Aella

XLI

It's been about 3 days since the accident. I've been stuck in the hospital bed, so I'm excited to finally go back home. 

Aella hasn't been around much. She comes in with lunch and dinner for me, but leaves soon after, and we rarely speak to each other. Only small talk. I try so hard to talk to her, because I'm not mad at her. But she doesn't talk back, and when she does, it's small, short sentences. 

A nurse wheels in a wheelchair. "Good morning, Penelope. Here are some clothes for you." Folded in the seat of the wheelchair are a pair of sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and some slippers. 

Aella stands near the door, where she's been since I woke up this morning. The nurse hands me the clothes. "I'll give you a moment, I'll go get your papers". The nurse walks out, closing the door behind her and leaving me alone with Aella. 

I stand up slowly from the bed, but immediately turn around to use the bed for support. I start to rip the heavy paper robe I've been forced to wear during my time here. It drops to the floor, leaving me in only underwear. 

Looking down at my incision, it's a light pink, reddish color, just because it's still so fresh. I look back up to Aella, who also stares at my incision. "Aella", I whisper. She makes eye contact with me, blinks, then turns around, opens the door, and leaves.  

I'm losing her. If she would only talk to me. 

Alone, I dress myself in the clothes and take a few steps over to the door, slowly. I open it, then lean on the doorway for support. Aella stands near the doors to my left, her phone up to her ear. She's yelling at someone, but she's just far enough away that I can't hear what she's saying. 

The nurse comes back around to me. "Oh, my Dear", she pleas, running past me and grabbing my wheelchair, pulling it around to me. I plop down in it. "Let's get you out of here."

She wheels me out of the room, down towards Aella. Aella looks towards us, shoving her phone back in her pocket. The nurse and I stop in front of her. 

"We have a car waiting downstairs". Aella doesn't look at me, she just turns and starts walking. The nurse pushes me along behind Aella, in total silence. The three of us ride the elevator to the ground floor, and we walk out to the car waiting just outside of the main doors. Two guards stand at the front and the back of the car, in their black suits and sunglasses. 

Aella stands at the open car door, her hand held out for me. I push myself out of the chair, moving about a foot and sitting myself down in the car, releasing Aella's hand. I pull my feet into the car. 

"Good luck, Dear." The nurse says to me, smiling and giving a small wave. Aella shuts the door, so I simply wave out the window. Aella walks to the other side of the car and gets into her side of the car. 

The driver of our car starts driving as soon as Aella closes her door. I simply stare out the window, secretly hoping I could have taken that nurse home with me. She's the only person who's truly talked to me since I came out of surgery. 

The ride home is silent. The driver makes no sound, and Aella simply scrolls through her phone and sends texts. I don't even know where mine is, probably somewhere in Aella's totaled car. 

When we make it to the house again, it's a sort of sigh of relief; one, because of minor anxiety, and two, so I can get away from the deafening silence within the car. 

I open my door and swing it all the way. I grab the top of the door and pull myself to my feet. Aella comes around the car, watching me carefully. 

"Don't worry", I snip. "I got it".

Aella doesn't do anything, she just continues to watch me. 

I start at a slow pace towards the front steps, Aella follows next to me. When we make it to the stairs, she holds her hand out for me to take for balance. Together, we walk slowly up to the door. It opens from the inside, so we make our way in. The house is quiet, only our footsteps are to be heard. The guard who opened the door closes it again behind us.

It takes a while for me to get up the stairs and to our side of the house. I would have to stop and take a few breaths, my whole insides still feel like they're going to fall out. 

"Do you want to lay in bed?" Aella asks me. 

I shake my head. "No. I'd like to sit out here and watch TV for a little bit."

I go over to one of the chairs in our seating area. The fire crackles next to me. Aella goes over and picks up the TV remote, and then hands it to me. 

"I'll be downstairs in my office", Aella says with no emotion. I just look at her. 

Aella walks away, leaving me by myself. 

I can feel the tears start to well at the corners of my eyes, wanting to fall down my face. The TV plays a news channel I can barely understand, so I just watch the pictures and pick up the words I do know, then try to piece together the words I don't with context. 

I sit and cry in silence for awhile. Why won't she talk to me? She's shutting me out. What if she never comes back to me? What if this is it? How could a car accident lead someone to leave their partner? I need her. I can't do this alone. I need my support system. She is my support system. 

I need her.