✅ My Cousin's Keeper [NaNoWriMo 2021]

89. My Big Girl

This chapter is dedicated to Dewayne. Thank you for supporting me; and I'm sorry that it's been nearly a month since this story got an update. I got a little carried away with my other story My Sister's Problem; which I'd recommend checking out if you haven't tried it yet.

Tess hesitated for several minutes, her gaze roving back and forth between me and her new potty. She was so excited to use it, and it was hard to believe that she'd been a confident wannabe-adult so recently. Now she didn't even have the courage to admit that she'd already wet herself. And then she forced a smile.

"I gotta go potty like a big girl," she said, but the tone was more like she was asking permission. "Can I do that?"

I told her that she could, and praised her for knowing that she needed to pee. I reminded her a couple of times that knowing when she needed to go was one of the most important signs of being a big girl, so if she could tell then she might be big soon. I was pretty confident she was bluffing; her bladder couldn't have filled up again so quickly, but I played along for now. Perhaps she was overconfident, or she really wasn't sure because I'd told her it was her first time. I encouraged her, and asked her if she needed help. This was when I would find out just how little she was feeling, and whether she could stay in her headspace that long.

I talked to her soothingly, just like a real child. She was my little now, there was no mistaking it. I was so glad when I knew that I was finally in charge and everything was going to go just how I had hoped. I asked her to stand with her hands out of the way while I loosened her diaper. I didn't comment on how soggy she was; that would have just diminished her enjoyment when she was so excited about being able to go potty like a big girl. I tossed the diaper in the trash, and made a mental note to get another one after she was done. I was pretty sure that she wasn't going to use the potty this time, not after having an accident only fifteen minutes before. But it was adorable watching her try, showing me just how small and helpless she was feeling. This was perfect, exactly the mood I wanted to see, and I couldn't get over how much she was enjoying it. It was like all my dreams had come true; I was a kid at Christmas, although less literally than my baby.

She was excited, and nervous, and everything else I might have expected. And she was staring at the potty like she wasn't sure what to do. Precious. So I reached out and pressed one of the buttons on the side, shaped like a snake.

"You can do it, Princess!" a slightly electronic sounding voice called out. It was clearly a digitised clip from the cartoon, but I didn't know the show that well so I didn't know which character it was supposed to do. Still, it had the desired effect. Tess's face lit up, and I repeated the words. She told me that she was going to do it, she was sure of that, and she was going to prove to me what a big girl she was. Not a hint of embarrassment either, like the experience was completely real for her. I kept on noticing every little detail that proved how small she was in her own head, and I didn't stop being amazed at what a good little she was now that we'd got her properly into the role. I had to make this as fun as possible, so that it would be easier to bring her back to this headspace. This wasn't just about me enjoying the feelings of control; it was about teaching Tess that she needed to be a real little.

So I helped her to sit down, guiding both her hands. She squirmed from side to side, maybe not quite comfortable on the soft plastic seat. But then she was staring expectantly, like she still needed some help. She reached down to mash some of the buttons with clumsy hands, and got a whole chorus of different sound effects, but she was no closer to being able to pee. Was it just because her bladder was empty, or could she genuinely not remember how to let it out?