Don't Fear The Reaper (R. Grimes & D. Dixon)

44

Kit and rick leaned against their porch railing after Morgan left, just staring at the wall providing their only protection from the mass of walkers on the other side.

"if we can somehow get outside the walls, get back to our cars at the quarry, we could use them to draw them away." rick said

"or we make a fire somewhere," she mumbled

"no fires," rick chuckled

kit sighed "we'll set up more watchpoints, coordinate different moves to spread them out give us an opening maybe."

"We need to get all our people on it. carl, Jody, Tara, Rosita, t-dog."

"and everyone else?"

"They haven't trained enough. let's just keep this to our own for now."

"they aren't ever going to be ready if you continuously bench them," Rick sighed, eyeing her, his eyes briefly flickering behind her.

"Deanna," he greeted; kit turned to face the older woman now rushing up the stairs to them.

"kit, rick," she greeted

"what's that?" rick asked, nodding to the roll of paper in her hand

"plans for the expansion," Deanna said with a giant smile contagious to kit.

"We got a few other things on our plate right now." rick stressed

" I know." she smiled, handing it to kit "these are for what Alexandria can be after this. because one way or another, there will be an after this." Deanna said, radiating hope as she walked away. 

Kit turned back to rick pecking his lips. "I'm going to look these over. Judith and I'll be over at Jessie's if you need me." rick hummed, giving her a reassuring look as she fiddled with the angel wings around her neck.

Kit knocked on the door of Jessie's house, Judith in her arms, kits braid clutched tightly in her tiny hands. Jessie answered the door holding paintbrushes and wearing a paint-splattered blue flannel.

"kit, hey, come in" Jessie smiled, opening the door wider; kit stepped in far enough for Jessie to shut the door behind them. "let me just go lock these up real quick."  Jessie held up the brushes while walking away.

"Kit?" Sam called from the top of the stairs

"what's up, Sam?" kit said back

"What happens if you can't live with it?" 

"live with what, Sam?" 

"lying"

"It eats away at your consciousness and makes you feel guilty." kit sighed 

"The people who came, were they monsters? Did my dad turn into one?" kit furrowed her eyebrows, confused as to where these questions were coming from and why he was even asking her, of all people.

"what?" she asked

"if you kill people, do you turn into one of the monsters?" his question cut her deeper than she would have liked, especially when she was battling over her own damnation.

"I don't know anymore, sam all I know is people kill for different reasons, to save others, for revenge, or just because they like it."

"Those people, did they like it?"

"yes," "do you?" "no. I hate it, but I do what I must to keep my family safe."

"I don't think you're a monster." 

"Thanks, Sam" kit cleared the lump in her throat as Jessie came back in 

"tea?" "Please," she said, laying Judith down on a blanket on the floor before approaching the island and rolling out the blueprints. It was clever, the layout. Enough space for crops, a mill, school. a Latin incantation at the bottom caught her eye that read be patient and tough. someday-