McBatim; Before The Nexttgenns Trilogy: Scatter Hearts

55| Thoughts 2

Journal Entry # 20 Tuesday 2019

Two weeks after the party, Dad and I were talking on the way to school. The topic went back to Orion wearing dark colors. I rolled my eyes, staring out the passenger window. Again with this.. I frowned. "What about it.." I said. We rounded the corner near the front of the school. The line wasn't long yet, luckily. "You need to change that about him." Dad said. I kept my gaze outside. "Sure whatever." I said quickly, grabbing my bag and opening the jeep door. "Bye." I said jumping out. "Bye, have a good day." Dad replied as I slammed the door so it would close. I speed-walked to the entrance as the jeep took off down the road. I stared at the ground as I walked, the chatter, screams, and excitement of the cafeteria and commons  became background noise in my head, as thoughts swirled around me.

What do I do..

I can't change him..

I don't want to change him..

I just hope my weakness.. doesn't prove to be his..

As I approached the stairwell, Friday's new group came into view. I just glanced over, and quickly passed; not in annoyance, but sadness, almost. I had wanted to remain friends with her, after November. I blinked, sliding down the brick wall in the hallway behind the stairs to wait for Orion..

**

I had practically ran through the 180 hallway. My focus was mainly on my phone. No.. No, no, no, no.. I texted Friday on the community app she showed me. 'Can we at least stay friends?..' Tears slid down my cheeks. Please.. I blinked, my vision blurring. Almost there.. My steps echoed through the hall. Her messages came in. ' No..' she said. 'Why'  I asked. 'Our friendship will never be the same, I know.. but..' She didn't respond.

**

I blinked. A pair of black flats about 9/12 in boys, appeared in front of me. I looked up to see Orion's pale, smiling face. "Hey." He said, sliding down the wall to sit next to me.

"Hey.." I said. "What's wrong?" He asked. I looked at him, and a smile spread across my face. "I love you." I said, changing the subject. He raised a brow. "Are you okay?" I nodded.

"Just.." I sighed. "Thinking about being her friend again.." Orion glanced over my shoulder at Friday's group of new friends. "Why not talk to her?" I snuck a peek at the group, and turned back to Orion.

"No.." I said. "It's not that simple. Besides, she already ignores me as it is." I stared at the dirty tile floor. "I see her in the halls and wave as she passes sometimes, it's like I'm not even there, or she turns her nose up at me like I'm the one who broke Her heart."

Orion pulled me close, and hugged me. "I'd never do that to you." I heard his heart beating in his chest as he held me. It was kind of comforting. Strange.. Briar never did this.. why do I find this so soothing? I listened and we sat there for what felt like a forever I never wanted to end.