✅ My Cousin's Keeper [NaNoWriMo 2021]

65. My Baby's Rules

"What rules?" I asked eventually, as if it was only the details I needed to consider.

Tess had thought about this a lot, and said what she wanted quickly enough. The first one I would never have thought of, but I probably should have done. She wanted a safe word; some way to let me know that she wasn't in the mood for being babied. It was a natural thing in any kind of relationship with a strong power dynamic, so that the helpless person could make it clear that they were really uncomfortable. Ffrances had said we should choose one when I first said that I couldn't resist her control; although I'd never even come close to wanting to disobey her.

I put up a token argument, but I didn't worry too much about it. Before long I had agreed that I would stop treating her like a child if she clearly claimed to be an adult; and she had promised that she would only use those words if she was genuinely uncomfortable with continuing. I suspected that in reality she would be unable to keep to that; sooner or later every child has a problem admitting that someone else knows what is best for them. I knew I wouldn't allow her demands to come before her wellbeing and happiness; after a few more hypnotic adventures, I would be able to put her into her headspace when she needed it, without having to worry about what she thought she wanted. But for now, it seemed I would have to agree with her demands and say that they were reasonable.

I didn't know if I should be more worried about the second rule, or if it would turn out that she had led with the big one. But I was more than a little surprised when she said that she wasn't willing to give up responsibility. That made no sense at all; she had felt like she needed to prove how grown-up she was for her whole life, and I knew that she would begin to crack under all the stress if she didn't have an opportunity to be little and set all those expectations aside. But she seemed to think that having responsibility and expectations was the source of all happiness. I knew that could be the case for a more dominant personality, but it was clear Tess was a little and she would only disappoint herself if she kept trying to take charge.

I couldn't say that, of course. I couldn't tell her that people were either dom or sub, and that not knowing which you are was sure to end badly. That would open up way too many other questions that she wasn't old enough to understand. All I could do was nod and smile, and hope that once she discovered how good it felt to have nobody depending on her, she would understand what I'd been trying to teach her.

But for now, she was explaining that she wanted to have expectations and responsibility even when she was little. How could that work? There had been no expectations during our first real regressions session, and she'd had the time of her life. I tried to understand where she was coming from, hunting for the words that would highlight the error in her assumptions. And then I understood. She said that looking after a little sister was exactly what she needed. Just like what Ffrances had supposed, although Ffrances had at least been able to think of a believable reason for those desires. Tess wanted a sister, but that was easier said than done.

"I know it's hard," she took the words out of my mouth, "to find someone to play that role. But if I can find somebody willing to be my little sister, you don't get to object to that. You can't object to looking after two kids, because I'll be helping out." And it was hard to argue with that. If she couldn't find another little for me, the most likely outcome, then this rule wouldn't apply. I didn't think it would be as good for her if she was taking care of a little, she needed to let go of her adult thoughts. But I realised that a child could feel proud of helping even if she didn't do much, and I didn't think that caring for two littles was such a problem.

"Okay, I'll think about it." I was going to add a warning not to get her hopes up, because I still wasn't completely sure this was a good idea. But she was talking in a hurry, trying to get all the words out so she could run to the bathroom, and she just talked over me.