Reaching The Unreachable (COMPLETE)

Reaching: 19

Roshan

I woke up early in the morning. Hindi pa tumataas ang araw ay gising na ako. Ashtim is still sleeping beside me. I felt butterflies when I felt his strong arms around my waist. Sinubukan kong makawala sa kaniyang mga bisig para sana makapag handa na ng umagahan namin, ngunit sa tuwing gagawin ko ay hinihila ako nito pabalik at palapit sa kaniya.

"It's still early, sleep my love."

"I need to prepare breakfast Ashtim."

He snuggled his head more on my neck. Ramdam ko ang pag singhot nito sa amoy ko. Humataw ulit ng mabilis ang puso ko. I can't believe how in love I am with him. I can't believe I can love him with too much intensity.

"Stay for a little bit more..."

Mas lalong humigpit ang mga bisig nitong nakayakap sa akin. Tinutunaw ako ng init ng yakap niya. Parang gusto ko na lamang manatili ng ganoon habang buhay.

Hinayaan ko siya sa gusto niya at hindi na sinubukan pang bumangon. Nanatili kaming magkayakap sa isa't-isa. He was again fast asleep while I'm wide awake. Marahan kong inangat ang ulo ko para pagmasdan ang mukha nito.

Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko ng makita kung gaano kalapit ang mukha nito sa akin.  His breathing is even, his face is so peaceful. Can't you imagine? I'm sleeping with the man I love right beside him. He's holding me in his arms, tightly, afraid to let me go.

Iyong taong pinapangarap ko ay nandirito na sa harapan ko't yakap-yakap ako. He's so handsome that I can't help but to admire everything about him. Ashtim...I can never get tired telling you how much I love you. I can whisper it to you every day of my life if you'd want me to, I could scream how much I love you if you'd ask me to.

Natatakot ako sa pagmamahal na nararamdaman ko para sayo, but then I can't help but embrace it, because I want you so much. I need you in my life.

Lumipad ang palad ko sa kaniyang mukha. I traced his face from his eyes down to his nose, up to his lips, and then I caressed his cheeks.

"I love you so much Ashtim."

Bulong ko sa kaniya. Sinubukan ko ulit tanggalin ang braso niyang nakapulupot sa akin. Sa pagkakataong ito ay hindi na ito nanlaban. Dahan-dahan akong tumayo mula sa pagkakahiga, paalis sa kama. Isinuot ko muna ang robang nakasabit sa upuan bago mabilis na lumabas sa kwartong iyon.

I tried my best not to let my tears roll down as I set my foot out of my room.

I know he's awake. He's been awake the moment I lifted my head to stare at him.
I can't believe I'm hurting right now. I can't believe I'm embracing fire even though I know I'll get burnt in the end.

Dumiretso na ako sa kusina at sinumulang magluto ng umagahan. Itinuon ko ang buing atensyon sa pagluluto, umaasang mapupukaw nito ang isipan ko. I tried my best to get this thought out of my mind.

He said he loves me, we even made love. Siya ang paniniwalaan ko at hindi ang agam-agam ko. He said he loves me, mahal niya ako. And I believe him, I believe him because I love him.

Nagluto lamang ako ng scrumbled egg at hotdog na natitira sa aking red. Kailangan ko na nga talagang mag grocery. I'll meet the organizers later. I also need to contact a dj for the sound sytem. And then after that ay kaunting trabaho nalang for the anniversary ay wala na akong gagawin. I'll just ask my brother kung mayroon itong kilalang dj na pwede naming makuha.

Nag-aayos na akong mesa nang pumasok si Ashtim na nakaligo na at nakabihis. The familiar scent of my body wash waft around the kitchen. I didn't know that mixed berries would smell this nice till he used it. What the hell? The world is so unfair!