Scatter Hearts

14| November

Journal Entry #10 2017

I smiled ear to ear rereading my new note to Briar I planned to give him at lunch. It was basically I kind of worried note saying I wasn't sure what we were doing anymore or going to do. I mean he was busy, I was busy.. I guess.. and we never went out anymore..
**
I hesitated standing up from my table. I quickly stood, walked over there, dropped the note near Briar, and ran back to my table. It all happened so fast I was still shaking. This wasn't the first time I'd done that.

Luna clapped at me. "Well done girl!"

I sheepishly grinned and hid behind my lunch box. "Oh shush LuLu." I said quietly. Luna, and the girls in our group laughed. "It's not funny guys." I said embarrassed.
***
My phone died on the way home, and I just flipped through YouTube on the Tv in the living room. Mostly playing FNAF songs. (I was home alone today.) I plugged my phone in as soon as I could. I hated it's short battery life. It's only deteriorated over the years, getting worse.

It was so bad that even when on the charger the battery died. Not being used at all it died. I loved android, but I hated that damn battery.
Halfway through the Bonnie Song by Groundbreaking, I checked on my phone. 3%.
I also had three messages from Briar. I blinked and frowned. "What?" I said. I felt a strange feeling in my gut. I shakily opened my phone and clicked messages.
They were paragraphs.

Oh great, reading. I love reading. I frowned at the paragraphs as I read. My jaw dropped and quivered.
Every word on, I began shaking more, and tears filling my eyes. No.. no.. no.. not again..

I didn't even see what else his ass had to say before I dropped the phone and ran to my room. Salt water already pouring from my visual organs, I fell to the ground in my room, crying softly and a bit loud. I prayed and begged to God once again.

I cried and cried, for months, and my chest didn't hurt as much as it probably should've. I cried so much I physically wasn't able to cry anymore. I blinked. God, why? Why does everyone hate me?
----------------

Journal Entry #11 ??? am/pm (Future telling the story)

December wasn't any better, I can say that. I did get mad at Briar for things he'd promised we'd do but never did though. So much so that I acted on one of them a month later..