Sad Memory / JIKOOK

month 5

 
    Just as Leo Tolstoy famously stated, "The two most powerful warriors are patience and time."

For Jungkook, patience came naturally to him, He did not put in much effort to obtain it or let it slip away. He possessed a soulful patience that never wavered. However, after five long months of waiting and desperately trying not to destroy everything he had built through great difficulty and struggle, his resolve was beginning to falter every time he caught sight of Jimin's endearing smile directed toward him.

All he yearned for was to abandon all sense of reason and restraint, to sprint towards Jimin, leaving behind patience, time, logic, and reality. He wanted nothing more than to envelop the smaller man in a tight embrace, kiss him passionately, and reassure him with whispered words of comfort, and ask him to let him in; he will never regret it.

It was a peculiar contradiction for someone as seemingly calm and stoic as Jungkook, No one knew his true nature. Yet behind his cool exterior lay a hidden depth of emotion that only surfaced when he laid eyes on Jimin's radiant face.

Jimin himself knows that very well. He is acutely aware of the vast gap between his understanding of Jungkook's true personality and character. Despite this knowledge, he finds solace in the younger man's genuine sincerity whenever they interact, As long as Jungkook is honest and truthful towards him, nothing else matters.

On top of that, Jimin hasn't exactly acknowledged their relationship or the feelings in his heart, which is why he kept telling himself he didn't need more and tried not to dwell on the emotions whenever his heart yearned to learn more about the taller person.

The adage "time moves slowly yet passes quickly" resonates deeply with Jimin, as he reflects on how his own life seems to embody this paradox. For him, time seemed to come to a standstill on a particular day in the past – a day etched in his memory when he stood in a graveyard, bloody tears staining his face as he gazed blankly at his friend's grave. The pitying gazes of his parents and others lingered behind him, serving as a stark reminder of the passage of time.

It had passed quickly that seven years had swiftly slipped away since that moment, yet somehow it still stopped and took a standstill at that exact time.

How strange and confusing it is to consider that even after 7 years, his life continues to revolve around a particular day as if time was not only slow but completely stagnant.

In the grand scheme of human existence, people strive to achieve their goals and dreams. And in Jungkook's case, he has seemingly ticked off every box on his list – graduation looming on the horizon, a successful company renowned nationwide, and an abundance of wealth.

And, in his quest for fulfillment, he deliberately severed ties with his parents out of spite. and for revenge took everything from them. He had everything one could desire in life.

He possesses everything that a typical person goals in life. And then It so happened that Jimin crossed his path again, and it just so happened that Jimin was also one of his life goals.

Hence, whenever he felt like his life lacked meaning, whenever he found himself yearning for purpose and lacking direction in life, there was always a moment when Park Jimin caught his eye and made him question everything. Jimin became his inspiration, his aspirations, the one thing he longed for more than anything else. But while he dreamed of having Jimin all to himself, Jimin simply desired freedom; to let go of life's burdens and follow his departed soul to paradise with a smile that had been forced for way too long.

He held onto that smile for so long that jungkook thought it would be painful to let his face unwind.

  As Jungkook fantasized about the man he couldn't have, he pondered how two individuals with such contrasting personalities could ever find common ground. This internal struggle persisted throughout their time together, leaving Jungkook wondering if their differences were too vast to overcome.