close when it seemed like the right time; I didn't want to be a distraction during Tess's first session, and I didn't really need to take in these suggestions. It would be enough for me to play along, just so that Tess would feel safe thinking that she wasn't alone in her regression. Maybe Ffrances knew that I wasn't following, but she didn't say anything about it, just kept on talking to both of us as if we were both in trance.

The next part of the trance was concerning her age. She said that to start with we would be almost the same age. That we would see ourselves as being pretty similar, until we were told otherwise, and would just be excited to play together. And she told us that although Tess was slightly older, we would know that it wasn't a huge difference, and that the adults expected us to treat each other as equals. Well, that wasn't quite right. I'd have to turn that around pretty quickly, because one of the reasons I'd set up this whole intervention was so that Tess could find out what it was like to be the younger one for a change.

Then it was on to the important things. The instructions that would make my life easier if I knew exactly how they worked. Ffrances said that we would be easily amused, and we wouldn't worry too much about adult things. That when we noticed ourselves acting childish, it would only be an excuse to laugh. That if someone else comforted us like children, it would be easier for us to see ourselves like that, and it would take away any guilt or shame about acting that way. And these parts didn't have the usual constant reminders that they would go back to normal at the end of the day. Instead, Ffrances said that it would be the same any time we did something childish, or chose to dress like children. Doing something childish would always make us feel just a little more comfortable with being treated like children, and more accepting of any suggestions we got from an adult. Once we knew the childish mindset, being caught doing appropriate actions would always remind us of that feeling. It wouldn't make us do anything, or cause a complete change. She was careful to state that; she didn't want Tess to get carried away and lose herself in that little girl headspace. But she was clear that if we ever found it hard to get back into that state of mind, doing something childish would bring it within reach. Doing something childish and having it acknowledged by a trusted adult would give us an easy way to step away from adult thoughts for a while; so that if Tess wanted to get her headspace back, she would still need my approval. And even then, it would only make it easier for her to accept being treated like a child, and happier about taking the adult's suggestions.

I filed all those details away in my memory, both so I could play along with the suggestions as if I was following them too, and so that I would understand how to help her in future. After all, I already knew that I could help Tess to do something childish any day of the week. And if it made it easier for her to do what I said, I would be able to bring her a little closer to a real baby each time.

And then we were on the final part of the instructions, and this one was again for today only. Ffrances told me that for the rest of the afternoon, if she told me how old I was, I would find myself acting the part. Maybe a little embarrassed, maybe a little confused, but with no need to fight it. Those thoughts would seem so natural that as long as it lasted, I wouldn't have a problem with them even if I knew I was normally too old to think like that. She could tell me how old I was, and how I would feel at that age, and my subconscious would just make it happen. Her words were so poetic, and conjured up the scene in my imagination so well, that I was sure I would have ended up feeling like a real teen babysitter if I'd been in trance. It would have been just as intense as Tess's feeling of being a real baby. And when she had finished with me, Ffrances gave the same suggestions to Tess. Except, of course, that this time it was either me or Ffrances who had the power to tell her to get younger. Because she could trust me, as if I was really older than her, and mature enough to know what was safe.

As Ffrances guided us up again, telling us to let the suggestions fade from our dreams into reality as we woke up, I stretched out my arms and treated her to a big smile.

"All ready to play, girls?" she asked.

"Yeah," Tess answered with a smile. "That sounds like a lot of fun. Let's do it."

"Well..." I mumbled. I had to say something, because Ffrances would probably have picked up from my body language that I wasn't the right kind of attentive. But I didn't think that would be a problem. "I think I wasn't as deep as I usually am. It's a new experience, having Tess here as well, and maybe it'll take me a while to get used to it. I remember more than usual, I've got a vague impression of the suggestions, and I think I was analysing some words when I should have been following them. But I don't think we need to go again. We can see if it works anyway, and if it doesn't I'd be happy enough playing along for now. It doesn't need to be completely real, just to give... us a sense if we'll enjoy this kind of thing in future."

"Wait," Tess piped up just as soon as I finished speaking. She'd been looking at me, waiting for a moment to get a word in, but I'd been determined to finish the explanation so Ffrances didn't feel like she had to give me an extra trance to reinforce the effect. She would understand, anyhow, because as far as she knew this was all really for Tess's benefit, and I was only joining in so the little one would have the confidence to ask for what she wanted.

"Hmm?"

"Wait, did you already do it? I didn't... was I blanked out like that thing you did to Gabby?"

"You were," Ffrances nodded. "And you were a very good subject. People with a strong imagination usually are. Only to give you the suggestions that you already asked for. You'll be able to feel a little younger when you try on the clothes I've selected for you, and if you enjoy it you'll be able to bring a trace of those feelings back at a later date. Just decide to do something childish, and if someone else responds by treating you like a child, you won't be troubled by worries about whether it's appropriate for your age."

"Thank you," I asked. "I'm a little excited to try this now. So, should we both go and get changed?"