✅ My Cousin's Keeper [NaNoWriMo 2021]

41. My Morning After

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"It's okay," I said, and shrugged in an effort to show Ffrances that it was no big deal. Which, of course, it really was. I'd woken up in a wet diaper, with my girlfriend talking down to me as if I were a real baby. It was a horrifying situation, but I knew that I could use yesterday's disaster to my advantage with just a little more thought. The most important thing now was to reassure my Mistress.

"It's just... this is weird for me. I wanted to have a little to look after. I read so much about it. But I never imagined being a baby. It was never something I wanted, and now it's like... having the tables turned. Or pulling the rug from under my feet, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I guess... it's not a good feeling for me. And waking up like this... it's humiliating. No, not humiliating. Humiliation can be fun, but this is like... degrading? I never asked for this."

"Then I won't do that again," she said, and squeezed my hand in support. "I wasn't sure, I thought you might enjoy seeing it from the other side. You know, find out how it feels so you have a better idea what things your little girl might enjoy. If you learn how it feels, you'd have a better chance of arranging it in a way that's comfortable for her."

"I don't think I need the education." And I really didn't. I'd been thinking about having a little for years now. I knew exactly what I wanted to do with her, I'd decided on most of it even before I knew who that little would be. I had it planned out in every detail, and the only parts that needed refining were the steps to make Tess accept it.

I knew Ffrances understood me then. Her head vanished under the covers, and I felt her helping me out of the soaked diaper. It could have been more embarrassing, and I felt that in her place I would have let me handle it myself. But that was why Ffrances was the perfect domme; she always knew the right thing to do. In private, when she was the only person to see, and when I was mature enough to think about what we were doing, humiliation didn't have to be a bad thing. There must have been wipes within reach, because pretty soon she was cleaning me up, and then her hands started to explore my body. In a minute or two I was no longer thinking about what had happened before; the only thing on my mind was Ffrances, and how she was touching me right now.

Some time later, I realised the chorus of birdsong was getting ever louder. It was the alarm on my phone, of course. I reached out and silenced it. And then I could turn back to Ffrances, and ask her what had happened yesterday. Why I'd ended up being the baby, and what I'd missed. I could remember most of what had before my unexpected regression, but it seemed my emotions had been running wild, and I'd barely been paying attention to the things that were important.

I'd kept pushing Tess to be younger, she told me. And Ffrances had already thought it would be interesting if I found myself regressing alongside my little one, just for this first time. She hadn't expected me to keep on using that trigger phrase so many times, or that I would turn into such a bitch once I started feeling younger. Ffrances hadn't known me in high school, so that one was probably on me. But I still felt like I should have been able to stick to my plan, even if I was feeling frustrated.

The other thing I had to ask about was Tess. How she'd reacted to being the baby she had always wanted, and if she'd said anything about doing this again. Ffrances couldn't say much; Tess had been quite enthusiastic about being a child again, saying that it was nice not to worry. But it felt like she was still too nervous to really say how she felt; repeating the line about only doing it for my benefit. It was clear that I'd have to be a child again, so I could give Tess an excuse to join me. But this time, I would have to check the details with Ffrances up front, and make sure that I wouldn't end up out of control again.

I asked how Tess had enjoyed an evening as a baby; if she remembered it any more than I did. That was the thing that shocked me most: after I'd turned Tess into a baby, she'd been upset and demanded to grow up again. So she'd been six or seven while we ate dinner, unwilling to continue as a toddler, and then asked to grow up again. She was happier being in charge, Ffrances though, unless she had something really stressful to deal with and wanted to lose control. That gave me a pause for thought; and I wondered how I would get Tess to agree to more regression. Would it be better if I said she could be a spoiled child who always got her own way?

But the biggest surprise of all came after I'd already understood that my plans had gone to hell. Tess had asked to be hypnotised again, later in the day. After she had returned to her real age, and I'd been put down for a nap like a helpless infant, they had talked more. Tess wanted a trigger, she said. Something that she could rely on instead of the drugs. This one was relatively simple: if someone she trusted told her whether or not she was going to wet the bed, her subconscious would make it happen. And they'd done it while I was resting, setting up the trigger already.

As she explained, I could imagine the conversation in my mind. Ffrances had been more willing than she would otherwise have been to give Tess that kind of trigger, because she knew about the drugs. She wanted to give Tess a way to take control of her bedwetting, so she would have a safer way to make it happen. While at the same time, Tess had been thinking about using hypnosis to cure her problem. They'd agreed on a compromise, without either realising that they were approaching it from the same direction.

I made sure to ask for all the details about how it was going to work, and did my best to make sure I remembered them. The part Tess had been hoping for seemed pretty simple. If I told her she wasn't going to have an accident tonight, then she wouldn't be able to take those drugs, wouldn't forget to use the toilet before going to sleep, and wouldn't do anything silly like drinking too much right before bed. Her subconscious mind would urge her to do all the right things to help prevent it. And more than that, she would feel extra confident, and a little proud of not having an accident. I thought about that for a few seconds before I understood why.

Ffrances thought that Tess would be asking permission to wet the bed so that she could feel childish. So in her mind, there was a chance that being told 'no', Tess would try the drugs as a backup plan. Phrasing the suggestion like this reduced the risk, and also meant that she would feel subtly littler even without wetting. It was a way to make her comfortable, so she was less likely to resent a refusal, perhaps.

The other side of the coin was an interesting one. If I told her that she was going to have an accident, Tess wouldn't pay attention to the instruction. She might not remember asking at all. I had to try quite hard not to chuckle when Ffrances told me that, because I was sure it would take quite a long time before Tess was confident enough in her headspace to make that request. But in any case, she wouldn't remember asking. It would just slip her mind; and so would anything she might have done to prevent it. I would tell her she was going to have an accident, and then she would forget to ask me for the other suggestion, if that had been her plan. She would drink more before bed, forget to go to the bathroom, and if her bladder woke her before morning she would relieve herself and fall straight back asleep. Ffrances didn't go into all the details, but she didn't need to. She had only needed to tell Tess that her subconscious would make sure an accident happened whenever we said it would. She would be able to work out how to achieve that herself.

And because I'd been very careful telling Ffrances why Tess wanted this, and Tess had probably been too embarrassed to go into detail, there was the unspoken rider that being triggered to wet would always make her feel like a child. It would never lose its impact. Those words were exactly what I'd wanted to hear. And I could relax properly now. Having such a powerful tool to help my little was worth even the degradation of being made to wet myself.