Gallery

Whalien52

Three days pass, dragging along like bare feet on shattered glass. It's horrible, knowing that I'd managed to mess things up ever worse than I already had. After Jungkook leaving, Namjoon came to explain what had happened between the two of them that day. He explained that he felt it was only fair to help me understand the gravity of the situation we had all unwilling become apart of. The narrative of our story had shifted from a love story to a tragedy in such a short time and I couldn't even begin to comprehend it until he'd sat me down. 

He explained that Jungkook had been there, the day at the gallery. He'd been the one to spot me, before even I had noticed them. He'd taken the photo that Namjoon had shown me and treasured to intentionally include me. He'd felt something but I'd left too quickly. At the first meeting he'd been shocked to see me, he couldn't say anything and then things with Namjoon had unfolded too quickly to intervene. He'd apologized to Namjoon and explained that he wanted to respect him, that he'd tried to leave well enough alone but when things had ended he found himself drawn to me. He'd thought it could be a harmless flirtation similar to what Jimin and I had had the entire time but quickly realized that he couldn't. I couldn't understand. 

'Why me?' 

I don't have a smile that lights up a room. I'm not the girl who walks on air, has delicate features and speaks eloquently causing men to fall at my feet. But I wasn't the 'not like other girls' type either, I wasn't imperfectly perfect.  I'm messy, I'm arrogant and selfish and I make more mistakes than anyone I knew personally. This wasn't a rags to riches, perfect love story. I was unremarkably, uncharacteristically, average in every way of the sense. And I was content with that. 

He continued, giving me short breaks to process what he was saying. I could tell Jungkook had been right, Namjoon felt terribly for not noticing how Jungkook had felt, and even more so knowing how it felt to not be able to do anything about our situations. He explained that flirting with me, getting closer had only deepened his feelings and that he had planned to try and tell me how he'd been feeling. Things that night had given him hope, seeing that I couldn't stay away from him made him think that there was a chance. 

"So what you're saying, is that this whole time he was the photographer that took that picture? The one that started this whole thing, and that he's had a thing for me this whole time.... and not a single person knew?" 

Namjoon nods, shrugging his shoulders, "I was caught up on you, on us and what we couldn't have. And Jimin was always there, touching you and making jokes... I should have seen it but I didn't." 

"I did. You lot are a mess I swear." Yoongi's standing in the open doorway, resting his arm on the doorframe he plants his forehead against his arm with a huff. 

"You knew?" 

"Yeah, how could I not? Kook's been crazy about her since before you brought her home. The hoodie on that first night? How quiet he was until you guys stopped seeing each other? How straight after he was all over her like Jimin? Geeze Joon, he took that picture you liked so much. How did neither of you know?" 

'Fuck.' 

"Why didn't you say something Yoongi? I really hurt him! I had no idea, I thought we were just drunk!" 

Namjoon's contemplating, replaying everything in his mind. I think back too and it all makes sense, the awkward jokes, the close encounters, the night in the shower, even before the party something definitely should have set off alarm bells but I'd been a fool. And now Jungkook was gone, and hardly anyone could get him to reply. 

"I'll be honest, he said something to me the morning after you got here Y/N... he was watching you while we made coffee. Said you were really something, I warned him about the crush but I guess he couldn't give it up, even for Namjoon." 

Hobi joins us, sitting quietly he presses his palm to his forehead as Tae arrives as well. Soon everyone is here and it all comes out. Just about everyone had realized what was happening, but myself and Namjoon. 

"He gave you his hoodie that first night so you weren't cold, that was kind of a big one." Says Hobi, laughing softly he looks to see the hoodie in question hanging loosely on me. 

"He always made sure he had the last word when you and I were messing around too." Adds Jimin with a solemn expression. 

"I uh, I heard that conversation you had Yoongi... I just had no idea who it was you were talking to. I should have asked but I couldn't place your voice either and everything's happened so fast." Jin nods, leaning in to give me a one armed-hug. 

"Well, I guess this leaves us with a lot to think about... Y/N, did you want to talk outside? I need to know something." 

Despite Tae's worried expression, I nod and follow Yoongi out to the balcony for the second time in only a matter of days. 

"What's on your mind?" The breeze is fresh as I light another cigarette, this time I'm too worried about everything collapsing in on me to worry about Yoongi who positions himself upwind of me.

He sighs, "Tell me the truth Y/N, were you planning on doing something like this when you got here? Or do you seriously have no idea how you feel anymore?" 

I'm taken aback by how harsh his words are, how they sting like tiny cuts all over. I can't bring myself to blame anyone but myself though. I shake my head as tears well up again. 

"Look, I know things were complicated between us too... I knew you liked me from that first meet up. But we're different and you know that I love you, but things are getting really old with the guys pining after you." 

'Oof. Way to put it Yoongs.' 

"So, you knew huh? That's awkward. But no, I never meant for any of this. I really only went to that first party because you were all so nice and insisted. Everything after that's just been a horrible mess of my own creation."