Love & Legacy (Zhanyi)

36. Just a Dream?

Laying on his bed facing the medieval castle ceiling he was used to since childhood, the prince once again heaved a long sign for the nth time. Though he knew what he did was the right thing. He couldn't help but discern that he had disappointed the two people who always stood by his side. It wasn't like something like this hadn't happened before. There have been several times. When he distressed the people he cared about and who cared for him. Yet, none of them were like this. When he hurt all of them, together, at once. What made him even more downcast was the fact that he was used to his uncle being angry with him. But, at times like that, the prince was also used to having his mentor by his side. Who used to support him in convincing his uncle. Which wasn't the case this time. The prince knew that doing the right thing isn't always easy, but he never thought it would be this challenging, either. He really wished for someone by his side, someone he could lean on. But there was no one. And the one his heart wanted to be there said by himself that he doesn't want to be here for him.

Remembering Zhan himself denied being there made the prince feel depressed by a million times than he already was. He couldn't help remembering all the promises the officer made to him.

" I will be by your side .. Always."

" I swear, I will protect you with everything I have."

" Who says that I will give up on you? Never would I ever do something like that."

" So please refrain yourself from doing things that endanger it. If you really have to, then tell me, I will risk mine."
At the last memory, the prince could only laugh at his own foolishness for believing everything the officer said to him. He should have lost his mind to believe that someone could do something like that for him in return for nothing. Yet, a stupid past of his heart still voiced questions that had no answers. Like, How could all those moments, all those promises be nothing but just a part of the officer's mission? Despite, whatever he heard, he still couldn't believe that Zhan didn't love him back. If Zhan did love him back, then he couldn't reason why he was being pushed away. Even now, when the King himself asked for assistance, Zhan still denied it. The prince could find no sane reason to justify the acts of the officer. And he found it to be frivolous of himself to think about the things that caused him pain, over and over again. But he couldn't help it. It's been like this for the past several days. No matter what he thought about, he would end up thinking about Zhan. It wasn't intentional, though. It was just that the officer has become a crucial point in his life that no matter where or what he started to think about he would always end up thinking of those hurtful thoughts.

With all his thoughts contradicting each other, the prince spent the rest of the day thinking and debating with himself. Without a morsel of food, without even realizing when the sun drowned in the West and the moon rose in its glory. The prince might have spent the rest of the night the same if it wasn't for his right-hand man intruding his train of thoughts.

Truly, Jiang Cheng was already tired of this new side of the prince. Previously there were several times when he complained about the overactive, playful, rulebreaker side of the prince but now that he has seen this obedient, calm, rule-follower side of the prince he could only wish to get back that chaotic prince. The prince that would keep him worried throughout the day by his shenanigans. Not the prince who barely even left his room and would look so gloomy and depressed all the time. He has never seen this side of Yibo during all the years he had known the prince. It was almost as if he wasn't the same person anymore. No matter what came his way the prince always faced it with confidence. Nothing has taken away that optimistic side of the prince from him except for the few days he spent out of the palace. And the right-hand man vaguely had an idea what might be the reason too.