✅ My Cousin's Keeper [NaNoWriMo 2021]

85. My Improvisation

"What's this for?" Tess asked in confusion, and for a few seconds I didn't know how to respond. She was too young to know what it was, of course; perhaps she would have been too innocent even when not regressed. But I didn't want to risk it. I'd have to find some excuse to lose that particular item before she grew up, and hope that she didn't notice.

The thing in her hands was a pacifier gag. Not something for a child, or even an adult baby. It was clearly a piece of bondage gear, but designed with a childish aesthetic to add to the humiliation. I couldn't imagine how something like that would have wound up in the stack of presents. Except that I could, when I thought about it. Perhaps it wasn't meant to be for Tess; maybe it was something Ffrances had bought for me, and in an intensive giftwrapping session I'd just ploughed through the pile of presents without checking. The ornate ring box looked pretty fancy, and I was sure she would have been more excited opening that than the simple card package with pictures on the outside. So I'd discarded the box it came in while wrapping, but only opened it for long enough to check that there was a pacifier in there. I certainly hadn't stopped for long enough to read the little leaflet with care and washing instructions, or to pay much attention to the small print on the back of the box.

That had to be it. Even if I'd said that regression was too much for me, that didn't necessarily rule out baby-themed humiliation kink. And I knew that Ffrances loved pushing me to the edge, so she might have bought something like this as a toy to threated me with. So I would make sure that it disappeared before she could think about it too much, or find out what it really was. For now I just made some dumb excuse, saying that all the straps were to prevent her dropping it when she was busy playing, and Tess seemed to buy it. I wouldn't have believed that, but then I wasn't so regressed and open-minded. She wasn't suspicious at all about the new toy, but she was eager to try it. Just like I had instructed.

This wasn't what I had meant. It wasn't supposed to be like this, but when she begged like that I couldn't say no to her. I realised too late that I couldn't change the suggestions I had already given, not with the way these new triggers worked. I was realising that it took more thought than I had ever imagined to be the one in charge. Sure, I knew what I wanted her to think and feel; but things never seemed to happen in the way I had hoped, and if I wanted my little to be happy I had to find a way to deal with the unexpected and still make the day turn out well.

I couldn't call it off. I couldn't change what I'd already said. I should have been thinking ahead, and been more careful about the things I was making her feel. Now all I could do was run with it, and hope she didn't realise later how inappropriate it had been. I helped her put the pacifier in her mouth, and buckled the strap loosely. There was enough give in it that she could probably still talk, but I told her that when she wanted to stop sucking the thing, all she needed to do was wave at me.

Did Ffrances notice the present that didn't really fit with a children's Christmas? She showed no sign of understanding. I could guess that she wasn't playing along after all. The hypnosis really worked for her, even if it was her own voice. That made me even more nervous about this experiment; but if she could cope with being little for a couple of hours, it would be worth it to see Tess finally accept her role. But I knew I'd have to get the gag out of sight before either of them grew up, or I would never hear the end of it.

They took turns, and every gift was more exciting than the last. I tried not to overuse the triggers, because I knew Tess was more likely to impose them on Ffrances than enjoy them herself; and that meant it was hard to keep her regressed as much as I wanted. It seemed that Tess was excited by her presents, but paid more attention to hers. Just like when she was trying to pretend she was an adult, she was burdened by the feeling that she had to take responsibility for everything. I had to find a way to change her mind, but I didn't know what I could do about it for now.