Finally

What to do

Laurent's POV:

My father and the five wolves still has yet to be tried for their crimes against wolfkind and it was starting to bother me more and more with each passing day.

Especially since I finally had Larry back. I did not want him to worry about something happening to him again. The first couple days since his return he stayed in the pack hospital. While I stayed in his room just watching as he slept.

Larry would occasionally wake up dazed and confused for a split second or two but quickly calmed down when he smelt my scent in the air around him.

Every time I looked at him I became heartbroken. He refused to look me in the eye. He stopped smiling his breathtaking smile. Every noise he heard he got startled. He didn't remind me of the strong wolf I first met in the forest or the wolf who put the she-wolves in their place or the wolf that let out an earth shattering growl to stop both my father and I from tearing each other apart. No he did not act like my Larry and it hurt.

I wish I could have traded places with him. I would do anything to bring his heart stopping smile back to his beautiful face. But all I can do is hold him and tell him everything is going to be okay.

The doctor said his physical scars will heal once we fully mark each other. But his emotional scar will take some time. Larry won't tell us what happened to him and when ever I ask when we are alone he just tells me it doesn't matter.

It actually does matter and for him to just sweep in under the rug (as the saying goes) is not going to help him recover anytime soon.

I feel lost, useless and even scared. Am I good enough to be an Alpha? I mean it took four months to get the information I needed from those worthless wolves just because I did not want to hurt their mates. While mine was out there somewhere having only Goddess knows what done to him just so some other wolf can send him back.

Should I just ask the council to pick a better alternative to run this pack? Will Larry forgive me when he finds out I only searched for him but was unable to find him just because I didn't want anyone else hurt?

F**k Goddess help me...I growled out frustratingly at the moon as I tried to calm both myself and Beast down. Speaking of Beast he hasn't talked to me since Larry/Blaze was returned to us I think even he is pi$$ed off at me for trying to be kind with others while our mates were being held captive and tortured.

Truly I do not blame him because I blame myself. The pack doctor told me not to tell Larry anything crucial until he recovers but the guilt is eating me up and driving me crazy. My biggest fear is that Larry will leave me after I tell him everything that has happened since he was wolfnapped.

But I would rather have Larry know the truth and hate me than not know and be falsefully happy with me. At first I was going to be selfish and not tell him anything but after witnessing his sleepless nights and his anxious moments I decided to tell him.

Maybe I should wait till he's recovered but I did not want to prolong his hatred and his possible rejection for me. Yes if he chose to reject me it'll probably hurt me, but nothing would kill me more if I allowed Larry to live in a lie.

'You're an a$$ho!e.' Beast gritted out his first words to me in over a week. He may be right but Larry deserves to know the truth and to be able to decide what he wanted to do without feeling pressure of our falsified happiness.

Don't get me wrong I love Larry with every fiber in my being. He is the reason for my living. My heartbeat. My love. My soulmate. And I would rather die than to let him go but some times you have to sacrifice yourself for those whom you love.

If it wasn't for this damn mate pull I would have told Larry the moment he was discharged from the hospital. Between the mate pull and Beasts anger towards me I have reluctantly kept quiet, but today after talking to my grandparents and my mother I decided it was time to tell Larry the truth.

My grandparents agree with me but like Beast and the pack doctor my mother does not. It took some time and heavy thinking of the outcome to finally just to tell Larry.

As I walked back into our room at the packhouse I watched as Larry laid on the bed zoning out, thinking of Goddess knows what. I just stared and tried to imagine my life without my mate and no matter the thought I couldn't imagine not waking up next to him.

Having our pups running around driving every wolf crazy. Being his husband. And as I continued to stare at him I started to talk myself out of telling him. But quickly halted that thought.

I refused to be selfish.

I walked towards Larry and sat next to him. I grabbed his hands bringing him out of his thoughts. He smiled at me the smile that I had wished to see for the longest time. Yet his smile did not deter me from telling him.

Goddess please help me💔